So in one of my insomniac wanderings of the internet, I started reading some stuff on cognitive science, and more specifically Cognitive Dissonance. For those who don't want to read it, simply put, it's about easing internal conflict. One example is the old sour grapes fable - the fox can't reach the grapes, and so concludes the grapes are probably sour anyway. The conflict of wanting the grapes but not being able to get them leads to the rationalisation that he doesn't want them, thereby making him feel better.
As with most things, I thought about how it applies to poker - and I think it does in a big big way. Think about it - how many times have you recklessly fired the 3rd shell, got called and thought 'Man, what an idiot, how can he call there'. Or made a fancy move which didn't work but rationalised that it was good because the guy played the hand weird and normally it would work great. Maybe it's just me (!) but I think it happens to most players, and I think a lot of players use these rationalisations a lot to make themselves feel better - often about their bad play.
Say you make a calldown in a spot where you're vaguely aware that he probably has it, but you haven't mentally set in stone that this type of situation is a fold - so you just press the call button (certainly happens to me a lot...). There is huge dissonance here - you're supposed to be a thinking, intelligent poker player, you're aware he usually has you, but you pay him off anyway. This internal conflict, this contradiction is unpleasant to you, so you rationalise it. You think 'He could've had the busted flush draw' or 'he probably isn't good enough to value bet top pair here'. You focus on the few times you've seen people show up with air here, even though it's far less common than when they have you beat, and decide the call was probably fine, you just got unlucky to run into a hand. This means you'll continue to make the same mistake, until you address the problem and actually stop calling in these spots.
The idea of lying to yourself isn't exactly new, but I think being aware that it's an inherent human trait, and not simply some vague thing 'that some people do' can really help to identify when you're just trying to make yourself feel better. Earlier today I made a pretty bad call with a flush on a paired board where it was pretty much never good, and rationalised it by thinking about players from years and years ago who could show up with weaker flushes in this spot. I knew it was a bad call, but I sort of decided it was more of a cooler since maybe he can have lower flushes, maybe a straight... and I sort of pushed it from my mind. Then I decided discussing the hand was probably a good idea, and my coach verbally slapped some sense into me!
So, that's the lesson for today kids. Be aware when your mind is simply trying to placate you - ignoring or rationalising your mistakes away or blaming them on others is easier, but it wont make you a better player.
Monday, 19 April 2010
Sunday, 4 April 2010
March roundup, April showers...
So... march didn't go too well. Played a little less than february, and with no results to speak of really.
March
Sessions: 9
Hours: 77
Results: -$2.3k
DTD was fun but losing. Was starting to get a little down over the lack of results etc, but figured going to Ireland for the Irish Open would be a nice get away. 3.5k main event started of brilliantly. Had a very soft table, was playing well, feeling great. Got up to 30k (from 10k) within 4 hours, pretty much a dream start. 90 minutes later I was bust. Not quite sure how to be honest. Made 1 bad multi-street bluff that was just FPS, and 2 marginal/possibly bad calldowns that cost me a bit. Few coolers. Lost a flip. Still a lot of work to do on my live game I think. I just can't stop myself playing hands!
So anyways, was feeling pretty sorry for myself, lost a bunch trying to sat into EPT San Remo where some friends are playing (to no avail) and lost some playing live cash. Decided just to grind online instead... a good choice it turns out. Saturday night I binked the FT 50/50 for $8.7k, and tonight just finished the obligatory sunday session, coming 2nd in the FT $59 superturbo for a little under $10k. weee! Also, just done my spreadsheets and the score tonight FINALLY gets me over the $100k lifetime profit mark. Been hovering around it for bloomin' ages, nice to cross it.
So I'm in a good mood. Going to play the 330 bounty event tomorrow, think it's the last event in the Irish Open schedule, should be fun. Hope this weekend bodes well for the rest of April!
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
February roundup
Weird month. The downswing continued until my live games, where I lost money too. Ended up nearly going bust online down to about $2-3k or so, which really sucked, and I was starting to worry a little financially. I mean, things weren't getting desperate or anything, I just didn't have any spare cash to redeposit (other than savings which I wasn't going to dip in to) so I'd have had to drop down to $10-26mtts and nothing higher. Thankfully a mate of mine offered to stake me for a while. We joked that his money runs good so I'll be off the stake in no time - obviously within 3 sessions I make him $10k! Had my biggest ever score, a little over $15k for a stars $162 win, and a few other smaller scores.
So I have a roll again, although I'm still being backed for most of the stuff I'm playing - I have my action at the lower buyins. Going to stay on the stake for a little while I think, less pressure = happy cheesies. I'm still not in the black for 2010 yet, down a few $k overall, but feb results were much much better than I expected a week ago.
February
Sessions: 13
Hours: 102.5
Results: +$4.6k
Monday, 1 March 2010
Live pokerament trip report
The DTD £300 lasted all of 45 mins. Was feeling really good about this tournament, had a soft table, was playing well, for the 45 minutes I lasted anyway. Obligatory bustout hand: A few limpers to me at 50/100, I check BB with Q4s. Flop comes 442ss. I c/c a pot bet from anonymous live player #1. Turn is a blankish card, an offsuit 9 or something. I c/r his pot bet to 4kish, he raises to 10k (with ~2k back). I actually consider folding as it's live, but then I remember I have teh tripz and shove it in his face. He sigh-calls and flips A5ss, and obviously gets there. So that's fun, I end up playing cash for most of the rest of the weekend (the £165 on the sunday goes fairly similarly) and actually do really well at 1/2 nlhe. Unfortunately my friend Dave persuades me to play some drunken 1/2 omaha, obviously I lose a £2k pot to him (he runs waaaay too good) middle set < flush draw, to put me down a few hundred for the trip. Fun though.
Spend a few days in Sheffield which was great, though I'm starting to feel a little tired after 4-5 days of late nights and drinking. We turn up for the £500 UKIPT Manchester on the wednesday as there is a PS party/free bar (I'm not playing until friday so I get a lie-in!) which is fun, though my liver is groaning. We hear recent EPT winner Jake Cody is having a party nearby, so we tag along and there's free champagne flowing like orange juice, all very jolly. Then we go back to the casino for some poker (obviously a fantastic idea)... I think I won some money? I'm not sure. Next day Dave and Dan are groaning about having to get up for the tournament that starts at 2pm - I lie in bed. Score. I head down for cash in the evening, although it's so full there aren't any free tables at all and all the waiting lists are full, so me and Dave end up heading back to the hotel and playing online. I break even, he crushes some more HU PLO. Dan's still in the tournament, and ends the day amongst the top stacks.
I get up the next day to play my starting day, and feel pretty rubbish. I get an ok starting table, a few scandis (one very stereotypical - 'straddles' every utg, playing a bunch of pots. he busts pretty quickly after a few rough coolers), a few standard live nits, teddy sherringham in seat 4, a few youngish guys who seem ok. I end up playing pretty badly all in all, trying to force things. I get that a lot playing live I think, I want to play every hand and end up seeing J8s in Mp1 and considering it a mandatory open - using 'it's live!' as an excuse to spew. Anyways, so I kind of hover around starting for a while, but things start going down hill, and I lose a bunch of pots in sucky spots. Finally I get it in 99 < AKo, whatever.
I played a £100 side event that evening, win a last longer bet vs dave and dan, but bust before the money. We play a bit of omaha, where I lose some more money (I'm never playing live PLO again) but I win it back and more at nlhe. Me and dan head back earlyish and leave dave omahaing it up at £5/5, as Dan plays day 2 of the ME the next day, and I feel like crap. Dave comes in at 8am or so, after losing an £xk pot (8k I think?) after getting it in with top set + 2nd nut FD and losing to the nut FD. Sigh.
Dan leaves early the next day, we sleep until the evening. I play the £300 side event, dave goes out drinking, dan plays his day 2. The 300 goes a little better than the others, I'm playing better, but generally get ridiculously card dead and short, and end up busting standardly. Dan busts too, mincashing for 1k (we have 5% in each other for the main event so weee £50!). Dave comes back and there's generally more drinking and pokering going on. Me and dan take it in turns playing dave HU on the HU poker machine for £50/game, and end up busting him which is pretty funny (I don't think he won a single game) and so he obviously goes and withdraws £3k, throwing £1k on black as he walks past the roulette wheel. Drunken gambling for the win...? It comes in of course, because he runs good. He then makes a no-pit games rule, and if we ever see him playing a pit game ever again he has to give us both £100.
Anyway, long and the short of it, we sit at some 1/2nlhe, play stupidly and and annoy all the regulars, Dave loses after calling allin for several hundred with 53o, and leaves to get his train, me and dan play until 12pm the next day (18hours playing for me, 22 or something for him) I win a bunch, I think dan lost some. Next day me and dan turn up and play some 5/5 for a while, it goes very badly to start with for me, but I win a few hands and leave breakeven, and I get the 5am train back to bristol for some much needed sleep.
Think lost about £1.5k on the trip, but it was great fun. I also realised that I need to play more straightforwardly in tournaments, more live nlhe cash, and that I should never, ever play PLO.
Spend a few days in Sheffield which was great, though I'm starting to feel a little tired after 4-5 days of late nights and drinking. We turn up for the £500 UKIPT Manchester on the wednesday as there is a PS party/free bar (I'm not playing until friday so I get a lie-in!) which is fun, though my liver is groaning. We hear recent EPT winner Jake Cody is having a party nearby, so we tag along and there's free champagne flowing like orange juice, all very jolly. Then we go back to the casino for some poker (obviously a fantastic idea)... I think I won some money? I'm not sure. Next day Dave and Dan are groaning about having to get up for the tournament that starts at 2pm - I lie in bed. Score. I head down for cash in the evening, although it's so full there aren't any free tables at all and all the waiting lists are full, so me and Dave end up heading back to the hotel and playing online. I break even, he crushes some more HU PLO. Dan's still in the tournament, and ends the day amongst the top stacks.
I get up the next day to play my starting day, and feel pretty rubbish. I get an ok starting table, a few scandis (one very stereotypical - 'straddles' every utg, playing a bunch of pots. he busts pretty quickly after a few rough coolers), a few standard live nits, teddy sherringham in seat 4, a few youngish guys who seem ok. I end up playing pretty badly all in all, trying to force things. I get that a lot playing live I think, I want to play every hand and end up seeing J8s in Mp1 and considering it a mandatory open - using 'it's live!' as an excuse to spew. Anyways, so I kind of hover around starting for a while, but things start going down hill, and I lose a bunch of pots in sucky spots. Finally I get it in 99 < AKo, whatever.
I played a £100 side event that evening, win a last longer bet vs dave and dan, but bust before the money. We play a bit of omaha, where I lose some more money (I'm never playing live PLO again) but I win it back and more at nlhe. Me and dan head back earlyish and leave dave omahaing it up at £5/5, as Dan plays day 2 of the ME the next day, and I feel like crap. Dave comes in at 8am or so, after losing an £xk pot (8k I think?) after getting it in with top set + 2nd nut FD and losing to the nut FD. Sigh.
Dan leaves early the next day, we sleep until the evening. I play the £300 side event, dave goes out drinking, dan plays his day 2. The 300 goes a little better than the others, I'm playing better, but generally get ridiculously card dead and short, and end up busting standardly. Dan busts too, mincashing for 1k (we have 5% in each other for the main event so weee £50!). Dave comes back and there's generally more drinking and pokering going on. Me and dan take it in turns playing dave HU on the HU poker machine for £50/game, and end up busting him which is pretty funny (I don't think he won a single game) and so he obviously goes and withdraws £3k, throwing £1k on black as he walks past the roulette wheel. Drunken gambling for the win...? It comes in of course, because he runs good. He then makes a no-pit games rule, and if we ever see him playing a pit game ever again he has to give us both £100.
Anyway, long and the short of it, we sit at some 1/2nlhe, play stupidly and and annoy all the regulars, Dave loses after calling allin for several hundred with 53o, and leaves to get his train, me and dan play until 12pm the next day (18hours playing for me, 22 or something for him) I win a bunch, I think dan lost some. Next day me and dan turn up and play some 5/5 for a while, it goes very badly to start with for me, but I win a few hands and leave breakeven, and I get the 5am train back to bristol for some much needed sleep.
Think lost about £1.5k on the trip, but it was great fun. I also realised that I need to play more straightforwardly in tournaments, more live nlhe cash, and that I should never, ever play PLO.
Monday, 1 February 2010
Jan roundup
A spectacularly bad start. Fun! I'm pleased with a few things though, I've been putting in a lot of volume this week, and watching a lot of training videos. I also think I've been playing ok - not great, I definitely still have leaks, but it's getting better session by session. Also, I've had a pretty good mindset despite running horribly, haven't been getting down or wasting the end of sessions because I'm in a bad mood.
January
Sessions: 6
Hours: 52
Results: -$7.9k
I have an average buyin of ~$80 at the moment, so a nice 100 buyin downswing to start things off. Pretty much halved my online roll so I've been cutting things bit by bit, the amazingly soft ipoker 50r was the first to go, then 30rs on FT. Playing up to 100FOs and 20rs for now. Could use some rungood! Really don't want to have to drop down too drastically.
Going to play a few days this week, then off to nottingham for DTD, spending a few days in sheffield visiting people (and hopefully going crazy in a cash game or two) and then manchester for the UKIPT. Really looking forward to some live poker, hopefully I'll run a little better in real life.
Here's to a better Feb!
Friday, 22 January 2010
POKER
(People looking for my last India blog post should scroll down - it's just boring pokery stuff up here)
Soooo! It's time to grind. I have a huge motivation to play right now (5 months off will do that!) and have some stuff worked out. Firstly here are my goals for 2010, copied from pfu:
Online
Play 30hrs/week minimum. 4 online sessions+ preferably, but if lots of live play then slightly less is ok.
Get a coach. Maybe only 5-10hrs or so, will see.
Renew CR subscription.
Spend 5hrs/week minimum studying my game/watching CR vids/viewing HH replays etc.
Reach an av. buyin of $100.
Stop getting down/tilting during sessions that start badly, or when you bust from the biggest/deepest tournament you have left. It's stupid and damaging. EVERY TOURNAMENT MATTERS.
Live
Play every DTD deepstack/UKIPT 500 I can.
Sat into 2 other GUKPT/UKIPT events.
Make day 2 of a multiday event (would be a first...)
Sat into the WSOP ME (I'm 21! wooo)
General
Treat poker more like a job. Keep putting in decent volume whether doing well or badly, have a better mindset whilst playing.
Related ^^ Get a good routine going. Go for a jog before playing/make a nice meal/make sure I'm fresh and will play well.
Get the standard of my actual play near the level of my theoretical play. Sounds silly, but there's a fairly large gap. This may involve playing less tables online.
Make more than '09.
Keep up other activities (jujitsu, badminton), maybe take some language classes, guitar lessons. Poker isn't everything.
Mainly hoping to treat it all a little more seriously. Going to be playing a lot more live - with the monthly £330 deepstacks at DTD and £1-1.5k GUKPT and UKIPT tours (plus side events) there should be enough to keep me going! Plus I won an Irish Open seat again this year so I have that to look forward to in April.
Starting with a smaller roll of about $10-12k; withdrew a lot before leaving last year and it's needed for other things (rent/live bankroll/food etc)so just going to be grinding midstakes, and not buying into many sunday majors for a month or two, unless I bink something sizeable.
Played 2 sessions so far, 1 light sunday where I bricked everything (obviously) and just played awfully. I was ill and tired, shouldn't have played at all - lost $2.5k or so. Then I played a session yesterday which went much better, had 3 final tables including a small win, ending up about $1k up overall. Mainly was just playing well which made me happy, was worried after sunday I'd forgotten how to play! Made a few mistakes in key hands, including one horrible hand to bust in 4th in a 30r which paid 5.4k to first, so that was fairly costly - but I know what I did wrong, and feel confident I can play well and plug my leaks.
Double guarantees week on tilt means I'm going to play every day I think. I've always run good on tilt, this week would be a great time to continue doing so...
Soooo! It's time to grind. I have a huge motivation to play right now (5 months off will do that!) and have some stuff worked out. Firstly here are my goals for 2010, copied from pfu:
Online
Play 30hrs/week minimum. 4 online sessions+ preferably, but if lots of live play then slightly less is ok.
Get a coach. Maybe only 5-10hrs or so, will see.
Renew CR subscription.
Spend 5hrs/week minimum studying my game/watching CR vids/viewing HH replays etc.
Reach an av. buyin of $100.
Stop getting down/tilting during sessions that start badly, or when you bust from the biggest/deepest tournament you have left. It's stupid and damaging. EVERY TOURNAMENT MATTERS.
Live
Play every DTD deepstack/UKIPT 500 I can.
Sat into 2 other GUKPT/UKIPT events.
Make day 2 of a multiday event (would be a first...)
Sat into the WSOP ME (I'm 21! wooo)
General
Treat poker more like a job. Keep putting in decent volume whether doing well or badly, have a better mindset whilst playing.
Related ^^ Get a good routine going. Go for a jog before playing/make a nice meal/make sure I'm fresh and will play well.
Get the standard of my actual play near the level of my theoretical play. Sounds silly, but there's a fairly large gap. This may involve playing less tables online.
Make more than '09.
Keep up other activities (jujitsu, badminton), maybe take some language classes, guitar lessons. Poker isn't everything.
Mainly hoping to treat it all a little more seriously. Going to be playing a lot more live - with the monthly £330 deepstacks at DTD and £1-1.5k GUKPT and UKIPT tours (plus side events) there should be enough to keep me going! Plus I won an Irish Open seat again this year so I have that to look forward to in April.
Starting with a smaller roll of about $10-12k; withdrew a lot before leaving last year and it's needed for other things (rent/live bankroll/food etc)so just going to be grinding midstakes, and not buying into many sunday majors for a month or two, unless I bink something sizeable.
Played 2 sessions so far, 1 light sunday where I bricked everything (obviously) and just played awfully. I was ill and tired, shouldn't have played at all - lost $2.5k or so. Then I played a session yesterday which went much better, had 3 final tables including a small win, ending up about $1k up overall. Mainly was just playing well which made me happy, was worried after sunday I'd forgotten how to play! Made a few mistakes in key hands, including one horrible hand to bust in 4th in a 30r which paid 5.4k to first, so that was fairly costly - but I know what I did wrong, and feel confident I can play well and plug my leaks.
Double guarantees week on tilt means I'm going to play every day I think. I've always run good on tilt, this week would be a great time to continue doing so...
Friday, 15 January 2010
Dharamsala and onwards
It's pretty cold in Dharamsala, and for the first week or 2 I don't really meet anyone. I end up staying indoors a lot and begin feeling the miserable, wintery haze that I've come to India to avoid. Thankfully I meet some nice people at the Rogpa cafe - run by volunteers with proceeds helping to support Tibetan single mothers in Dharamsala. I end up helping out there a while, and teaching a little English to a local Tibetan girl. I also find a very nice cafe called the Heart Rock, run by permanently chilled-out local Ran, and end up spending most evenings there - it tends to attract a nice, if sometimes slightly odd, crowd. (For example, English trust-fund Bradley attendee with a craaazy posh English + Austrian accent who lived in Mongolia with nomadic horsemen for 9 months and was prone to extreme and spontaneous mood swings. Or the Indian guy who danced his socks off on his own in the corner all night, often impersonating animals. His 'spider' dance was my favourite)
After a month or so of not doing much but having a nice time, I head to Amritsar with quiet-but-lovely American couple Lexi and Chris. The main attraction here is The Golden Temple, Sikhism's most impressive and significant Gudwara. Apart from the beauty and elegance of the temple itself, the sense of community is astounding. The free kitchen, open to all, feeds upwards of 60,000 a day. No restrictions on religions, race, class, gender. Come in, sit down, eat. And the attitude of it all is something that touches me - it's not a big significant thing to help out. You come in, wash a few dishes if you want, leave. Like it's something normal, not out of the ordinary (there's a lot of self-righteous back-patting in the volunteering community) it all makes me feel a little more positive about the human condition. Plus they have a chipati machine that makes 24,000/hour - WAY COOL!
We also head to the Pakistan-India border for the closing ceremony. At first they get all the girls up and dancing to some bangra, amid loud, patriotic chanting.
Next, the guards stamp around aggressively, looking hard. It's a strange atmosphere, like a sports game; good-natured competition. But the tension between the two countries is far greater than that, and I find it a little odd. It's pretty fun though!
After the few days there, the Americans and I go our separate ways. I have to go back to Mcleod Ganj - I need to think about my bike. I'd decided to sell the bike on reaching Mcleod, but moping about followed by having fun has lead to me conveniently forgetting about it. I put up a few posters here and there, and get some responses. The 2nd guy I show it to is a friendly Austrian and he buys it after having a ride around. There are a few problems over the next few days, but a trip to the mechanic sorts it out (30rupees! 37p for an hour long once over of a motorbike - I love India!). Hopefully he's somewhere on the road on the way sown south - he was planning to go the whole length of the Subcontinent, arriving in Kerala. Good luck to him...
After selling it I'm aware of a massive release of tension - the bike had been keeping me there somewhat. I'm freeee! Some other awesome people I've met, Leo and Sophie, are heading to Jaisalmer for a camel safari over Christmas. Yes please! Sophie's already there with her friend Orion, so me and Leo start the long journey from northern Himachal Pradesh to western Rajasthan.
The camel safari is great to start with. I mean, the novelty of riding a camel is enough! But after an hour or two I start feeling very sick. I end up walking behind, and start throwing up/going to the toilet frequently. The group is in front out of sight by this point, and the guy with my camel has gotten impatient and walked on too. Suddenly I find myself totally alone, in a desert in the midday heat, delirious with illness in a fair amount of pain. Then I realise I don't know which way I'm going. I spend a few minutes looking around, and decide on the most likely direction - thankfully it was. Could've been interesting otherwise...
I end up getting a lift back from the camp that night, although not without seeing an awesome sunset:
and a shooting star, that broke off into TWO MORE SHOOTING STARS! So that made me feel a little better. I spend most of christmas day in bed. In fact the only xmas reference is one man who wishes me Merry Christmas, but then tries to sell me bedsheets.
After Leo, Sophie and Orion return from the safari, we head to Bikaner, mainly to see the rat temple. If one runs over your feet it's good luck!
After that everyone heads off in different directions - I go to Jodpur. It's a lovely place, lots of tiny winding streets and a nice atmosphere. I stay in a tent on the roof of a guest house. A lovely view to wake up to in the morning:
View from the fort:
Next is Udaipur, 'the Venice of India'. Another nice town, and some fantastic scenery from the many rooftop restaurants. The palace was used in the Bond film 'Octopussy' and is suitably grand - you get a nice view of it on a boat ride of the lake. I do a cookery course here too, so I can now make all sorts of tasty indian food! In theory at least...
Next stop on the Rajasthan tour is Bundi, a small, sleepy, rural town. The palace overlooking the town is huge, dilapidated, and labyrinthine. I spend a while tottering up broken steps and peering through dark alleys - it's so refreshing coming from the UK where everything that could possibly be seen as dangerous or even just broken or dirty is closed off. I see some local Indians walking along ridiculously high castle walls like stepping stones. My last day here is the Bundi Kite Festival - a day where everyone flies kites on the their roofs. It's really really difficult! I lose about a dozen kites and cut my hand several times, although towards the end of the day I can keep the bloody thing in the air for a few minutes at least.
That evening I leave for Agra and the Taj Mahal. I had some reservations about going, but everyone I spoke to said yes, it's dirty, smelly, noisy, there's tons of obnoxious tourists and shameless touts, but you simply have to do it, the Taj is worth it. And I'm glad I did.
Finally it was back to Delhi. As with most people I was a little phased by Delhi, but I find it totally normal now, and have a good look around, before catching my flight HOME.
Which is where am I now. Everything's so quiet! Where are the cows? The buffalo? The people peeing in the gutters, the rickshaws, the noise, the sewage, the rubbish, the people asking me questions? The awesome street food and stalls crammed together like jigsaws? The saris and shawls, the dogs and dhabas? I'm going to miss it all.
...though some things more than others!
After a month or so of not doing much but having a nice time, I head to Amritsar with quiet-but-lovely American couple Lexi and Chris. The main attraction here is The Golden Temple, Sikhism's most impressive and significant Gudwara. Apart from the beauty and elegance of the temple itself, the sense of community is astounding. The free kitchen, open to all, feeds upwards of 60,000 a day. No restrictions on religions, race, class, gender. Come in, sit down, eat. And the attitude of it all is something that touches me - it's not a big significant thing to help out. You come in, wash a few dishes if you want, leave. Like it's something normal, not out of the ordinary (there's a lot of self-righteous back-patting in the volunteering community) it all makes me feel a little more positive about the human condition. Plus they have a chipati machine that makes 24,000/hour - WAY COOL!
We also head to the Pakistan-India border for the closing ceremony. At first they get all the girls up and dancing to some bangra, amid loud, patriotic chanting.
Next, the guards stamp around aggressively, looking hard. It's a strange atmosphere, like a sports game; good-natured competition. But the tension between the two countries is far greater than that, and I find it a little odd. It's pretty fun though!
After the few days there, the Americans and I go our separate ways. I have to go back to Mcleod Ganj - I need to think about my bike. I'd decided to sell the bike on reaching Mcleod, but moping about followed by having fun has lead to me conveniently forgetting about it. I put up a few posters here and there, and get some responses. The 2nd guy I show it to is a friendly Austrian and he buys it after having a ride around. There are a few problems over the next few days, but a trip to the mechanic sorts it out (30rupees! 37p for an hour long once over of a motorbike - I love India!). Hopefully he's somewhere on the road on the way sown south - he was planning to go the whole length of the Subcontinent, arriving in Kerala. Good luck to him...
After selling it I'm aware of a massive release of tension - the bike had been keeping me there somewhat. I'm freeee! Some other awesome people I've met, Leo and Sophie, are heading to Jaisalmer for a camel safari over Christmas. Yes please! Sophie's already there with her friend Orion, so me and Leo start the long journey from northern Himachal Pradesh to western Rajasthan.
The camel safari is great to start with. I mean, the novelty of riding a camel is enough! But after an hour or two I start feeling very sick. I end up walking behind, and start throwing up/going to the toilet frequently. The group is in front out of sight by this point, and the guy with my camel has gotten impatient and walked on too. Suddenly I find myself totally alone, in a desert in the midday heat, delirious with illness in a fair amount of pain. Then I realise I don't know which way I'm going. I spend a few minutes looking around, and decide on the most likely direction - thankfully it was. Could've been interesting otherwise...
I end up getting a lift back from the camp that night, although not without seeing an awesome sunset:
and a shooting star, that broke off into TWO MORE SHOOTING STARS! So that made me feel a little better. I spend most of christmas day in bed. In fact the only xmas reference is one man who wishes me Merry Christmas, but then tries to sell me bedsheets.
After Leo, Sophie and Orion return from the safari, we head to Bikaner, mainly to see the rat temple. If one runs over your feet it's good luck!
After that everyone heads off in different directions - I go to Jodpur. It's a lovely place, lots of tiny winding streets and a nice atmosphere. I stay in a tent on the roof of a guest house. A lovely view to wake up to in the morning:
View from the fort:
Next is Udaipur, 'the Venice of India'. Another nice town, and some fantastic scenery from the many rooftop restaurants. The palace was used in the Bond film 'Octopussy' and is suitably grand - you get a nice view of it on a boat ride of the lake. I do a cookery course here too, so I can now make all sorts of tasty indian food! In theory at least...
Next stop on the Rajasthan tour is Bundi, a small, sleepy, rural town. The palace overlooking the town is huge, dilapidated, and labyrinthine. I spend a while tottering up broken steps and peering through dark alleys - it's so refreshing coming from the UK where everything that could possibly be seen as dangerous or even just broken or dirty is closed off. I see some local Indians walking along ridiculously high castle walls like stepping stones. My last day here is the Bundi Kite Festival - a day where everyone flies kites on the their roofs. It's really really difficult! I lose about a dozen kites and cut my hand several times, although towards the end of the day I can keep the bloody thing in the air for a few minutes at least.
That evening I leave for Agra and the Taj Mahal. I had some reservations about going, but everyone I spoke to said yes, it's dirty, smelly, noisy, there's tons of obnoxious tourists and shameless touts, but you simply have to do it, the Taj is worth it. And I'm glad I did.
Finally it was back to Delhi. As with most people I was a little phased by Delhi, but I find it totally normal now, and have a good look around, before catching my flight HOME.
Which is where am I now. Everything's so quiet! Where are the cows? The buffalo? The people peeing in the gutters, the rickshaws, the noise, the sewage, the rubbish, the people asking me questions? The awesome street food and stalls crammed together like jigsaws? The saris and shawls, the dogs and dhabas? I'm going to miss it all.
...though some things more than others!
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