Cheesies poker blog

2011 roundup, 2012 plans!

2011-12-28T15:27:00.001-08:00

Soooo the end of the year. A time to look back, reflect, ruminate, and to look ahead, plan, imagine.

TO DREAM.

Or to change the background colour of your blog, either's good. Anyway, first lets look at the pokers.

-> Online results:

So no complaints at all there, other than at myself for being such a lazy bastard. I obviously don't get to see anywhere near all of that given that I was backed for most of the year and had to clear Vegas live makeup, but pretty pleased I can pretend I won 6-figures! Some pretty silly swings in there, but the upswing is the most noticeable which is the way it should be :) Other notables include two triple crowns, (one of which I won in a single session!) and cold 4bet/calling off with K9o in a $5k. Wups.

-> 2011 was definitely the year I started playing live tho so a quick breakdown:

- Bricked 20-25 $1k+ events in a row including vegas and about 8 ept/wpt tours
- Online cleared vegas MU and then won a €1k side event in Prague which cleared the euro makeup
- Won money in vegas cash games
- Got backed for live cash, lost money in euro cash games

So fairly meh, lost money overall but some deep runs towards the end of the year which is a much needed confidence boost. Definitely looking forward to more live next year, when you're playing well it's just so immediate and fun. Nothing like stacking piles of chips to make you smile!

All in all, I think poker can be counted as a moderate, lazy success.

Outside of poker things get a bit more murky.
-> Didn't get to any festivals this year which I'm very disappointed about, been very lax with music and writing. Did a little travelling around Europe and America which was great. Creative and cultural stuff a mild fail.

-> Diet, exercise and sleep have all been very varied, 'lived' in about 6 different friends' or parents' houses for a few weeks/months at a time, and haven't even slightly settled or made clear ties anywhere. Attempts to have some sort of routine or stability also a fail.

-> I was actually debating whether to include this due to the typical reception of the subject but I firmly believe mental health should be regarded in the same way as physical health in terms of how it's discussed and perceived, and if I'd been in a car crash I'd write about it so fuck it. If I'm judged or avoided or whatever because of it at least then I'll have a legitimate reason to label someone a twat rather than just vaguely assume they are like I usually do. So:

Worst has been the continuing deterioration of my mental health despite concerted efforts to improve. It's heading towards being unmanageable at this point and am pretty apprehensive about this for next year, especially since I've decided to spend the whole winter (which is always when I'm at my worst) in the UK, something I've not done in a few years. Spent half the winter here early this year and it was staggeringly unpleasant, so might not be the best idea... Having said this I'm a lot more aware of what's going on now, and have the next 6 months fairly well planned which should be good for general stability. Looking into various options regarding treatment, none of which are particularly encouraging, but going to try anything I can obviously - don't really have much choice.

The year to come:

-> Moving into a flat in Leeds for the first six months of next year with Monsieurs Dan Morgan and Luke Fields. Really looking forward to this, going to put in a lot more volume hopefully, since both Dan and Luke are very well-behaved grinders and encouragement and shame are a powerful combination! Also going to sort out some kind of part time job or volunteering position, something completely separate from poker that will help me unwind. Dan and I are pretty evenly matched at badminton so I foresee/will enforce lots of playing (also saw in lildave's blog him and Perrins plan to play - badminton league?!) and have friends in Leeds and Sheffield, so generally feeling very positive about it all.

Pretty funny sweat as to whether Luke would have the money to pay for the rent, was looking like we might need to find a new third person - always knew the sweat would end in some ridiculous way and sure enough he just gets third in the Sunday Million for $110k on the first sunday in months he had 100% of his action about a week before he has to send the rent money. Standard LF. You'd better be buying the milkybars Mr Magic!

-> Heading to Vegas after Leeds and cashing in a WSOP event is definitely a goal. Plan to do a bit more rambling around America too, but nothing nailed down.

-> My bank balance violently disagrees with the graph at the top, and whilst I've enjoyed living my life in an extremely unsustainable way I've decided I need to be less of an idiot. With that in mind I'm aiming to spend slightly less in general life expenses, and certainly going to spend a lot less in Vegas (despite being there longer).

That's about it, nothing else planned. 2012's going to be an interesting one... let's see what happens. Typed 'lets see' into google images to finish with some stupid picture about THE FUTURE but the first that came up is a stupid picture about PANDAS and is much better:

Hilariously delayed Californian rambles

2011-10-23T07:10:00.001-07:00

No, not dead. Just lazy. However I've finally found the energy to move my fingers a little bit and click things, so here goes!

Towards the end of my stay in Vegas I get an email from Tyler, who some of you may remember from some of my India blogs, for example when I thought he'd been eaten by bears. It was a long, ranty, persuasive email full lists of amazing things to do and see, and waving off my excuses by saying things like 'I see here a bad case of the "next time i travel across the world to the place that im already at" mentality'. I decide he's totally right and not at least seeing a bit of the actual USA whilst I'm there is pretty stupid. So, I cancel my flight and Tyler makes the casual 2,000km drive from Michigan to Vegas to meet me at The Bellagio. It's bizarre seeing someone again that you link in your mind to one particular time and place but in a totally different setting - India and Vegas are pretty much polar opposites - but also really nice. Tyler's very easy to get along with (even if I'm not!) so we're off straight away, talking crap and playing cards. We plan to spend a little time in Vegas to build up a roadtrip roll, which doesn't entirely go to plan, but we need to head to San Francisco to meet his friend Caspian (best name ever) and his cousin Garrett. As the valet brings round his dilapidated but completely indestructible Volvo estate to the front of the Vdara, stuffed to overflowing with seemingly everything he owns, I get that tingle - you just know what's going to happen is totally unpredictable and new; that sense of adventure is undeniable!

Tyler points to one of the many dents and yells to the valet 'What the hell did you do to my car!?' and then cracks up. It's going to be a gooood ride - time to hit the road.

Since I can't drive (much to his amusement) Tyler is on driving duties for the whole trip - which is an impressive feat since we end up travelling for thousands of miles more - and is a great driver, although being in his car can be... exciting! Shall we say. He has a habit of ignoring traffic laws he disagrees with ('look at all these stupid-ass people waiting for an opening! pfft'), is usually seen rolling a joint on the map that he's also using to navigate whilst choosing the music on his ipod and cruising at 75, and occasionally drifts onto the hard-shoulder if he needs to complete a particularly awesome air-mandolin solo.

Multiple complaints about the mixture of my feet, sandals and infrequent washing - out they go!

On one memorable occasion, we're driving along, and we see smoke. Lots of forest fires in these parts, so we look around for it. Gets steadily worse to the point that my eyes are watering and we can't see very well, so we wind up the windows. That makes it worse. It starts to dawn on us...
'Dude, I think my car's on fire.'
'You need to pull over. Right now.'
We swerve to the hard shoulder and jump out, realising how bad the smoke is - both of us half-expecting the car to explode. After a few minutes of smouldering, Tyler approaches is cautiously and then starts laughing - a butt has landed on some paper and caught fire, no engine explosions for us.

So, we manage to get to San Francisco in one piece! Caspian is the perfect host - kind and generous and shows us great places in San Francisco, introduces us to lovely people, and gets us free booze. What more could you wish for?

She's also the daughter of the owners of California's biggest family-run winery up in Sonoma - the quintessential small and beautiful American town, exactly how I'd imagined it. The farmer's market, where I try my first corn dog:

(seriously what the hell america?! weirdest food ever)

We meet up with Garrett who's flown in from Indiana. He's 19, smart and eager to see all he can - he'd been to one big city before San Francisco. His sense of wonderment is infectious! We see a bit more of the city before we go, including The Castro (the gay district - go watch 'Milk') and Haight-Ashbury (birth of the 60's!) where we talk bollocks with people at the International cafe, I'm sold a Ben and Jerry's by a red-eyed, sleepy pair of ice cream experts, and see this lady:

Haight-Ashbury is actually a little depressing and corporate, lots of trinket shops selling tie-dye headbands and t-shirts with pot leaves on them. Still, was obviously still a fun place to hang around!

With some reluctance we decide we should hit the road, Garrett's time is limited and he wants to see some trees! Well we all do. We set off up the coast towards the Redwood National Park, stopping off in Sonoma to watch The Big Lebowski on a big screen at the winery. Perfect.

One more stop along the way is a hot-springs retreat, with pools, yoga and meditation classes, music shows, etc. The pools are clothing-optional(!), so I do the whole take-your-clothes-off-and-bathe-with-a-bunch-of-strangers thing, which is ok I guess. Seems to be more about the nudity than the hot springs... also the creepy 50yr old men that stretch and sigh and whisper sweet nothings as they float past really aren't conducive to the relaxing the pools are supposed to be good for, so not sold on the whole deal personally! Still, the place itself is beautiful; I'm camped in a totally secluded spot next to a stream, tons of wildlife and peace.

My memory of exactly where we went and which forest was which is a little hazy by now, so it'll just be general impressions and pictures. Our daily routine when going from place to place would usually be: get woken up by a campsite owner (or police officer) at 6am telling us to move, pile our stuff into the car and drive with frequent stops and detours for exploring and mini-hikes during the day.

Mild confusion and increasing frustration follows as we realise we don't know where we're going or will sleep, we drive for hours into the night trying to find a campsite with a space until Tyler snaps and parks off the edge of a dual carriageway next to a blind corner and we set up camp - and repeat. It's all good fun and I do enjoy it, but it does result in very little sleep and as anyone who knows me is aware: I need lots. I think Tyler gets a little frustrated at my apparent lack of enthousiasm, but it really is just a lack of energy - I can't keep up with his endless reserves! Looking back I definitely regret not making the most of it, but when I get into one of my exhausted states there really isn't much I can do, I become zombified. My brain is replaced by cotton wool and I just float with the clouds - usually when I get like this I just cancel everything and hole myself up in my room for a week/month but obviously this isn't really an option here. As I say, I do have a great time, I just hope Tyler doesn't think me ungrateful!

We do find some nice campsites along the way too where I can recuperate:

Our own stream:

We end up in Yosemite National Park, Caspian joins us and we do our first proper walk. This was just before Tyler nearly stepped on a lethal snake:

Tons of stuff happened on the way, met enumerable interesting people and saw dozens of amazing places, but far too many to recount, so I think I'll just leave you with some pictures of the trees. There is a true sense of awe walking around the forests here, such stillness and a deep silence with these natural towers all around. Most striking to me were the fallen trees; you could see where they had snapped and broken, see how they'd fallen - it was like each one told a little story. Anyway, enough rambles - they speak for themselves.

I shall be coming back.

I did not win the World Series of Poker Main Event.

2011-08-24T14:38:00.001-07:00

Well it wouldn't be the Series without the obligatory post-Vegas roundup.

The place:

Head asplode. Seriously what the hell is this place and who dreamt it up? Maybe nightmared it up. It's a huge, sinister, adult Disneyland with more neon, degeneracy and strippers than you can imagine. It's vile. Occasionally it was so weirdly, wildly surreal that it appealed to my sense of humour (enormous singing frog at the Wynn, canal complete with gondolas and men in stripey tops on the 2nd floor of the Venetian, etc).

From the drunken frat boys to the dozen mexicans per block soliciting prostitutes, though, it really wasn't me at all. It's a place that really brings out the worst in people, and for someone who pretty much only sees the worst in people anyway, it's not ideal.

Right! After that somber start here's the good stuff:

The poker:

Went 0 for 9 in tournaments, and lasted a disappointing 5 hours in the Main Event. Bleh. Every event I played was soft though with the exception of the $5k 6max, and I felt like I held my own, and the other events just blew my mind. Think $5 mtt on ipoker. This was definitely the most live poker I've played and I was fairly happy, but I do need to watch the occasional blowup hand. Basically I need to remember that everyone always has it.

Cash went great, winning about $19k mostly at 5/10. During the series there's loads of games going and very few of them were tough - I think I only requested two table changes the whole time. I ran well for sure, and was experimenting with an extremely laggy style which was a lot of fun, but it really felt like printing money. You can definitely play a hilarious number of hands in most live games, although perhaps a few less than I did, I indulged in a little spewing...

Everything else:

The quality of life I had here was incredible. Swishy hotels, lounging by various pools, icy cocktails.

Margaritas and blackjack in the pool!

Inside the hotels and casinos were pretty amazing too, lots of extravagance and luxury. Or ridiculousness.

And the food! Ah, the food. Best meals were Alize's at the top of the palms (amazing view, michelin star food), the Stratosphere (revolving restaurant approximately 27 miles in the sky) and Prime at Bellagio, excellent food with a view of the Bellagio fountains. Of course it all cost an absolute fortune, and with the trip afterwards (blog to come) I probably ended up breaking about even on the trip, but the things I spent money on were all things I like. I think I only ended up paying for about 4 meals in the end - sounds like I was lucky at credit card roulette given that we ate out at least once a night, but one of the meals I paid for was $2.2k (!) so I think I paid my share in the end... thanks to Dan for paying for most of my others though :)

Helicopter ride to the Grand Canyon was amazing, first time in a helicopter - definitely a fun way to travel!

Despite my moan at the beginning it was a really fun trip. If it weren't for the poker I doubt I'd go there again, but as it is I'll almost certainly be back next year. And to be honest, whilst there are definitely a lot of things I'm not looking forward to, a month of decadence and easy poker actually sounds pretty good.

Vegas Update

2011-07-02T18:20:00.000-07:00

Still a pile of bricks on the tournament front. Made my first day 2, and in the $5k triple chance too, but sadly bust about 20 mins in after QQ < KT. Probably just flop 3 tens, why not.

Thankfully cash has been going very well, I'm up about $8k at 2/5 and 5/10 over 8 sessions. The games are mostly very good I've been running well too - hoping it continues.

In non-poker news I went to Electric Daisy Carnival, the world's biggest dance festival, which was suitably electric. A hundred thousand people dancing they're socks off, very good fun. Also went for a meal at the rotating Top of the World restaurant at the Stratosphere with Dan, Luke and Gavin, and Dave and Becca who'd just flown in, which was excellent. Lovely food and an incredible view.

Off for a meal/night out for Gavz' birthday now, day off tomorrow. A few small events next week and then The Main Event begins! Haven't decided which day I'm playing yet, but looking forward to a long, long tournament grind...

June/wales/vegas

2011-06-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

So a few days into June I carried on my good run winning the Party Highroller for $27k and change, and then last week I won a $12k Main Event package. I was planning on heading to Vegas anyway for the series, but it's always nice to have the seat locked up before going.

Barely played apart from those two sessions, mainly doing things like packing and spending time with uni friends who've finished their exams. Went on a lovely holiday to a cottage my grandparents own in Wales with some chums

where we did lots of this

ate a fair amount of this

and I did this

which was shortly followed by this

(thanks to ali for the pics!)

I arrived in Vegas on wednesday, jet lagged and mightily confused by how bizarre this place is. I'll do a full Vegas blog after I get back, but it's pretty mental.

I managed to mess up the bank wire to the Rio, so I'm here with basically no money, a tiiiny tactical error there. Managed to borrow some/had a bit of my own. So far I've played the $5k 6max series event which was pretty tough, played pretty well but couldn't win the flips and lost TT < AQ on 9TJ to bust. Yesterday was a $1.6k in the Venetian Deepstack series, which I played less well in (mainly just fudged one big hand, but it was pretty bad). The taxi queue at the Venetian was huge so I decided to play some cash with my last $600 and managed to spin it up to $2.4k meaning I could play the $1.5k series event today, though sadly just bust running kings into aces for heaps.

Probably will play some cash now and try to win enough for the $1k tomorrow...basically hoping a bank wire can get through soon - or I'll just have to hang on until Dave arrives with money.

Anyways, to the tables!

yaymay

2011-05-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

Ireland was fun, although kinda frustrating. Bust the main pretty quickly, won a bunch playing cash, lost a bunch playing cash (to Luke), had half the chips 4-handed in the Highroller event - came 4th, lost a bunch playing acey deucey (to Luke) and lost a bunch playing whist (also to Luke. BASTARD!)

I've played exactly once since coming back and that was yesterday; managed to finally do a win after months of near misses. Two wins actually, won the stars $8r 2x turbo for 7.8k (2nd time I've won it this year!) and then...

Bink! So that gets me out of makeup and pads the liferoll. May I think has been my best month ever in terms of results, although I don't get to see all of it by any means with the staking. Still, pretty fun to have a $50k month!

Dan Dave and Luke have been pestering me to go to vegas this year which I've been resisting until now mainly because of money issues, but I feel like I can head to the series for a few weeks and have enough left over for the rest of the year and winter travels if the series goes badly. Haven't 100% decided or looked at flights or anything, but the vague plan would be flying out on the ~20-25th, there's a dozen or so $1-3k events between the World Series and the Venetian Deepstack series, then play the MAIN EVENT, then fly back. Then head back in November for the final table...

Mayday mayday mayday!!

2011-05-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

So I had a pretty terrible stretch a few weeks back, taking shots at the new euro-only 100rs and things on stars which went horribly despite numerous near misses and ended up losing about 3/4 of my roll (bankroll management ftw!) so decided to get backed again by Dave.

Like what happened last time Dave started backing me I instantly had some nice results; 5th in 2 $162s on tilt and managed to bink a 4th in the $1.6k ante up SCOOP event which I satellited into, so those netted Dave and I about $12k each which was very welcome. Think I'm going to continue being backed for the foreseeable, I'm liking the idea of not worrying about having any money online at all, and just cashing out whenever I get above zero makeup! Of course it sucks when deep in makeup and I might change my mind, but now that I've got spending money to keep me ticking over (and enough for travelling this winter) I think it's best like this for now. Less pressure is good.

Tomorrow I'm heading to Cork with Luke and Dan for the UKIPT which will be great - events in Ireland are always great fun, lots of drinking and soft games. Got the live itch too so hoping I can do some work at the tables, although some big SCOOP events are overlapping, especially on the sunday for me so that will limit the amount of live games I play. Also big congrats to Luke for winning the FTOPS multi-entry brawl, and then degening it up at 25/50 HU PLO and just winning all the money. Just saw him finish a ~$120k+ session, so there should be some fun rails in Ireland too.

Anyways, next post will clearly be me detailing my UKIPT win and the SCOOP main event win that immediately followed. Please?

Monte Carlo and April

2011-04-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

So I'd meant to do a trip report of the 1k Monte Carlo event at DTD, but kinda didn't feel like writing it up after I bust... I'll put a few of the key hands for fun anyways.

200/400/50, tight lady opens UTG to 1k, UTG+1 flats, aggro young guy flats button, I flat SB with JJh, BB calls.

Flops: 3h 7h 9h,

checks around.

Turn 5o, I bet 3200, UTG+1 calls, button calls.

River 7. Check, check, button bets 10k, I call, UTG+1 calls.

I called the river pretty quickly, I'd planned to c/c almost always on blank rivers and c/reevaluate on less blank rivers. I'm not sure if this is spew though, button showed 55 and utg+1 showed AQhh, so I felt pretty silly. Might be one of those spots where I convince myself of all the draws button can have but he actually just always checks them behind because it's live and no one folds and he knows this.

1200/2400/300, 90k effec.
EP limps, MP limps, I limp T6dd in the CO, button limps, SB completes, BB checks.

Flop: 6h 8d Jd

Checks to me, I bet 8500. Button raises to 21 (and covers). Everyone folds, I make it 65, button tanks and shoves, I call.

Pre is definitely debateable... but I was bored and it's live and I can 'do stuff' post. Or just flop the world. Button was a fairly tight lady who I'd spent a lot of the 2 days playing with, she knew I was active but she could also mix it up a bit herself and I'd seen here make a multi-barrel bluff. She was also maybe the type to raise AJ here 'for info' and then fold to the shove so I was happy getting it in here. Of course I was fairly surprised when she opened...7h9h.

Turn Ah for the sweat...

River Ac.

1500/3000/300, 240k effec.

MP opens 7500, button flats, I make it 27000 from the BB with AKo and a very laggy image. MP flats, button folds.

Flop: Ac 5h 2h

I bet 33, MP goes 70, I shove, MP calls.

Villain is Wadey, a familiar face in the UK live poker scene, and though I don't have many hands against him I'm told that my line is absolutely fine/standard here , especially given my image at the time. Super sigh when he opens 55, then, and rockets to a huge chiplead with 40 left.

I sigh and wish everyone good luck, etc, and then go get drunk.

Online, April has been fairly similar to the last few months. Lots and lots of near misses (I'm restraining myself from a very prolonged rant here!), although not a great deal of volume. Stayed pretty well clear of the cash tables, though did do a post-sunday spinup from a loose $200 on ipoker to $7.2k in about 20 minutes... frankly I was due.

I'm now thinking of relearning sngs to reduce variance a bit and so I can put in shorter sessions, but my enthousiasm for them might easily disappear once I remember what grinding sngs is like...

March is the third month of the year in the Gregorian calendar, and one of the seven months which are 31 days long.

2011-03-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

Sooo March was a weird one. Put in about the same volume as February (ie I was lazy), didn't play great, had an absolute shedload of 10-18ths in tournaments with $15k+ to 1st, and tilted off $4k playing cash games. That last one is by far the worst; haven't touched online cash games in maybe 2 years (for very good and self-apparent reasons!) and pretty much promised myself I wouldn't ever again, unless it was in some learning to play properly/grinding out lowstakes/etc capacity. So a disappointing lapse.

Despite all of the above I managed to win a fair amount - not entirely sure how much as there's some discrepancies in my spreadsheet and real-life balances but pretty sure I made back roughly what I lost in February - about $9k, maybe a little less. So yeah, I feel like I had a pretty terrible month but clearly I didn't!

Still, not feeling particularly motivated at the moment. Wish there was something I was motivated by - time is crawling at the moment, each day feels like a week and I'm just permanently exhausted.

Guess I've been doing quite a lot of JuJitsu recently which has been good and meant I've stayed active, and I got my orange belt a week or two back. Also I've just uploaded 50 of the 130GB of music I got from Neil who I met in Diu. Was frankly a bit intimidated by that much new music but finally gotten around to it so for the foreseeable I'll be busy discovering gems!

Anyways I'm rambling, so instead here is a video of a pigeon on a train.

The Cheesies Recession - February Roundup

2011-03-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

Sooo a less good month. If I could work out how to create reliable graphs on HEM 2011 would look something like this:

Dropped about $9k online which sucks, didn't put in enough volume (about 2/3 of January) and lots of the sessions were short or tilty, often both. I did end the month up a few £k live though, so not too disastrous.

More worrying is that I've just generally been feeling sporadically awful recently, winter's starting to get to me I think. Felt fine all of January but had some pretty rough days last month, and they definitely affected at least some of the sessions I played. Hopefully the start of Spring will help and I'll get back into a decent routine, not really feeling it at the moment though. Doing better than previous winters in some ways which is a positive I guess, although drinking/smoking quite a lot. Self-medication for the lose? I think coming back from travelling for Christmas might be something I have to reconsider this year.

Anyways, here's to a sunny March!

(yes I know it's green, but its also an ace picture)

UKIPT Nottingham trip report

2011-02-13T06:35:00.000-08:00

Well I was planning to note down interesting hands throughout the tournament and give a little analysis on them and things, but frankly it was a dull, dull 7 hours of slow, steady declination before getting coolered. Bah.

However, I ended up playing a fair amount of £2/5 cash where there were some fun hands and I did pretty well, so cash hands it is! First a pretty standard one:

Hand 1: Effective stacks ~£1k.
I raise to 15 in MP2 with AxKd
1 call
CO 3bets to 55
I 4bet to ~155
1 fold
CO calls

Pot ~325, Flop 2d 8d 9d

I bet 215, CO tankshoves for ~800, I call.

Turn As, River 3h.

A pretty standard hand all round - would've sucked to get freerolled by AdKx, but he has queens and jacks lots here. Occasionally I have less outs when he has AA/KK but he seemed genuinely nervous throughout the hand and I didn't feel like he was trapping.

CO opens QQ no diamond. Always nice to win £2k flips!

Hand 2: Effective stacks £1k.
Habitual limper in MP limps, I make it 25 OTB with J9hh.
SB makes it 75, I peel.

Pot ~160, flop 8h Th 2x.

He leads 50, I raise to 125, he quickly shoves, I call.

Turn 5x.

River 9x.

He'd been eyeing me up for the last hour or so; the deck had been smashing me in the face so I'd been doing lots of raising/getting involved a lot and I think he expected me to get out of line a decent amount. Having said that, he was middle-aged and pretty snug - I don't think he was going to get out of line himself much, so I expected his 3bet to be fairly strong. Still, I have position with a hand that flops well and we're deep, and the timing of his 3bet suggested weighting towards AK/AQ. Not sure if the peel is spewy though... When he leads the flop tiny I really felt like he was trying to induce a raise from me. Although I'm never folding, I still want to get the last bet in if I can, and with these stacks I never have fold equity if I raise normally and he 3bets the flop (he's usually shoving if I make it like 200 anyway), which is why I went for the tiny raise. I was expecting him to 3bet, and was hoping I could get him to make it 300 or something, and then talk himself into folding queens when I shove. When he just jams it's kinda sigh, but mainly because I want to avoid another 2k flip. I can't fold though.

'One pair' I say.

He pauses for a few seconds. 'One pair?'

Another 5 second pause. I start to get annoyed thinking he's nitrolling me with queens/trying to get me to show my hand. 'One pair is good'.

I blink and table my hand, and he sighs and leaves his seat. Think I see the Kh as he mucks his cards.

Assuming he had AKhh I was in the worst shape possible and I'm still 42%, and flipping vs overpairs so a standard call.

Hand 3: Effective stacks ~£1.2k
I open QcKo in MP to 20
Folds to tilting old guy who defends his BB.

Pot ~40, Flop Qd 8c 2c

BB checks, I bet 35, BB checkraises to 85, I call.

Pot ~210, Turn Kd.

BB checks, I bet 155, BB calls.

Pot ~520, River As.

BB checks, I think for a bit and bet 325. He quickly calls.

I think the closest street is the river as he can have A8/A2/AQ/JTcc but given my image and that he was tilty going for value is definitely best; he didn't seem in the mood to fold pairs to me in general, and AcXc turns up quite a lot. Also I'm assuming he leads the river with lots of the hands that beat me.

He mucks when I show my hand.

Hand 4: Effective stacks £1.5k.
Young aggressive guy opens CO to 15, I defend my BB with KcJc.

Pot ~30, Flop Ad Ks Ts.

I check, CO bets 25, I call.

Pot ~80, Turn Kd.

I check, CO bets 65, I call.

Pot ~210, River 5h.

I bet 155, he raises to 425, I tank and call.

Leading the river is pretty horrible by me. Standard is to check/call 3 streets vs this villain and I don't know why I didn't really, I vaguely thought that I can rep a lot of missed draws, but there really isn't anything in his range that can hero the river when I bet. Once he raised I came to my senses and realised he either folds or raises the river with nearly 100% of his range. I'd played with him for a long time the day before and he'd been very aggressive so I talked myself into thinking he can be bluffraising the river enough. Pretty sure he's not though, and although it's closer than it seems on paper (he's definitely bluffraising the river some %) the river's a fold. River was one big fail.

I lose to AK.

They're all the big hands I can remember. Don't think I played all that great, not well-versed at cash (and certainly not live cash) and there were a few spots where the money got to me - e.g nice light 4betting spots that I passed up because... well, betting TWO HUNDRED POUNDS or whatever is scary. But as long as I don't make any stupid mistakes other people tend to make me the money without me really needing to do anything fancy - there are a lot of soft spots in live cash games and I was definitely profitable whilst being full of leaks. Plus I ran good!

I ended up about £3k which is nice, although less after the tournament and expenses. I also had a TERRIBLE sunday online where I just went nuts and spewed everything. It was weird, the most severely tilted session I've had in years. So that's less good.

Nothing much planned for the rest of the month poker-wise. Going to carry on grinding online, aiming for jujitsu twice a week, hopefully some fun social things to make time go more quickly.

Sigh valentine's day. Beautiful, intelligent, tolerant, understanding girl to enter my life please?

Amsterdam/January roundup

2011-01-27T20:11:00.000-08:00

So after a good start to 2011 I ended up heading to Amsterdam for a few days at the end of the month with Dan and Luke. Had a great time and it seems like an amazing capital city - definitely want to come back. We were staying at a very swish place called the 'Fashion Hotel'. You know when the first thing you see as you walk in are manikins with lampshades on their heads that its going to be arty! Really nice rooms, probably the nicest hotel I've stayed at.

I did pretty well out of the trip, winning ~€800 crushing the fishies dan and luke in various silly bets and card games (paaay!), won far more than my fair share of restaurant bill/cab fare flips and came 3rd in a live 100 euro 2nd chance tournament we played at the big Holland Casino in the centre for about 1600 euros. Highlight of the tournament was me live-misclick 3betting for like 10x pot for 1/2 my stack with 78s, siiiigh calling it off vs 2 shoves and getting there vs AJ and AT :D I also ran real good online, winnning an $82 hyperturbo for $4.5k and then...

ending up in a 5-figure trip win. weeeee! Didn't actually spend much time playing though, was cool just relaxing/going on the brewery tour/eating great (and usually free!) food. Dan also had a pretty huge sweat as he had 5% of British sicko James Keys in the Aussie Millions who ended up coming second for ~$1.2million, winning the luckbox nearly $60k for doing absolutely nothing. Aside from polishing his golden halo occasionally.

I managed a pretty impressive fail regarding the flights - booked my first return to come back 3 days late (I thought it was february. And so only 28 days long. And so I then booked my flight to come back ON FEBRUARY THE FIRST. ...I know, I know). Second flight I booked was in the morning. Two alarms? No good. Woke an hour before my plane was leaving, sigh.

It resulted in me playing the session in which that win ^^^ happened though, so maybe it was a good thing.

Anyways, January as a whole ended up being pretty huge for me considering where I was at the beginning of the year: +$23k, minus the money to dave to get out of makeup, but the rest goes to padding the roll. Pleased with my online volume; put in over 800 mtts with a $48 average buyin at a 51% roi which is pretty sweet, if I can keep those figures anything like that next month I'll be happy! Still playing kinda rusty but hoping to plug some leaks over the next month, and hopefully withdrawing some money for bills...

UKIPT nottingham starting on the 11th, looking forward to some live silliness!

Good beginnings...

2011-01-09T17:45:00.001-08:00

Soooo a good start to the year. Dropping down to low-midstakes has began well, the play is hilarious and I am 100% sure I can grind out a decent winrate. I'm out of makeup thanks to my first 3 sessions which ended up +1.8, +800 and +4k, and had my first session on my own coin tonight...

chooo chooooo!

So that doubles my online roll which is an EXTREMELY timely addition. Not too worried about having to drop down further now, though will probably continue playing daytime sessions which tends to mean an average buyin of ~$50 but I'm happy playing smaller stuff, for now anyways. Dave, my backer previously, has agreed to stake me in some of the sunday majors so I'll get my weekly fill of high stakes action! :)

Was at DTD in nottingham for their monthly £336 deepstack this weekend - probably made it as far as I ever have, busting a few levels before the end of day 1 with QQ into KK for a large number of chips. Pleased with my play though, was down to 3k early on and ground it up well to over 40 with few showdowns. Still, bored with losing tons of money playing live; also managed to lose £250 in 6 hands on the cash tables (all standard, nothing interesting) and whilst my online roll is looking healthier, since looking at my real-life finances I've realised I can't really afford to spend nearly £700 on a speculative weekend so this will be my last live event until I'm a bit more robusto or I win a seat to something.

...I say this but I'm definitely playing the Nottingham leg of the UKIPT tour at
the beginning of next month. It'll be the first Team Superbink (me, Luke Fields, Dave Burn (Mrblond blog) and Dan Morgan (Captain Calldown blog)) outing in a while - pretty sure we're all going to final table.

Anyhoo, lets hope the rungood continues!

Well thank god that's over.

2010-12-29T07:59:00.001-08:00

Yay, 2010 is nearly finished! Some of it was nice, but pokerwise it was bloody awful. Here's to a super awesome rungood hotstreak boomswitch of epic proportions all throughout 2011.

Needless to say the DTD £1k went badly. Had a pretty tough table of quite a few young internet guys who I knew or recognised and things just generally didn't go well. Also dumped £350 on a side event which I went vaguely deep in. It was a 6-max and I assumed it'd be teeming with internet kids eager to light-5bet the crap out of each other but it was actually incredibly soft. Can't do much about running kings into aces and then bricking 12 outs though.

SO. 2011 goals/resolutiony things:

- Get out of makeup, drop down and play small-midstakes (and hopefully upwards) on my own coin.
- Actually put some decent volume in. Aiming for 4-5 days/week average, and slightly longer sessions.
- Totally change my routine and play a 9am-6pm style day (!) except for weekends. This should help my general routine, sleeping patterns, attitude towards play, reduce variance due to smaller field sizes and it'll be more healthy socially.
- Exercise every day before showers. More activities, get back into jujitsu.
- Keep playing live events on a similar scale to last year, but play less terribly.
- Make some money.

Good luck at the tables everyone!

Gujarat, bits and bobs

2010-12-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

So, I've come to the conclusion that 7,000 steps is quite a lot of steps. Neil and I's first stop was Junagadh where we climbed to the famous temples on top of a big hill. My calves hurt thanks to the same 7,000 steps on the way down (why isn't there ever a zip-wire down from these places?) but it was well worth it.

In other news, I crashed into a water buffalo. On the bumpy, dusty road to Simbor - a tiny village near Diu with a pristine beach, and friendly welcoming garamboard players, a buffalo burst out of the bushes, narrowly missing Ivan and Tanika on the bike in front and straight into my path. Luckily we weren't going too quickly so the collision wasn't too major, but even so I went straight into its body and the bike and I fell. Glad we weren't traveling faster - they're huge beasts, pretty sure I would've come off worse. So that was exciting!

Next up on the Gujarat tour was Porbandar - birth place of Gandhi - which was nice, if unremarkable. I recently read his semi-autobiographical book and...it didn't endear him to me. Obviously he did some amazing things politically, but the book focuses on his spiritual and religious life and he does some stuff that's just... well ridiculous religious superstition with no basis or explanation. Some stuff that's painfully close to Jehovah's Witnesses type behaviour. As an example, he denies his son food (chicken soup and milk) that may save his life during severe illness against all the advice of the doctors, saying the God will take him if it's the right time (perhaps one of the most idiotic things its possible to say - why bother trying to cure an illness at all? In fact, why bother eating or sleeping - God'll see you right if you believe hard enough. ARGH!). Hypocritically, he takes milk himself later in his life in a fight against illness, fully aware he was breaking spiritual vows. He spends a long time talking about the virtue of practices like celibacy without actually explaining why they're good things, he just makes comments like 'and I came to realise how important living a simple life/being vegetarian/being celibate/practicing mystery god-worshiping act 'X' is to be closer to God'. Meh, the book just made me angry almost every time I picked it up, got about 3/4 of the way through and couldn't stomach the rest.

Now I'm in Bhuj, and lovely little city that sadly was devastated by an earthquake, killing 15,000 people - 10% of its inhabitants. Whilst the people are friendly and some of the buildings are impressive, it has an air of faded grace with crumbling ruins of the large mahals dotted around and rubbish collecting in huge quantities. Still, the city is on the mend and many of the temples may yet be returned to their former glory. The area around Bhuj is filled with smaller villages famous for their craftwork, so I hired a bike and zoomed around a few, the nicest being Mandvi where I spent some time on a lovely beach and finally got around to buying some Christmas presents...

Ramble time!

I struck a small girl in the face today. It was an accident, and it wasn't hard - I was just shrugging off her hand as she clung to my shirt and asked for money, but still hard not to feel guilty. I guess I'm writing about this because it reflects the wider guilt you feel repeatedly - daily - denying cute, skinny children money. And the guilt is why it works, and why they do it. Or, more accurately, why they're made to do it by the organisers of the local beggars who often starve or even mutilate the children to evoke sympathy and then pocket the money to buy a second car or a new watch.

And I suppose the reason I'm writing about that - zoom out again - is, well; India can be a hard country to be in. Because, for all its beauty, its rich and diverse cultural traditions and its good-natured people, India is a country that simply doesn't work. In the 60-odd years since independence from the British India has failed, and is continuing to fail (although of course the Brits involvement had and still has a lot to do with this). Personally I believe there isn't a country or political/organisational system that does 'work' (that I know of) but India is so far from even just getting by that seeing the chaos, the levels of poverty and misery or the standards of hygiene and infrastructure can be tough. I mean, half of the country's billion plus inhabitants are practically slaves - being born in India is a life sentence of servitude and often abuse for almost all women (example: '51% of Indian men say wife beating is justified, 54% women agree, especially when dinner is burned or they leave home without husband's permission' - this boggles my mind and pretty much makes me think we're all doomed). Then there are the lower castes, such as the 'untouchables' (so-called for a reason - literally not touched by other castes), who frequently have their rights and liberties taken away, despite the supposed abolishment of the caste system.

I could go on but I suppose the point is that whilst it has many positive qualities, India seems to present humanities' ugliness in a very stark way. The corruption and greed, the exploitation of the weak, desperate or unfortunate, the predation, the violence, the selfishness, the cruelty and the indifference to it all - it's all here, in spades.

As for why I'm writing about that, well, I guess just to let readers know its not all fun and games; only some of the time do you get to enjoy the delights of conjunctivitis or crashing into buffalo. The rest of the time it can get kinda heavy.

Well I fly back in a few days. Seems a shame to finish on a sombre tone so I'll add that I've had an awesome time! Almost entirely illness free, far easier socially, very little stress, lots of fun and adventure. Already semi-planning my trip back here next year; going to fly to Mumbai and finally see the south, and maybe head on to SE Asia. Anyways, hope my ramblings haven't bored any of you to death. The next post will be about POKER, hopefully retelling my victory of the DTD 1k next week.

That's all, folks.

Ruminations on Spirituality, The Meta-physical and Belief

2010-12-01T04:36:00.001-08:00

Warning: Long, no pictures.

Disclaimer: I don't really know much about this subject, so there may be mistakes in my representations of certain beliefs/theories. Either way I'm waaaay under-qualified to write about this subject in any authoritative way. Enjoy!

Wherever you go in India, you seem to be bombarded by issues of the religious, the spiritual and the meta-physical. Be it yoga, meditation, LSD, Hinduism, reiki or chakras, spiritual experience and advice abound.

A year ago I wrote this regarding drug-induced 'spiritual experiences':

'I find it interesting that, when spirituality is involved, people's values can change so easily. A huge amount is down to personal experience of course - A Canadian girl and an American guy I met (both intelligent and lucid) both claimed to have had profound, 'eye-opening' experiences having taken acid. Both mentioned feelings of things like universal energy, and more significantly that this was real, not drug-induced ramblings - when they were sober their view on the world had changed. It didn't seem ridiculous or hilarious the next day like other drug experiences might, but it made sense. A wince from me I'm afraid. A lot of what they do, the choices they make, how they live their lives is based on an experience they had whilst on LSD? I've not taken LSD so I suppose I can't comment in full, but the idea that, rather than simply changing the way your mind or body works (as drugs do by definition), a synthetic chemical can actually make the scales fall from your eyes and reveal the world as it really is seems very unlikely to me. Perhaps I'm just a grumpy skeptic.'

In Varanasi I met a friendly, intelligent and frighteningly well-read Norwegian with a keen interest in the meta-physical, who gave me some audio-books by various authors who are fairly well known in the field (Ram Dass/Timothy Leary/Robert Anton Wilson/Watts). Although my reaction to these talks were mixed, it at least made me see where I was missing the point when talking to the American and the Canadian.

Rather than 'showing you the truth', the belief is that these drugs alter your consciousness - alter the way you perceive the world. So far so good. The next step is a little harder to swallow for some; that reaching these different levels of consciousness allow you greater freedom of understanding. Understanding, for example, that we have a collective consciousness, that we're all connected, that our perception of reality is just one of many. That consciousness isn't fixed to the body, or even to mortality. I'm not explaining it well (mainly because I don't understand it well) but they are all main points. This is the understanding the Buddha achieved when he became enlightened; he achieved access to all levels of consciousness, and was connected with all things. These ideas have been around for thousands of years, in various religions, spiritual practices and belief systems but key points seem to resonate.

The claim about psychedelics then, is that they bring you to another state of consciousness - rather than study yoga (for example), psychedelics proved a temporary shortcut. Not to enlightenment perhaps, but to some other 'level'. There's a reoccurring storyline associated with these 'acid prophets' - they began by having 'mystical experiences' due to LSD or psilocybin, experimenting with these or other mind-altering substances, realising their limitations (you always have to come down at the end), and progressing to some spiritual practise - Yoga or Buddhism for example. Many of them were massively intelligent people - Ram Dass is a famous case; a rich, well educated American in an 'upwardly mobile middle class Jewish family', lecturer at Havard, etcetc, all uprooted in the search for the 'truth', for spiritual awareness and conscious flexibility.

I find a lot of this very interesting. In a way it all seems like another religion to me. Of course I think it's inherently much less damaging (if it is at all) than most other organised religions/belief systems, and more specifically the destructive, dogmatic religions (Christianity, Islam, Judaism). Having said this, it certainly has a lot of similarities, and the way in which the ideas are presented does not help them in that respect. Several of the sources I've seen share many similarities with religious propaganda, and others are simply presented in a way which make these ideas seems very desirable. Which is ironic, since the loss of desire is heavily related to most of these belief systems. The idea that 'you shouldn't change anything after hearing this - things will change themselves', 'you shouldn't adopt these practises because you feel you ought', that 'you shouldn't believe what I'm saying - look into it yourself', etcetc crop up fairly frequently, but I feel these ideas are juxtaposed with the method of presentation.

Again, Ram Dass is a good example. The first half of his talk 'Be Here Now' is a very entertaining account of his journey to India, and he himself is funny, likable and seems genuine. The second half reminded me of Zeitgeist (which should be seen if only to see just how poorly made, badly written and downright brainwashy an 'informational' film can be); airy pseudo-science brushing over huge revelations about the way he claims the universe works. Or maintaining that you should just carry on living your life, it's of no consequence whether you adopt these beliefs, if you're 'meant' to practice them it will happen anyway - whilst simultaneously making them seem very desirable indeed; mentioning sexual pleasure, unimaginable happiness, utter truth.

Alf, the Norwegian, came to his defense somewhat, mentioning the intended audience when it came to the 'dumbing down' of the sciencey parts, and his large following requesting words of wisdom, which explains why he held the talks in the first place. Still, I found the discrepancies interesting.

One difficulty for me is that so many of the terms used are heavily loaded. Spirituality, energy, life force, whatever - to the average westerner they sound, well, like new-age hippie-freak talk. It makes it difficult for people to make intelligent, reasoned claims without sounding all ethereal and crazy. Things like the Zeitgeist film are the reason - there's all awful lot of bollocks out there that attaches itself to these ideas, contaminating them and making it hard to wade through the gibberish. It can leave a bitter taste in my mouth however well written and presented it is, which is a shame because most belief systems have something to offer; advice or observation, even just a representation of human psychology and behaviour on a grand scale. Another problem is that these ideas tend to get lumped together - as I have done here. I'm sure there are many followers of Jungian psychology who would read this and despair that his theory of collective consciousness would be mentioned in the same sphere of belief as chakras and universal energy.

The basic problem I have with the whole thing is this: I can't accept the claims made (Ram dass' guru could apparently tell the future, knew everything, there are people that people claim to never eat or drink; living off prana, etcetc) without some kind of reason to believe in them. Proof, I suppose, or plausible scientific explanations. Having said that, I honestly believe that there are people who honestly believe this stuff. And fine, there will always be an exploitative contingent in any belief system (especially one so undefined and manipulable) but if there are intelligent people who really do believe in these things... well, why do they?

It seems to me that there are three possibilities. It's true, they think it's true but it's false, and they know it's false but sell it for personal gain. (You could argue that the fourth option is that they know it's false but they give it away for the greater gain - that these beliefs make people happy/they promote views of 'loving kindness' so the lie is for the greater good. Seems unlikely to me.) I've already mentioned that there are obviously people exploiting these views for personal gain, that much is not in doubt. But I also maintain that some people really think what they're selling (or giving away in a lot of cases - Ram Dass is not a wealthy man at all despite selling millions of books; he sold them for 7c each) is the absolute truth.

I feel like this is the human reaction to life that is apparent in the manifestation of religion. The craving, that overwhelming need to find meaning that leads to faith, of whatever kind. For me, at least to some degree, all established belief systems are a result, reaction to and attempted cure of human misery. Like belief in God, I feel like a belief in such meta-physical ideas would be incredibly comforting. I sometime wonder how awesome it would be to believe there's a big man in the sky looking out for Cheesies. I don't, and very much doubt I ever will, but I can see the appeal. Equally, believing we're all connected, that death is simply a different state of being, that our consciousness is not attached to our bodies - I mean, that's pretty cool, no?! So sometimes I come to the conclusion that these people are subconsciously embracing the delusion, as with the religious (apologies to any religious readers!), to make themselves happy, to ground themselves, to give their life meaning. And perhaps taking acid makes your brain do somersaults in a totally benign way, and some people fit these somersaults into a belief system because it's more comforting to think that rather than to simply think your brain can make you see and feel weird shit, but you're still alone and your existence is pointless and full of suffering.

But then I think of the incredible claims; the more empirical side of things. I read an article last year about a hospital that took in a religious man in India who claimed not to have eaten in 80 years. They kept him in for weeks, monitored him closely - his intake, his bodily functions, his vitals, etc. He didn't eat or drink, he didn't go to the toilet, he didn't get sick, or thinner, his vitals were all normal. Reading it in a newspaper isn't adequate evidence for me, but these and similar claims are fairly widespread (especially in the East) and getting more common. Many people say that we are very close to, for example, providing a plausible scientific explanation for the collective consciousness theory.

On the other side of the coin, then, I find it hard to believe that there is some kind of mass mental block, or mental illness, or brainwashing or something that explains all these claims (and by claims I mean the 'miracles' - mass faith is a whole lot easier to explain than lots of people believing they themselves don't eat). But it's either that, or they actually happened and continue to happen, or these people simply don't exist/believe at all, and it's all one unimaginably huge scam by absolutely everyone in the business, which seems ludicrous. Well, all the options seem sort of ludicrous.

I think things like alien abduction figures, continued attendance of seances and fortune telling or the 'miracles' in faith healing show some insight into the type of human behavioral phenomena that explain mass belief in these things (if they're false) - a return to the idea of the intrinsic need to believe, a response to desperation. Or maybe scientific breakthroughs and thorough research might shed some serious light on the way the universe works and how we perceive reality in the near future. For now though, I'll be staying a skeptic until something better comes along.

Long overdiu

2010-11-23T00:02:00.000-08:00

Sorry for all the Diu puns, but frankly it's just so easy I can't resist.

Ok, picture the scene: You could see the storm before it hit. You heard the rain approach, just metres away. And then - BAM - you're soaked in seconds; thick, angry, biting rain like a swarm of bees in the dark. You are, perhaps, not entirely sober. Blinded by horizontal spray, you wobble your way up and over the church dome and then down the slippery, eccentrically spaced steps towards your room. As you step inside the first thing you feel is the two inches of water sloshing at your feet. Slamming the door shut, you stand there, swaying slightly, breathing hard. You're drenched, the rain is pouring in - over, under and through the door and through the open window - it's pitch black, the power's out and you have no torch.

Right, you think, now what?

A) Calmly but inefficiently grope around for your camera, use the screen as a torch, plug all leaks and go to bed. Turn to page 53

B) Use 5th level spell 'Watershift', then drink The Elixir of Sao Tome Retiro. Turn to page 21

C) Scream hysterically and run around in circles until help arrives. Turn to page 14

Hm, went a bit 80's-fantasy-book themed there. But they were incredible, no? Interactive books! Civilisation may never see such innovation again.

Anyway, storms - 2 of them. Well technically one storm thing and one confirmed cyclone. People here say it's the first time they've ever seen rain here in November, and there's been a lot of it. To be honest though, it's mostly been brilliant sunshine, days on the beach, gorgeous food and great company. But time to move on! Been here a month, which is pretty ridiculous even for me considering how little I've been doing. Heading around Gujarat for the few weeks I've got left, to Junagadh at the end of the week with Neil, and leaving at the same time as Ivan, Tanika and Yaron - a friendly bunch who've been sucked into the Diu vortex like me and been staying at the church for the last few weeks. End of an era!

Since this is a short post I might as well add a bit of poker talk - think I'll be playing the DTD 1k on December 17th. I get back on the 16th in the evening, so I might be pretty tired but so long as I'm not ill I'll be ok to play. Seems a little eager but it's the only decent live tournament left this year and I have a craving to play some live games. Should be a fun one; a decent structure - 30k stacks, 60-75 minute levels - so lots of room to mess around!

Anyways, just checking in, nothing much has been happening to be honest. In the best possible way, of course.

*******

PAGE 14 - Your screaming wakes the neighbours who shout at you. You spend the night crouched, shivering in the corner getting wet. YOU LOSE.

PAGE 21 - You forget to open the door before casting the spell so the water just splashes around a little, and the elixir gives you a headache. YOU LOSE.

PAGE 53 - The sound of rain on the metal roof lulls you into a deep sleep; you wake refreshed and have an omelette for breakfast. CONGRATULATIONS!

Hope you chose wisely...

Fair Dius....

2010-10-24T01:36:00.000-07:00

After doing some standard touristy things in Delhi, such as bumping into cool people from Bath that I met in Varanasi (only, what, 12-14 million people in Delhi? Pretty likely really) and being attacked by small children, I got my train to Ahmedabad.

There's something I really enjoy about the actual act of travelling. Sure it can be stressful - missed flights, delayed trains, psychotic bus drivers - but just watching the world go by can be immensely... satisfying somehow.

Take the Ahmedabad-Diu trip - I woke about an hour before we arrived. And, all passing by in fleeting seconds: thousands of steel tubes, big enough to walk through, hundreds of metres long in an enormous field; an entire school of uniformed children doing star jumps to the beat of a gigantic drum; intricately detailed psychedelic Enfield-rickshaw hybrids roaring past; a large ring of men dancing to an audience. Cows, oxen and buffalo pulling carts, pigs and hogs snuffling in the debris. The old man lying on the street with nothing but bones and a beard.

No reliving it, no going back to visit, no phone numbers, no emails addresses, no photos, no names. Just image after image washing past, rolling out of reach. But in a good way. Life going on.

Well that was pretty wiffley and airy fairy, back to reality. Brief review of Ahmedabad: I kinda liked it but I have no idea why. There was nothing to do, or see, no other travellers to socialise with and the place smelt funny. But I still sort of liked it - the casual confidence that is characteristic of Indians has settled upon the place in a type of airy, easy grace. Not a place I'd want to spend much time in though.

Anyways, now I'm in Diu, and it is FRIGGIN' AWESOME. It's a tiny island less than 10 miles across that was under Portuguese rule until '61, and it really shows. The Indo-Mediterranean vibe is bizarre, and lovely. Perhaps it's just that it's an oasis in the desert of chaos that is India, but it seems like a mini paradise - after nearly 2 weeks in Delhi anyhow.

I'm staying at the top of an old church that you can scramble around and explore, my view every morning is brilliant sun shining on a scattering of eccentrically multicoloured Mediterranean-style houses, the odd church, some palm trees, and then the Arabian sea. It's sunny and hot every day but with a nice ocean breeze, there are sandy, empty beaches and the sea is warm. It's quiet, barely any people, no touts, no rickshaws, no cars, no horns, no rubbish. Beer is very cheap and plentiful. They even take siestas here. Basically, if the church I'm staying in had wifi - nothing personal guys, but I wouldn't be coming back.

My daily routine at the moment is: wake up mid-morning, have breakfast somewhere, trundle along on the bike I've hired to a beach, swim and read in the sun, trundle along again to a nice restaurant, eat some awesome food, trundle some more, maybe explore the island a bit, trundle home, drink 60p beers and eat freshly caught shark (gorgeous), then pass out in the wee hours after talking a lot of nonsense usually with a nice/interesting group of people. Rinse and repeat.

Talking of the people one meets - one of the brilliant things about hitch-hiking is that you tend to meet a glorious mix of the great and the eccentric (such as the Polish guy in Belgium who hadn't slept in 48 hrs, had a penchant for going the wrong way around roundabouts or skipping red lights - both at once on one memorable occasion - and fell asleep doing 120 km/hr on a motorway). Backpacking - especially in a place like India - although not quite so polarised, is similar. Meeting relaxed, friendly people that I genuinely enjoy spending time with is, if not common, at least a lot less rare than average. Also, the number of... 'interesting characters' you meet rises dramatically, which can vary from entertaining to frightening.

Take a fellow guest house resident; a smiley, down-to-earth, beer-loving Jordie in her late 30s. Or so I thought - last night she told me, in no uncertain terms, that she was an angel. 'I am God. I am here to save humanity.'

Delusions of grandeur, anyone? They were drunken ramblings perhaps (well, no perhaps about it actually) but still, I'd need something significantly stronger than beer to make me think I'm God. She was literally yelling 'Shut the FUCK UP, I don't care what any of you think, you're all inferior, I'm a celestial being.' Shouting at people mid-conversation to proclaim she was The Saviour. Certainly an interesting evening.

I think I had a point when I started writing about that but I've forgotten what it was, so I'll just leave you with some words spoken by Guillaume, a really nice French guy who was staying here in Diu the last week or so. Imagine the thick French accent.

"I am not religious, I do not believe in God but life, life is... is fucking strange, non?

Varanasi and The Games

2010-09-17T01:16:00.000-07:00

I arrive in Varanasi slightly dazed from the 12hr train ride and find lodgings at the Shanti Guest House. Not easily, I hasten to add - it's down near the ghats; the steps down to the Ganges used for a variety of activities, from washing and bathing to burning the dead. Shanti GH is near Manikarnika Ghat, the biggest of the cremation ghats, and getting there requires navigation through a labyrinth of markets and side streets that are teaming with cockroaches, touts, stray dogs, cows and shops; littered with rubbish, paan splotches, various animals' crap and an ominous, viscous black sludge that slides down the gutters. Corpses pass by on the streets, carried on stretchers by small, chanting processions.

After a much needed shower I head to the rooftop restaurant. The view is incredible and the atmosphere charged - great boulders of thunder roll over the Ganges and around the ghats, eyes stinging from the pyres' smoke. I go for a wander around the backstreets and see some of the ghats. Then I'm directed to a music shop and school by a friendly drug dealer ('I sell everything'), and end up taking a tabla lesson right there and then, and book a bunch more.

Munshi Ghat

The Jolly Music House is run by the genial Jolly, who seems to spend most of his time sitting drinking chai, getting jolly, and generally smiling a lot. He also has a nice turn of phrase and puts things in ways that only non-native English speakers can, and we have some interesting conversations. Also play a few times with him and my teacher Om, in which I'm hilariously out-drummed but that are fun nonetheless.

It's a very Indian city, and despite the superficial reservations it's easy to have about the place, it has a great atmosphere and I like it here, as do most visitors. After a few weeks of pleasant sameyness, I head back to Delhi to catch some of the madness that is The Commonwealth Games.

Rant time! The metro system in Delhi during The Games would've been better organised had it been designed by a one-year-old going nuts with some crayons. At the entrance to the New Delhi metro station, there's ONE body scanner and ONE bag scanner. This is one of the busiest metro stations in Delhi, next to the biggest and busiest train station, and the way into the city from the airport. And the hundreds of thousands who use the metro daily are let in one at a time. I just saw (and promptly left) a queue about 300m long and 4 people wide - so perhaps 2000 people - and the queue was getting longer. One at a time. The incompetence involved in designing such a system is staggering. Then there's the free metro tickets that come with the event tickets. Each one has a code that has to be manually recorded every time you enter or exit the metro station. So come the end of an event - thousands of people trying to get home - not only are they let in or out one at a time, but everyone's shouting numbers and thrusting tickets slips all over the place, one guy frantically trying to write down long strings of numbers in a huge ledger. Complete mayhem. I can't fathom how anyone in the world, ever, would think this was a good idea. Or even a vaguely passable idea.

Ok, rant over. In comparison to the other methods of city travel it's actually a pretty good service (or at least a much needed one), despite all its faults - it's just that seeing a system that a moderately intelligent monkey could improve upon annoys the hell out of me.

The Games themselves are great (again, the infrastructural elements are woefully inadequate and under prepared, but I'll refrain from more ranting) and the events that have Indian competitors inevitably lead to the crowd going completely bonkers which can be very entertaining.

I'd meant to head to Mumbai next, but the trains are booked up for weeks in advance, so instead I book a ticket to Ahmedabad, and intend to head to Diu. It's a seaside resort-type town on the southern tip of the Gujarat peninsula, and I figure possibly a nice base to head off for some biking around the bulbous coastline. Looks like my plan to head down the western coast and end up in Kerala may not come off as planned. But plans in India are made to be broken it seems...

From the top.

2010-09-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

We get into Delhi after an 8-hour plane ride (on which I get NO sleep). I'm amazed at the airport; it's all changed massively in the 6 months since I was here last. The Commonwealth Games are here next month and it's clear they've spent some serious money preparing - all shiny marble and perfume shops. The taxi ride into Delhi is striking as well, construction everywhere you look. I ask our taxi driver if it'll be done in time for the games, he laughs and shakes his head.

We wander around Paharganj (the backpacker area I'm familiar with), dump our bags at a guesthouse and grab some tasty samosas on the street. This is also undergoing major renovation - about a metre has been ripped off the front of the buildings on either side in order to make the street wider.

A rickshaw ride later and we're in the Chandi Chowk - a big network of markets near the Jama Masjid. I'd heard of a mystical, heavenly street that just sells paranthes of various shapes and sizes where you can choose any filling (image all the things you could put in a paranthe! peppers... peas... cashew nuts...!) called Gali Paranthe Wali (the lane of fried bread). So we went on a mission to find it, did eventually and had a fantastic aloo paranthe. Shame I didn't know the Hindi for cashew nuts.

At this point I'm an absolute wreck from lack of sleep, so we relax in a cafe and hide from a thunderstorm before heading to the station to get our train to Haridwar. I'm out cold for the whole ride (my dad doesn't fare so well) and we have chai and share a rickshaw with a friendly German to Rishikesh (which I describe in my blog from last year).

We find Enfields to hire pretty easily, from Ranjeet Motorcycles (recommended!) which is actually the place I bought my bike last year. If he remembers me and my... clumsiness last year he doesn't show it. Quite a few shop/cafe owners remember me though which is nice - one remembers both my name and what drink I'd order ('Ah, Mr Ben! Lemon tea?') which I'm mightily impressed by.

Oh if only I had a handlebar mustache.

We decide we'd like to head up to Joshimath, towards Hem Kund and The Valley of Flowers, where I actually went with Tyler and Gribb last year. So, after a few days rest, we set off from Rishikesh and have a great day's riding. A few scary patches, but mostly fine, and some nice sun. We also see many incredible road signs, my favourite being 'Driving and drink: a fetal combination'. Drink driving as a method of conception? Interesting...

That night it absolutely pours down, and after a few kilometres the next day we reach a few major landslides. We sit in front of the first, eyeing it up, when an Indian biker with a passenger rides up and sails through, as though the huge rocks and foot-thick mud were nothing. Fine, we think, we're just being wusses. After bumping around like crazy and getting stuck a few times we manage to get across and stop at a chai stall - by which time the guys in front returns saying the way forward is totally blocked. It's safe to say they weren't exaggerating.

Since we can't head onwards to Joshimath we decide to head back in case the road home is slow too. Turns out to be completely blocked. The next three days go pretty much in the same vein. Every day we get up early, get about 10km down the road, get confronted by ridiculous landslides; navigate our way through one to be met by a bigger one a few minutes later. Some of the things the locals are doing are truly staggering though - basically carrying entire bikes over huge mounds of slippery mud or zooming along foot-wide paths of mud and running water, both just a few feet away from hundred metre drops... Wish I had my camera handy!

Many bikers got through this, and it wasn't the worst by a long way.

It's getting to the point where we're not sure if we'll be back in time for my dad to get the train back to Delhi and catch his plane, but luckily by the fourth day the roads are pretty well cleared, and we bomb back to Rishikesh, the 'scary' parts of the first day barely registering in comparison to the landslides further into the mountains. Pretty dusty though.

The Masked Banditos

Just time for a bit of shopping and a nice hike into the hills (where I get attacked by one of the supposedly docile white monkeys) before heading back to Delhi.

2010 roundup, plans

2010-08-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

Soooo, I'm done for the year. I haven't actually quite updated my spreadsheets yet, but I think it's going to end up something like breakeven on my own coin, and about in about $5k of makeup, over maybe 500hrs and 6 months. I've been much worse about keeping records of the live stuff, but I'm guessing roughly breakeven there too, maybe down a little.

So, fairly disappointing. I was playing well for large parts of it, probably the best I ever have, although there were definitely times where I let the downswing get to me; -$35k at one point, so about 400buyins over maybe 2000 games. Fairly unpleasant. Luckily I had a nice score recently which helped wipe out most of my makeup: Bink. Then last weekend I got coolered for the chiplead with 15 left in The Sunday Million (and I don't capitalise lightly), which was pretty crushing, but reassuring after a bad spell (for those who don't know, The Million is the biggest weekly tournament online, 1st being ~$250k. Coming 15/8000 players and breaking even on the day is pretty devastating considering that my place in the tournament was worth maybe $70k in equity - in effect, I lost $70k in one hand). Finally, my coach Matt LaGarde, after looking over the hand history of the 320 score, said he didn't have a lot of advice, and was impressed with how I played. I think being told by mlagoo that I play pretty well is a major achievement!

So all positive signs. Shame I don't have any money really. The 28k score didn't get me out of makeup so I didn't see any of it, (despite my mum suggesting I could pocket a few $k of it for myself! shocking) and The Million was stupid and evil. Even a 9th would mean I actually made some money, y'know, for food and stuff. Oh well, it was probably the last tournament I'll play this year, as next week I'm going away. For the best I think, I doubt I'd be playing well, at least for a little while.

Which leads me to the next bit - I'm off to India again. Yay! Going motorbiking with my dad for a few weeks in the same area I was biking last year (I'm far far more prepared for the biking, hopefully no more crashes to write about...), then he's heading home and I'm off down south along the coast. Pretty excited, getting itchy feet here, in need of a break/change of scenery. I'll be turning this back into a travel blog for the next 3 months, so come look at purty pictures and read about me almost dying in a myriad of strange ways.

Sooo... that's about it, back a week or two before christmas. Might get a few sessions in then, but I'm pretty much calling 2010 closed for business. I'm distantly looking forward to getting back to it next year; assuming I can earn some moolah there are some fun trips lined up - PCA, vegas for the WSOP, probably some EPTs, and obviously the GUKPTs and UKIPTs again. But before then I'm definitely in need of some space.

Bring on the curry and motorbikes.

Live games

2010-07-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

I had a live cash! I made a day 2! I made a day 3! I MADE A FINAL TABLE!!

So the past month or so has been mainly live games for me. All have been great fun, and I've met a lot of people that I know through forums and stuff which has been awesome. Back in June was the UKIPT Killarney. It was a €1k event, and I hoped I would be sensible and do good here. Unfortunately I got my fancy-pants syndrome again, and ended up turning QQ into a bluff on a T-high board against a range that was {AA,KK}. It was actually an interesting spot, and I think it would work against the right player, but I need to remind myself that the average live player doesn't fold, and they really really don't fold aces or kings. So that got me short and I lost a flip or something.

Played some cash, lost a €800 pot to a 1 outer on the river, that was fun. Then played the €500 side. Played pretty good, made a few spewy plays early on, but luckily they worked out this time (floated a small CR from aggressive russian dude with A5dd on 24K one diamond, binked the 3 on the turn and stacked QK) and managed to make my first day 2. Came back, made a few nice calls, generally just chipped up slowly, then went a bit card/spot dead and made the final table as the shortstack.

The final played soooo slooowwwlly, we we're 8 handed for several hours. Eventually people started busting, and I managed to win a flip QQ>AK (after an A flopped too, Q on the river!). I was the only one doing any raising really, and was just collecting everyone's blinds. Knocked out a few shorties to take us to 3-handed, and I had a nice chiplead. Then QQ < A5 (to get HU with a huge chiplead) and JT < Q5 on 9TQ and I'm done. boooo! Still, was a nice cash and felt great to get the monkey off my back.

Went down to brighton feeling good. Despite being very hungover I had a great day 1, ran good, played ok, and ended the day 2nd in chips. Made just the 1 spewy play, 4bet shoving QKs over a 3bet from a young guy who had aces... I got there. I'm getting better though, finding more patience... Day 2 went well too, with me being chipleader for large parts of it, I was playing well and just gradually collecting chips. Unfortunately I lost a few large pots towards the end of the day, and ended up coming back with 13th left on day 3 with about 20bbs. Made a few slight mistakes to start with (r/folding button vs an aggro guy in BB with KTo and 20bb) and ended up jamming 15x with qjs over a CO open. He thought for a bit before calling with AQo, and I can't get there despite the 9Tx flop. Oh well, gg me. Kinda frustrating to come so close to the £65k for first and not win, but still, 13th aint bad I guess. All positive signs. Congrats to Andy Youens (AKA 'clunged') for coming 7th!

Got the sheffield £500 summer series this weekend, then GUKPT luton the weekend after that, then UKIPT edinburgh the weekend after that. Hopefully the run/play good will continue!

http://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/player.php?a=r&n=167630

lol juneaments

2010-06-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

Soooo, been a quiet month really. Went up to sheffield a few times, once for SUSOP - the annual sheffield student poker tournament. £50, usually gets about 40-50 people, a good laugh. Standard was pretty hilarious. The game was open to anyone, so there were quite a few casino regulars giving free poker lessons, raise/folding with 8bbs and tutting when people moved allin pre. I bubbled, which lead to a chorus of smirks and smug comments after I'd declined to agree to pay out the entire final table (they were suggesting paying 10 out of 44!). Oh well.

I actually did pretty good out of the weekend though, made a few hundred playing 10p/20p (/40p/80p/1.60/3.20....) with my poker mates up there, and won every single flip for drinks and food; won 3 meals and a large number of drinks, so worked out a pretty cheap weekend. Thanks guys! :)

Went up again the next weekend for Peace in the Park, a mini-festival which is always fun. Nice music, sun shining, sitting on the grass. All good. Then was Peace After Dark which is the unofficial rave in the peaks afterwards which was great fun too.

Aaaanyways, so all this means I haven't played much this month. Played half a dozen sessions I guess, was breakeven until yesterday, which was the worst sunday EVER. The worst of all the sundays. Played 60, had about 3 mincashes. So I'm basically taking the rest of the month off. Got UKIPT Killarney in a few days which will be great, Dan Dave Luke and Steve will be there for some pokery drinkery funtimes, and I feel like I might actually be able to stop myself spewing all over the place in the main event. Maybe. Another good thing is that a lot of the UK based sickos will be in vegas so should be even softer than normal which is nice.

May roundup

2010-06-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

March continued in a similar vein to the rest of the year, and by the 14th I was up to $35k in makeup. Luckily we had a family holiday planned in Greece for a week, which was just was I needed. Spent the time reading books in the sun and floating about on boats in the med, very nice, very little to do. Barely thought about poker once, which is unusual for me!

Came back ready to play, and I started binking. Think every session I played in the week days after was a winning one, and I had 2 $6-7k scores. Made ~$17k, bringing makeup down to $18k, which is seeming more manageable now. Didn't play as much as april because of the week off.

Hours: 76
Results: +$9k

Apart from a luckbox, the other thing I brought back from Greece was a different sleeping pattern - started having siestas every day now. Quite nice as it lets me wake up at a vaguely civilised time (11-12ish) and actually see some of the day. I need to remember not to play poker unless I've had one though, I'm usually too tired.

Hope you all run good in May! (though not when you're at my table obviously)

April Results

2010-05-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

Sooo April didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. I mean, in some ways it was awesome because of the two scores I had online whilst at the Irish Open - I had 100% of myself in them and personally I made $12.8k on the month. Which is obviously great - that puts me a little bit in the black for 2010. However I'm also in $27k of makeup (about -300 buyins). My backer now has all of my action as well, so basically that means I have to earn 27k before I actually get to see any money. Which could take a while. Because I made money personally that's not a huge deal right now thankfully, but if this downswing continues I could be in a spot of bother...

Ftops went pretty poorly, didn't really make many runs. Scoop so far has gone very annoyingly, had several deep runs and big stacks only to lose in very frustrating ways. The only solace I can take is that my backer has railed me deep in a few mtts and seen some horrible suckouts in 10-18th, etc so hopefully he knows I'm not just spewing his money away!

Did the DTD 300 a few days ago - went pretty standardly. I 3bet pre oop in the first level with 68s and fired 3 barrels. I even brought a book to stop me doing crap like that!!! Luckily I r/red the straight - oooops. After that I buried my nose in my book and nitted up, actually worked quite well for a few hours, but then I couldn't resist 4bet shoving 88 and forgot live players always have aces. Congrats to my mate Dan who came 4th though. He has much patience and crushes live imo.

Anyways, there's a bunch of scooooops left, scoopscoop! So I'll just scoop one of those and all will be well.

Cognitive Dissonance and Poker

2010-04-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

So in one of my insomniac wanderings of the internet, I started reading some stuff on cognitive science, and more specifically Cognitive Dissonance. For those who don't want to read it, simply put, it's about easing internal conflict. One example is the old sour grapes fable - the fox can't reach the grapes, and so concludes the grapes are probably sour anyway. The conflict of wanting the grapes but not being able to get them leads to the rationalisation that he doesn't want them, thereby making him feel better.

As with most things, I thought about how it applies to poker - and I think it does in a big big way. Think about it - how many times have you recklessly fired the 3rd shell, got called and thought 'Man, what an idiot, how can he call there'. Or made a fancy move which didn't work but rationalised that it was good because the guy played the hand weird and normally it would work great. Maybe it's just me (!) but I think it happens to most players, and I think a lot of players use these rationalisations a lot to make themselves feel better - often about their bad play.

Say you make a calldown in a spot where you're vaguely aware that he probably has it, but you haven't mentally set in stone that this type of situation is a fold - so you just press the call button (certainly happens to me a lot...). There is huge dissonance here - you're supposed to be a thinking, intelligent poker player, you're aware he usually has you, but you pay him off anyway. This internal conflict, this contradiction is unpleasant to you, so you rationalise it. You think 'He could've had the busted flush draw' or 'he probably isn't good enough to value bet top pair here'. You focus on the few times you've seen people show up with air here, even though it's far less common than when they have you beat, and decide the call was probably fine, you just got unlucky to run into a hand. This means you'll continue to make the same mistake, until you address the problem and actually stop calling in these spots.

The idea of lying to yourself isn't exactly new, but I think being aware that it's an inherent human trait, and not simply some vague thing 'that some people do' can really help to identify when you're just trying to make yourself feel better. Earlier today I made a pretty bad call with a flush on a paired board where it was pretty much never good, and rationalised it by thinking about players from years and years ago who could show up with weaker flushes in this spot. I knew it was a bad call, but I sort of decided it was more of a cooler since maybe he can have lower flushes, maybe a straight... and I sort of pushed it from my mind. Then I decided discussing the hand was probably a good idea, and my coach verbally slapped some sense into me!

So, that's the lesson for today kids. Be aware when your mind is simply trying to placate you - ignoring or rationalising your mistakes away or blaming them on others is easier, but it wont make you a better player.

March roundup, April showers...

2010-04-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

So... march didn't go too well. Played a little less than february, and with no results to speak of really.

March
Sessions: 9
Hours: 77
Results: -$2.3k

DTD was fun but losing. Was starting to get a little down over the lack of results etc, but figured going to Ireland for the Irish Open would be a nice get away. 3.5k main event started of brilliantly. Had a very soft table, was playing well, feeling great. Got up to 30k (from 10k) within 4 hours, pretty much a dream start. 90 minutes later I was bust. Not quite sure how to be honest. Made 1 bad multi-street bluff that was just FPS, and 2 marginal/possibly bad calldowns that cost me a bit. Few coolers. Lost a flip. Still a lot of work to do on my live game I think. I just can't stop myself playing hands!

So anyways, was feeling pretty sorry for myself, lost a bunch trying to sat into EPT San Remo where some friends are playing (to no avail) and lost some playing live cash. Decided just to grind online instead... a good choice it turns out. Saturday night I binked the FT 50/50 for $8.7k, and tonight just finished the obligatory sunday session, coming 2nd in the FT $59 superturbo for a little under $10k. weee! Also, just done my spreadsheets and the score tonight FINALLY gets me over the $100k lifetime profit mark. Been hovering around it for bloomin' ages, nice to cross it.

So I'm in a good mood. Going to play the 330 bounty event tomorrow, think it's the last event in the Irish Open schedule, should be fun. Hope this weekend bodes well for the rest of April!

February roundup

2010-03-02T00:48:00.001-08:00

Weird month. The downswing continued until my live games, where I lost money too. Ended up nearly going bust online down to about $2-3k or so, which really sucked, and I was starting to worry a little financially. I mean, things weren't getting desperate or anything, I just didn't have any spare cash to redeposit (other than savings which I wasn't going to dip in to) so I'd have had to drop down to $10-26mtts and nothing higher. Thankfully a mate of mine offered to stake me for a while. We joked that his money runs good so I'll be off the stake in no time - obviously within 3 sessions I make him $10k! Had my biggest ever score, a little over $15k for a stars $162 win, and a few other smaller scores.

So I have a roll again, although I'm still being backed for most of the stuff I'm playing - I have my action at the lower buyins. Going to stay on the stake for a little while I think, less pressure = happy cheesies. I'm still not in the black for 2010 yet, down a few $k overall, but feb results were much much better than I expected a week ago.

February
Sessions: 13
Hours: 102.5
Results: +$4.6k

Live pokerament trip report

2010-03-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

The DTD £300 lasted all of 45 mins. Was feeling really good about this tournament, had a soft table, was playing well, for the 45 minutes I lasted anyway. Obligatory bustout hand: A few limpers to me at 50/100, I check BB with Q4s. Flop comes 442ss. I c/c a pot bet from anonymous live player #1. Turn is a blankish card, an offsuit 9 or something. I c/r his pot bet to 4kish, he raises to 10k (with ~2k back). I actually consider folding as it's live, but then I remember I have teh tripz and shove it in his face. He sigh-calls and flips A5ss, and obviously gets there. So that's fun, I end up playing cash for most of the rest of the weekend (the £165 on the sunday goes fairly similarly) and actually do really well at 1/2 nlhe. Unfortunately my friend Dave persuades me to play some drunken 1/2 omaha, obviously I lose a £2k pot to him (he runs waaaay too good) middle set < flush draw, to put me down a few hundred for the trip. Fun though.

Spend a few days in Sheffield which was great, though I'm starting to feel a little tired after 4-5 days of late nights and drinking. We turn up for the £500 UKIPT Manchester on the wednesday as there is a PS party/free bar (I'm not playing until friday so I get a lie-in!) which is fun, though my liver is groaning. We hear recent EPT winner Jake Cody is having a party nearby, so we tag along and there's free champagne flowing like orange juice, all very jolly. Then we go back to the casino for some poker (obviously a fantastic idea)... I think I won some money? I'm not sure. Next day Dave and Dan are groaning about having to get up for the tournament that starts at 2pm - I lie in bed. Score. I head down for cash in the evening, although it's so full there aren't any free tables at all and all the waiting lists are full, so me and Dave end up heading back to the hotel and playing online. I break even, he crushes some more HU PLO. Dan's still in the tournament, and ends the day amongst the top stacks.

I get up the next day to play my starting day, and feel pretty rubbish. I get an ok starting table, a few scandis (one very stereotypical - 'straddles' every utg, playing a bunch of pots. he busts pretty quickly after a few rough coolers), a few standard live nits, teddy sherringham in seat 4, a few youngish guys who seem ok. I end up playing pretty badly all in all, trying to force things. I get that a lot playing live I think, I want to play every hand and end up seeing J8s in Mp1 and considering it a mandatory open - using 'it's live!' as an excuse to spew. Anyways, so I kind of hover around starting for a while, but things start going down hill, and I lose a bunch of pots in sucky spots. Finally I get it in 99 < AKo, whatever.

I played a £100 side event that evening, win a last longer bet vs dave and dan, but bust before the money. We play a bit of omaha, where I lose some more money (I'm never playing live PLO again) but I win it back and more at nlhe. Me and dan head back earlyish and leave dave omahaing it up at £5/5, as Dan plays day 2 of the ME the next day, and I feel like crap. Dave comes in at 8am or so, after losing an £xk pot (8k I think?) after getting it in with top set + 2nd nut FD and losing to the nut FD. Sigh.

Dan leaves early the next day, we sleep until the evening. I play the £300 side event, dave goes out drinking, dan plays his day 2. The 300 goes a little better than the others, I'm playing better, but generally get ridiculously card dead and short, and end up busting standardly. Dan busts too, mincashing for 1k (we have 5% in each other for the main event so weee £50!). Dave comes back and there's generally more drinking and pokering going on. Me and dan take it in turns playing dave HU on the HU poker machine for £50/game, and end up busting him which is pretty funny (I don't think he won a single game) and so he obviously goes and withdraws £3k, throwing £1k on black as he walks past the roulette wheel. Drunken gambling for the win...? It comes in of course, because he runs good. He then makes a no-pit games rule, and if we ever see him playing a pit game ever again he has to give us both £100.

Anyway, long and the short of it, we sit at some 1/2nlhe, play stupidly and and annoy all the regulars, Dave loses after calling allin for several hundred with 53o, and leaves to get his train, me and dan play until 12pm the next day (18hours playing for me, 22 or something for him) I win a bunch, I think dan lost some. Next day me and dan turn up and play some 5/5 for a while, it goes very badly to start with for me, but I win a few hands and leave breakeven, and I get the 5am train back to bristol for some much needed sleep.

Think lost about £1.5k on the trip, but it was great fun. I also realised that I need to play more straightforwardly in tournaments, more live nlhe cash, and that I should never, ever play PLO.

Jan roundup

2010-02-01T07:01:00.000-08:00

A spectacularly bad start. Fun! I'm pleased with a few things though, I've been putting in a lot of volume this week, and watching a lot of training videos. I also think I've been playing ok - not great, I definitely still have leaks, but it's getting better session by session. Also, I've had a pretty good mindset despite running horribly, haven't been getting down or wasting the end of sessions because I'm in a bad mood.

January
Sessions: 6
Hours: 52
Results: -$7.9k

I have an average buyin of ~$80 at the moment, so a nice 100 buyin downswing to start things off. Pretty much halved my online roll so I've been cutting things bit by bit, the amazingly soft ipoker 50r was the first to go, then 30rs on FT. Playing up to 100FOs and 20rs for now. Could use some rungood! Really don't want to have to drop down too drastically.

Going to play a few days this week, then off to nottingham for DTD, spending a few days in sheffield visiting people (and hopefully going crazy in a cash game or two) and then manchester for the UKIPT. Really looking forward to some live poker, hopefully I'll run a little better in real life.

Here's to a better Feb!

POKER

2010-01-22T10:38:00.001-08:00

(People looking for my last India blog post should scroll down - it's just boring pokery stuff up here)

Soooo! It's time to grind. I have a huge motivation to play right now (5 months off will do that!) and have some stuff worked out. Firstly here are my goals for 2010, copied from pfu:

Online

Play 30hrs/week minimum. 4 online sessions+ preferably, but if lots of live play then slightly less is ok.

Get a coach. Maybe only 5-10hrs or so, will see.

Renew CR subscription.

Spend 5hrs/week minimum studying my game/watching CR vids/viewing HH replays etc.

Reach an av. buyin of $100.

Stop getting down/tilting during sessions that start badly, or when you bust from the biggest/deepest tournament you have left. It's stupid and damaging. EVERY TOURNAMENT MATTERS.

Live

Play every DTD deepstack/UKIPT 500 I can.

Sat into 2 other GUKPT/UKIPT events.

Make day 2 of a multiday event (would be a first...)

Sat into the WSOP ME (I'm 21! wooo)

General

Treat poker more like a job. Keep putting in decent volume whether doing well or badly, have a better mindset whilst playing.

Related ^^ Get a good routine going. Go for a jog before playing/make a nice meal/make sure I'm fresh and will play well.

Get the standard of my actual play near the level of my theoretical play. Sounds silly, but there's a fairly large gap. This may involve playing less tables online.

Make more than '09.

Keep up other activities (jujitsu, badminton), maybe take some language classes, guitar lessons. Poker isn't everything.

Mainly hoping to treat it all a little more seriously. Going to be playing a lot more live - with the monthly £330 deepstacks at DTD and £1-1.5k GUKPT and UKIPT tours (plus side events) there should be enough to keep me going! Plus I won an Irish Open seat again this year so I have that to look forward to in April.

Starting with a smaller roll of about $10-12k; withdrew a lot before leaving last year and it's needed for other things (rent/live bankroll/food etc)so just going to be grinding midstakes, and not buying into many sunday majors for a month or two, unless I bink something sizeable.

Played 2 sessions so far, 1 light sunday where I bricked everything (obviously) and just played awfully. I was ill and tired, shouldn't have played at all - lost $2.5k or so. Then I played a session yesterday which went much better, had 3 final tables including a small win, ending up about $1k up overall. Mainly was just playing well which made me happy, was worried after sunday I'd forgotten how to play! Made a few mistakes in key hands, including one horrible hand to bust in 4th in a 30r which paid 5.4k to first, so that was fairly costly - but I know what I did wrong, and feel confident I can play well and plug my leaks.

Double guarantees week on tilt means I'm going to play every day I think. I've always run good on tilt, this week would be a great time to continue doing so...

Dharamsala and onwards

2010-01-15T04:28:00.000-08:00

It's pretty cold in Dharamsala, and for the first week or 2 I don't really meet anyone. I end up staying indoors a lot and begin feeling the miserable, wintery haze that I've come to India to avoid. Thankfully I meet some nice people at the Rogpa cafe - run by volunteers with proceeds helping to support Tibetan single mothers in Dharamsala. I end up helping out there a while, and teaching a little English to a local Tibetan girl. I also find a very nice cafe called the Heart Rock, run by permanently chilled-out local Ran, and end up spending most evenings there - it tends to attract a nice, if sometimes slightly odd, crowd. (For example, English trust-fund Bradley attendee with a craaazy posh English + Austrian accent who lived in Mongolia with nomadic horsemen for 9 months and was prone to extreme and spontaneous mood swings. Or the Indian guy who danced his socks off on his own in the corner all night, often impersonating animals. His 'spider' dance was my favourite)

After a month or so of not doing much but having a nice time, I head to Amritsar with quiet-but-lovely American couple Lexi and Chris. The main attraction here is The Golden Temple, Sikhism's most impressive and significant Gudwara. Apart from the beauty and elegance of the temple itself, the sense of community is astounding. The free kitchen, open to all, feeds upwards of 60,000 a day. No restrictions on religions, race, class, gender. Come in, sit down, eat. And the attitude of it all is something that touches me - it's not a big significant thing to help out. You come in, wash a few dishes if you want, leave. Like it's something normal, not out of the ordinary (there's a lot of self-righteous back-patting in the volunteering community) it all makes me feel a little more positive about the human condition. Plus they have a chipati machine that makes 24,000/hour - WAY COOL!

We also head to the Pakistan-India border for the closing ceremony. At first they get all the girls up and dancing to some bangra, amid loud, patriotic chanting.

Next, the guards stamp around aggressively, looking hard. It's a strange atmosphere, like a sports game; good-natured competition. But the tension between the two countries is far greater than that, and I find it a little odd. It's pretty fun though!

After the few days there, the Americans and I go our separate ways. I have to go back to Mcleod Ganj - I need to think about my bike. I'd decided to sell the bike on reaching Mcleod, but moping about followed by having fun has lead to me conveniently forgetting about it. I put up a few posters here and there, and get some responses. The 2nd guy I show it to is a friendly Austrian and he buys it after having a ride around. There are a few problems over the next few days, but a trip to the mechanic sorts it out (30rupees! 37p for an hour long once over of a motorbike - I love India!). Hopefully he's somewhere on the road on the way sown south - he was planning to go the whole length of the Subcontinent, arriving in Kerala. Good luck to him...

After selling it I'm aware of a massive release of tension - the bike had been keeping me there somewhat. I'm freeee! Some other awesome people I've met, Leo and Sophie, are heading to Jaisalmer for a camel safari over Christmas. Yes please! Sophie's already there with her friend Orion, so me and Leo start the long journey from northern Himachal Pradesh to western Rajasthan.

The camel safari is great to start with. I mean, the novelty of riding a camel is enough! But after an hour or two I start feeling very sick. I end up walking behind, and start throwing up/going to the toilet frequently. The group is in front out of sight by this point, and the guy with my camel has gotten impatient and walked on too. Suddenly I find myself totally alone, in a desert in the midday heat, delirious with illness in a fair amount of pain. Then I realise I don't know which way I'm going. I spend a few minutes looking around, and decide on the most likely direction - thankfully it was. Could've been interesting otherwise...

I end up getting a lift back from the camp that night, although not without seeing an awesome sunset:

and a shooting star, that broke off into TWO MORE SHOOTING STARS! So that made me feel a little better. I spend most of christmas day in bed. In fact the only xmas reference is one man who wishes me Merry Christmas, but then tries to sell me bedsheets.

After Leo, Sophie and Orion return from the safari, we head to Bikaner, mainly to see the rat temple. If one runs over your feet it's good luck!

After that everyone heads off in different directions - I go to Jodpur. It's a lovely place, lots of tiny winding streets and a nice atmosphere. I stay in a tent on the roof of a guest house. A lovely view to wake up to in the morning:

View from the fort:

Next is Udaipur, 'the Venice of India'. Another nice town, and some fantastic scenery from the many rooftop restaurants. The palace was used in the Bond film 'Octopussy' and is suitably grand - you get a nice view of it on a boat ride of the lake. I do a cookery course here too, so I can now make all sorts of tasty indian food! In theory at least...

Next stop on the Rajasthan tour is Bundi, a small, sleepy, rural town. The palace overlooking the town is huge, dilapidated, and labyrinthine. I spend a while tottering up broken steps and peering through dark alleys - it's so refreshing coming from the UK where everything that could possibly be seen as dangerous or even just broken or dirty is closed off. I see some local Indians walking along ridiculously high castle walls like stepping stones. My last day here is the Bundi Kite Festival - a day where everyone flies kites on the their roofs. It's really really difficult! I lose about a dozen kites and cut my hand several times, although towards the end of the day I can keep the bloody thing in the air for a few minutes at least.

That evening I leave for Agra and the Taj Mahal. I had some reservations about going, but everyone I spoke to said yes, it's dirty, smelly, noisy, there's tons of obnoxious tourists and shameless touts, but you simply have to do it, the Taj is worth it. And I'm glad I did.

Finally it was back to Delhi. As with most people I was a little phased by Delhi, but I find it totally normal now, and have a good look around, before catching my flight HOME.

Which is where am I now. Everything's so quiet! Where are the cows? The buffalo? The people peeing in the gutters, the rickshaws, the noise, the sewage, the rubbish, the people asking me questions? The awesome street food and stalls crammed together like jigsaws? The saris and shawls, the dogs and dhabas? I'm going to miss it all.

...though some things more than others!

1200km, 7 towns, 3 throttle cables, 1 bike (part 2)

2009-12-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

My bike is getting fairly tired by this point - riding it out of the multistorey car park is much more difficult than anticipated, since it's on a hill. My bike does not like hills. After a few tries, a few stalls, a few rollings down the hill backwards, I end up turning around and going for a kilometer or so in the other direction to get a run up, and this finally works (just about). Then I hit a traffic jam. Indian traffic jams aren't much fun at the best of times, but with a bike that really doesn't like mornings (I'm not so partial either) it's pretty stressful. It's a proper jam, we'll move maybe 10m, then stop for a few minutes. As the line moves forward the 10m, I stall (surprise surprise) and immediately the driver behind me starts beeping like crazy, shouting 'HELLO SIR, GO GO!' behind me. It's fairly obvious when a bike stalls - you have to kick start it again (several times if you're on my bike!), and the traffic had once again stopped 10m ahead. *BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* 'HELLOOOO! HELLO! SIR! SIR! COME ON GO GO GO! SIR!' Yeah, thanks for that. Wouldn't want to be 10m behind a stationary car. I was fairly close to calmly getting off the bike, putting it on the centre stand in the middle of the road, and going to talk to the driver. Managed to restrain myself. I finally get out onto the open road.

After a few hours I notice an Indian on the side of the road having problems with his bike. I'm not sure I can help, but stop anyway - his chain has come off and the pliers I've bought come in handy. We end up riding the same way for a while and Vikrant demands I come to stay the night at his house in a small village called Barmana. It's proper rural India - no running water, the mother making chipatis over a small wood fire, the milk we drink and ghee we eat is from their cow. I'm welcomed into their home as one of their own, get stuffed with food and get told I'm a 'great man' for helping Vikrant with his bike.

With a friend of his who's a teacher we walk around and up to the local temple, and then have a clandestine beer (their parents would disapprove, although they are both 25+. Interestingly their fathers drink, but don't allow the sons to. Of course the women of any age have no chance). Drinking in India doesn't seem to be a relaxed, social thing - in fact it seems the actual drinking isn't even done for pleasure; each glass is guzzled away as quickly as it's poured, to get maximum 'effect'. It's like being 16 again.

The next morning I try to get going early, but I keep being offered things and being introduced to new family members. I also get an invitation to his brother's wedding (brother is an all-purpose word for male relative, so I'm not actually sure what relation it was) which I duly accept, it's in a week's time. It's all very nice, but I'm a little nervous about getting going - I want to get to Manali before dark and it's a fairly long ride. It doesn't help that when I try to get going there's a problem with the bike, so someone calls a mechanic and I have to wait around for ages, and then have lunch. So it's 1pm before I set off, and I just ride non-stop, getting to manali just before dark. I'm pretty frazzled when I arrive, so it's nice to find a very pleasant guest house with hot water and beer. Cue contented sigh. I end up not doing much for the next few days, except going on a few walks. Oh, and this:

I head down for the wedding, and am once again received with delight. There is a small ceremony that evening, and then a bigger celebration the next morning with full-on dress, a band and dancing, and then we head off in the car (much to my surprise!) to a ceremony in the bride's village, several hours away. Whisky is consumed on the way. More ceremonies, more music, a huge buffet, another whisky.

I go for a walk with a few friends of Vikran, and the idea they have of the West is... well, inaccurate to say the least. One person asks me how many girlfriends I have, on answering none they were visibly shocked, several refusing to believe me. One guy actually believed that women in London walk around the streets in bikinis. He was eager to learn though, asking me many questions about western culture, saying 'this is what I know, what I've been told - teach me, tell me how I'm wrong'.

**Rant warning** Vikran comes over to tell me not to drink any more whisky - I've only had 2, but he's not drinking so I figure I should be a good guest. 10 minutes later and I find him necking neat gin, 30 minutes later and he's staggering around singing. Hrmph. He's also ignoring me and I'm being bombarded by (mainly drunk) people asking me where I'm from; it's getting pretty boring. Indians as a rule don't understand privacy/solitude, or being quiet and being the centre of attention for many hours at a time is pretty much my own personal hell. One guy asks me who my favourite musician is, doesn't wait for an answer, tells me his is Shakira and proceeds to wail the first few bars of 'hips don't lie' - and then does it all again, literally a dozen times. I'm no where near drunk enough for this. I start getting pretty grumpy; am still getting pinched and pulled in 7 directions at once, people demanding I dance so they can take pictures of me, singing terribly, asking me questions. I slip out to go for a walk, but get followed by some people who talk non-stop, and then end up trying to show me pornography (what the hell? how am I supposed to react to that? to be enthusiastic? I guess they weren't expecting a bitter laugh and a 'jesus christ' followed by me walking off, but I really don't see what their goal was). I'm in a really bad mood by this point, and walk for a fair amount of time to find some peace. When I get back everyone thinks I've been throwing up because I'm so drunk (I can't quite express how frustrating it is being totally sober and surrounded by drunks accusing you of being more drunk than them). I try to sit in the corner and read a book - HA! - and spend most of the rest of the night resisting demands for me to dance. I generally love dancing, but I'm in such a bad mood and pretend I'm not feeling well. Not that that deters them. I suppose I can't deny there was a degree of spite in not dancing too. I'll spare you my gloomy ruminations on humanity from the evening - suffice to say it was a low moment of the trip.

The next morning there is more music, more food, more ceremonies, and then we head back. I was hoping to get back early to head to Dharamsala, but we get back to Barmana in the early evening. It seems my insistence that I'm ill has come true, and I feel pretty awful. I feel a lot happier being back in the village though, and get a bit of time to myself. Vikrant gives me some medicine, and then tells me I should get up early the next morning in order to throw up. I decline... I'm feeling better by the morning anyway. I leave with mixed feelings; loving the simple village life and the welcome I'm given, but realising these people are at the core the same as any other, which I find depressing. Still, I'm fond of the family, and when I'm invited back I say I'll try - truthfully.

A pleasant day's ride and I'm in Mcleod Ganj, a Tibetan community for refugees fleeing their homeland, and the home of the Dalai Lama and Tibetan Government in exile. And that's that. Here end my bikey adventures. It's a nice place, and I've been here a while - think I needed a rest!

1200km, 7 towns, 3 throttle cables, 1 bike (part 1)

2009-11-11T06:04:00.000-08:00

I made it to Dharamsala! And I'm still alive, with all my limbs firmly attached! Yay! Though it was not without its scary moments...

So I leave Rishikesh at 9am or so, stocked up with fuel for both bike and myself, and hit the road. I take the route I've driven up a few times, so it's a nice start, and helps me get used to having all my luggage on the bike. It's a great road, awesome scenery, good condition, barely any other cars. So I'm trundling along, take a corner perhaps a tad quickly (which is unusual for me, most of the time up until then I'd been creeping along at 20km/hr twitching nervously thinking 'ohmygodohmygod I'm going to die') when I behold an old lady wandering in the middle of the road. Upon seeing me she panics and starts jumping back and forth, meaning I have to brake somewhat sharply and, due to some handily placed gravel in the road, I slide and come off my bike. Awesome! 3 hours into my journey and I've already narrowly missed a pedestrian and fallen off the bike whilst moving. Back to trundling along at 20 then I guess. (Luckily I'm fine, just a scrape on my arm).

I get lost a few times on the first day, with the signs being few and far between (and most of them in hindi) and the people giving me wrong directions. One detour took me passed an old man who spoke no english but grasped that I wanted to get to a town called Dharasu. He hopped on the back, chattering away non-stop in hindi. It was a while before I realised he didn't actually know the way at all, and just wanted me to take him to Chamba (some way back the direction I'd come) - repeating the words 'ChaaaambA! petrol PUMP... CHAMbaaa... peTROL pump' for about 20 minutes, with various different intonations and stresses. I somehow manage to find the right road, although it's more of a dirt track. The views all around are absolutely fantastic - for an hour or two I'm riding along the side of one of India's biggest hydroelectric dams; sun setting, mountainous background. They're fairly controversial actually since many villages were flooded to allow their contruction (you can see the tops of trees and telegraph poles emerging from the water), but DAM they make good scenery (see what I did there)

Sometime after this my first throttle cable breaks. At this point I'm a total novice when it come to bike repairs, and in fact hadn't even bought basic tools for the trip, vaguely planning to buy them somewhere along the line, or assuming nothing would go wrong. I had some spares though and flag down a passing biker who fixes it for me pretty quickly. I make sure to note what he's doing so I can do it myself if it happens again.

Some hours later, as it's getting dark, I stop and ask for the town I'm heading for and am told it's back in the direction I came. It gets reeeaal cold up in the mountains at night, and Indian roads are not ones you want to be driving on in the dark (pot holes/unmarked speed bumps/landslides) so decide to call it a night and ask for the nearest guest house. 5km in the other direction they say. 15kms later and I find a tiny shop, the owner of which tells me it's 40km further until Chamba (the town I'd passed through 4 hours earlier) and the nearest guest house. Ugh. Someone overhears though and offers a truckers' sleeping stop, 'very simple' they say, but that's a-okay with me.

Until I get inside, and there's the world's second biggest spider scuttling around on the wall. I don't mind being in a crowded cafe with an awesomely huge spider, but sleeping in the same room as one? hm... it's all creepy and swings around on only a few legs like it's enjoying itself. If you shine a torch at it the light reflects of its many, alien eyes. EWWWW. I end up putting up my mosquito net (I know, I'm a wuss) and manage to doze for a while, and set off first thing the next morning.

Taking the advice of the person I met the day before, I head back the way I came, trying to figure out which wrong turning I'd taken. The only vague possibility I could see was a little track heading down the side of the mountain, towards the bottom where there's a huge bridge - maybe that's where I'm supposed to go? It quickly deteriorates and huge rocks are everywhere, and I'm bumping about all over the place. I started thinking I'm probably on the wrong path about 10 minutes in, and then find a person who says 'NOT ROAD!' with surprising forcefulness, so I head back. Which is far more difficult of course because it's uphill - and, riding an enfield (a slightly grumpy one at that), you have to go fairly quickly even in first to stop it stalling. Cue even more bumping on a rocky, wet, slipperly path less than a single lane wide, with a 50ft+ drop to the left and landslide debris to the right. weeee!

I decide the guy who gave me directions was just wrong, and head the way I was going to originally - hell, it's a real road at least. Turns out I'm right and I make my way towards Barakot. The road starts heading through forests and is really beautiful, great to ride through - until my throttle stops working again. ARG. This time it's not the cable but the handle that's broken - where the cable attaches. I flag down another biker and we end up melting the handle together, cable included, and it holds until barakot, where I find a mechanic (who does nothing for the throttle handle incidentally, that's a problem solved, nothing to worry about) and a guest house. Barakot is a pretty small rural village - they obviously get a few tourists in season, but this is very much the end of the season, and I'm stared at even more than usual. Being a foot taller than most Indians and covered in oil generally doesn't help me keep a low profile.

I'm told the way I want to go (across a fairly barren stretch of 'road' through some mountains/forests) has been blocked, so I have to head back south again. It's not exactly the same way I've come, but feels like a bit of a backtrack. The scenery is astounding though:

More riding though tiny villages, giving cute school children lifts, getting stared at by everyone. I get to Poanta Sahib before dark (not without losing another throttle cable - I don't know why, I'm not revving it like a madman or anything. I managed to fix it myself, under the close scrutiny of at least a dozen locals who stop to watch the crazy white man covering himself in oil, which I'm very proud of) It's much bigger than Barakot - definitely a city - but again, this is not the season, and there's not a westerner in sight. I find a mediocre guest house, wash away a few layers of grime with cold water, find a take away curry and a beer (my first in nearly a month, Rishikesh is a completely dry town!) and have a good sleep. Next morning I take the road towards Shimla, one of my main 'destinations' for the journey. The road is wide, straight and generally in ok condition and I actually manage to go at 50-60km/hr for prolonged distances (very rare up to this point) and get there pretty quickly. I check in at the YYYY-M-C-A! and have a tepid shower (an improvement). My room is big and clean, and there are no humongous spiders lurking in every corner. Result!

Shimla is an odd place. An old British hill fort, it was turned into a town after some Brit settlers came here in summer to avoid the clinging dusty heat further south. As a result, it's has a strange feel to it - like an Indian city but with some Britishness hurled at it. There's a few mains streets filled with expensive, western brand shops (nike, addidas, domino's pizza), all extremely clean - littering, spitting and even smoking are illegal and are punishable by fines. Everyone's dressed in smart clothes, looking rich, beautiful and sophisticated. But... kind of boring. There's not a lot to do. Then 50ft down the hill and you're in an Indian market, winding streets with stalls of all varieties, back to the vibrant colours and smells of a more traditional Indian city. I'm not quite sure what to make of it all.

There's also a very disconcerting air raid siren that goes off every day. I'm woken the first morning by a full blown alarm; it's a terrifying sound, and in my sleepy daze I'm slightly worried the world is coming to an end. Next time it goes off I'm outside and no one pays it the slightest bit of attention. They don't even seem to register it; I'm the only one freaked out in the slightest. It's like being in 'The Prisoner' or something.

So anyways I stay here a while, but get a bit bored, and still have had very little human interaction. There are a few English speakers here, but most are 60+ rich Brit retirees, obviously living here because it's the least Indian city in the north of India, and they can still live like the colonial masters they feel like; ordering around locals to carry their bags and bring them food in superiour, lordly tones. Time to leave.

To the mountains! (part 2)

2009-10-16T02:09:00.000-07:00

The next morning, after our breakfast of dhal and roti we head to the valley of flowers. I'm feeling a bit 'bowelarily tumultuous' as I put it, so the walk is punctuated by...stops... but it's a much easier walk than the day before and the views are stunning.

I head back a bit early as I'm not feeling great, realising as I get back that Tyler has the only key to our room, and have a nap in an open spare room. When I wake it's dark and I find no sign of Tyler or Gribb. Downstairs no one has seen them either, and a czech couple said they saw them a few hours before and that they were trying to find a lake, deep into the valley. They also said it's a crazy idea and hoped they'd changed their minds. The woman speaks some hindi and talks to the locals, who are starting to worry, and she tells me there is a real danger of bears, who come out at night to eat.

I have a fairly hyperactive imagination and had idly thought about one or more of us being eaten by bears many hours earlier but I do it just to pass the time, without any expectation or worry. As the locals start amassing a search party to go into the hills I begin to wonder if one of my crazy daydreams might actually be coming true. When I get up to go with them they tell me they know the area and will be quicker without me which, having seen some locals on the paths, I don't doubt. I also had fallen in the river on the way back earlier and my spare clothes are locked away in my room, so realise it's probably sensible to stay behind. A hypothermic cheesies wont help the search. The minutes tick by...

After an hour or so, we hear shouting, see lights and our hotel owner carrying a huge flaming torch with a triumphant grin on his face. Tyler and Gribb follow closely behind.
"Where have you been you crazy bastards!" I yell in mock outrage.
"You were worried, huh? Yeah, I would've been too." Smiles all round.
Turns out they simply misjudged the time - though Gribb had started a 1hr+ steep unpathed hill-climb as it was getting dark, and he was not to be persuaded otherwise. Tyler turned back, and after a little while, in a rare moment of rationalisation (or self-preservation?), Gribb changed his mind and turned back too.

After our dhal and roti, Tyler gets us invited to a 'party'. I wish I'd got a video - it was just a bunch of old, very drunk Indians singing and staggering around a campfire. The entire village is there (perhaps a dozen people) and they are delighted to see us; shaking our hands non-stop, standing us up, sitting us down, trying to teach us a local dance (uncoordinated drunken stagger is more accurate!) We leave pretty quickly.

The day after we head to Hemkund - a temple 4.5km above sea level in the mountains. Gribb made himself throw up the contents of his stomach the night before because of indigestion from the roti ("roti is very strong food - make fire in belly") and diarrhea took care of the other end, so when he says he plans to not eat anything all day, we're surprised to say the least.
"You ever hiked for 8 hours without food before?" Tyler asks.
"I fine, I just have water, and sun energy." And he faces the sun, palms up, eyes closed. While he has his breakfast, we have ours: guess what?

It's not an easy walk; only 6km each way but it's a 1.5km climb so it's fairly steep. Gribb is, not surprisingly, struggling and turns back halfway. We're very glad we carried on.

The night is so cold I can't sleep. I'm wearing 4 long-sleeved tops and a hoodie, and hiding under the duvet but still am shivering uncontrollably. I feel worse and worse throughout the night, and by the morning I've got the works - aching joints and muscles (or 'moooskles' as Gribb calls), slight fever, headache, cough, cold and the runs. It's going to be a fun 14km hike back, I think grimly.

Turns out to be ok, weather is good, and I feel a bit better once I get moving. More naked swimming/being frozen from Gribb, more flirting with beautiful women from Tyler. We meet Shankie, an friendly Indian (are there any other kind?) who we passed on the way back from Hemkund, turns out he is doing the entire Govindghat - Hemkund trek in 48 hours, camping out at Hemkund. I can only imagine how cold that must have been. We walk together for the rest of it, and he is heading Rishikesh-wards too, and gets us sorted with a bus back, leaving 4.30am the next morning. Tyler is heading to Nepal though and gets a different bus, so we say our goodbyes ("lets hug it out, bitch!"). We end up sitting out on the street all night - possibly not the best idea considering my state but oh well - and finally get our bus. Not the funnest 12-hr bus ride I've ever had, but we make it back finally and I trudge to find a guesthouse in a daze. I have my first hot shower since arriving in India, and I can't quite put into words how good it is.

So that's that! Back in Rishikesh now, heading off tomorrow on the enfield. Wish me luck! I'm gunna need it...

To the mountains! (Part 1)

2009-10-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

Tyler, a friendly American I've been spending a fair amount of time with over the last few weeks, is planning a trip to the mountains; the valley of flowers and Hemkund, and says I should come along. On the surface we're fairly contrasting characters, (him a loud, open American, me a quiet, reserved Brit) but we have many deeper similarities and get on well. Plus he plays loads of poker - what's not to like? He also invites a Russian named Gribb... I guess I should explain about him now.

Gribb Gribb Gribb. Where to begin. I suppose a good place to start might be the fact that he named himself Gribb (Russian for mushroom I think) after a mushroom shaman, and when we asked his real name he wouldn't tell us, saying (please imagine the accent) "that is not me. I am not my name. I am not my biografia". He later won't allow us to take pictures of him because it would 'steal his energy', and tells us he's burnt all the photos of him that he can get his hands on ("I am not me. I am not human. I am nothing. How can you save nothing?"). This is a particular shame because he has a floppy Mohawk with shaved head either side, a penchant for bright or neon clothes ("is very acid!") and several funky ear-bar things. It's quite nice not being the crazy foreigner and center of attention for a while! Every local we pass either laughs, shouts something like "Good hairstyle my friend!" or just stares open mouthed for minutes on end.

His beliefs... I got most of it in one huge dollop the first night I met him. I wish I'd had a tape recorder or something, I've forgotten most of it, but suffice to say my jaw was on the ground the entire evening - some of the stuff he was coming out with was just... WOW.

He believed the world as we know it will end in 2012 because of the Mayan calendar (given to us by aliens thousands of years ago, along with the pyramids and various other things), he believed there are aliens on the moon, on mars, on earth, he believed you could survive on nothing but 'universal energy' and claimed to have gone 4 and a half days without food or water. He believed technologies in films like The Matrix and Total Recall exist and are kept secret by governments across the world. I think my favourite was his belief that when the poles melt after the apocalypse in 2012, the lost city of Atlantis will be free from its icy prison under the North pole and float to the surface, replete with 5-metre tall gods with strange skulls (pictures of which he assured us he'd seen) possessing special powers such as teleportation and telekinesis. I kid you not. It was incredible! And I honestly believe that he honestly believed it. I got to utter the words 'sorry, why are there demons in babies' minds?' which brought me great joy.

I asked him, somewhere towards the end of the evening, where he got all this information. Can you guess what he said? 'The internet'. I'd tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't help laughing (or should that be loling?). As one of the others said afterwards, 'some people shouldn't be allowed on the internet'.

So that's a not-so-brief intro to Gribb - the kind of person who comes out with sentences like "I fly.... outside of matrix!" with seemingly no context, that send me and Tyler into giggles. In short, he's bat-shit crazy, but enormously good fun. As Tyler points out, he adds a bit of life and energy into our group.

Ok... So the whole trip starts out pretty weirdly. We book a jeep for 6am, I turn up at 5:40, stick around for an hour and find no trace of Tyler, Gribb or jeep. I find Gribb and Tyler the next day, it seems they overslept, but I have no idea where the jeep was. We book it again, found my team this time, waited for an hour (which included over-friendly cows and a very spaced out lady who sat with us for ages howling at the moon) and then got told the jeep wasn't leaving because it wasn't full. Third time's the charm, and we finally take the 8hr bump-fest to Joshimath. From there we get a ride to get a ride to Govindghat, the starting point for the hike to Ghangaria.

Govindghat is eerily empty, not quite a ghost town, but certainly dying (or hibernating - the season is all but over). We are the only tourists, and the few locals we meet all seems to be emptying they're possessions into trucks (in a disconcertingly hasty, almost panicky manner) or huddled around fires of burning rubbish. We manage to get a room at the only open guesthouse, get told by several people that the valley of flowers is closed and there are no places to stay, but Gribb is insistent everyone is lying, and that we should go. "You think of problem, make problem! There is no problem" We try to explain dying of exposure or starvation would be problems whether we think about them or not, but he doesn't quite get it. We find one person who says there are things still open, and of course he's not lying - everyone else had 'bad energy'. We decide this craziness is why we brought Gribb along, and set out the next morning anyway. The walk up to Ghangaria begins wonderfully, a winding path following a tributary of the Ganga with the Himalayas in the background. I gaze hungrily at the view wishing I had photographic memory and mourn the fact the photos won't do it justice (not bad though):

Along the way we stop beside the river for Gribb to have a swim. It's glacial water, and putting my foot in for more than 5 seconds causes pain. I turn and see Gribb, absolutely butt-naked (as Tyler would say) dunking himself into the river over and over with a huge grin on his face. He emits a high-pitched roll of the lips, sounding like a Pokemon - 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeee!' Then his signature choking noise, that I imagine to be similar to that of a strangled duck, and then a spit. KKKKARH-spit.

The end of the 14km walk gets tougher and we're pretty tired by the time we get to Ghangaria. It's even quieter than Govindghat , we see maybe 3 or 4 people. We find there is an open guest house though, and they serve food. It's starting to get dark and frighteningly cold; Tyler is shivering like crazy - I suspect he has a touch of hypothermia but he feels better after some dhal and roti (our diet for the next 4 days). Our room has no electricity, the toilet doesn't work, and the gaps in the doors and windows mean it's the same temperature inside as it is outside. It's certainly below zero at night as the edges of the river freeze over, and we spend the nights fully dressed and shivering.

What an eyesore....

2009-09-30T01:58:00.000-07:00

So it seems I wasn't content with one infection, so I decided to get conjunctivitis too. It's only in one eye at the moment, but everything I've read about it assures me that it'll spread to the other eye soon, so there's that to look forward too (update: yup, both eyes). Yay! Actually my leg hasn't leaked strange-coloured fluid for a while so maybe it's a replacement infection rather than an extra one.

*sigh*

Oh well, at least it gives me an excuse to wear my sunglasses at all times and look incredibly cool.

So nothing much has happened since my last post. I've been reading a lot, drinking lots of tea, playing a lot of cards. It's been fine, but very slow and quiet, feeling like making a move. Been on a few bike rides up into the mountains which were amazing:

Amazing scenery, freewheeling the full 50km home, getting used the bike. Fun! But on one of the trips I bashed the exact square inch of burn that I really really needed not to (of course) which resulted in much blood and pain and delaying of recovery so I wont be doing any more until it's healed. Really looking forward to the next leg of my journey; worked out a route through the mountains up north to shimla, bypassing the huge cities and scary traffic. Will be great to see some tiny villages too, get away from the tourist trail for a while.

Seen some fun things, went to an arti - religious ceremony with singing, drums and fire next to a big statue of Shiva on the edge of the Ganges:

Also saw what was almost definitely the world's biggest spider:

Kind of hard to get the scale, but it was a good 10"x10". I was leaning against a wall when everyone I was with looked just above my head and went 'OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!??!?!?!1' so that was fun. It was in the middle of a heavy downpour of rain, so I think it was taking cover - apparently they hardly ever go near humans. Didn't stop me from checking under my bed when I got home though.

Biking in Relaxikesh

2009-09-21T01:27:00.001-07:00

So we arrive in Rishikesh, and head to one of the main market/guesthouse areas. It's early in the morning, and crossing the ganges with the sun rising and the monkeys swinging about the bridge wires - it's a pretty darned cool welcome.

One of the locals:

We wander around, drink lots of chai and lemon tea, and find a great restaurant on the bank of the ganges with possibly the world's smiliest waiter. We also find an advert for a Royal Enfield Bullet - the quintessential bike for touring India. I'd been doing a bit of biking back in Britain with the hopes of doing some in India, so we try getting in contact with the owner, with no luck, but the idea is planted in our heads and we go on a bike hunt. We meet a very friendly Indian who is here on holiday and is clearly fairly wired on charras. He is wandering the same way we are and we keep bumping into each other and eventually he offers to help us find a bike, since he rides himself and is looking to rent one. I'm fairly dazed at this point, it's dark, we have no idea where we are, and we're trying to buy a motorbike with no idea how much I should be paying or what a good bike is, and one that I'm not sure I can ride, and am certainly not legally allowed to ride. Anyways, after settling on a good price for a nice bike that was about 10,000 rps less than I was expecting thanks to our Indian friend (27,000, about 350 pounds, all inclusive with insurance/luggage racks, etc) we sit and have a chai with the friendly man, I calm down, and I decide to go for it:

They tell me to ride it around for the day to get a feel, first to go the petrol station just down the road. I'm pretty nervous, not only because I've never ridden anything half this big, or because of the Indian roads, but also because I'm sitting outside a motorbike shop with tons of bikers outside clearly judging me. Obviously 100 meters down the road I fall off into the gutter and get covered in sewage. Standard. In my defense, the brakes and gears are on different sides than in Britain so instead of braking I changed into 2nd (the gears are also opposite, down for higher gears) but yah, not my finest moment. I ride around the petrol station a bit getting a feel for it, then try with my friend on the back (yeah, the first time on a much bigger bike with a passenger with different controls on insane roads in a different country is a great idea, I know I know) and we go buy helmets. We ride around a bit and find some awesome scenery on mountain paths:

There are a few scary moments, clipping a rickshaw on the busy inner city streets, a few (ok, about 3 bazillion) problems with things like turning around/maneuvers, and at one point we turn a corner where a bus is speeding towards us and there is absolutely no room so we get pushed to the side, both burning our legs on the silencer. We carried on our way, but deciding that going long distances with a passenger simply wasn't going to happen - or if it did, something bad and painful would happen. The ride back is fine though, and really nice. I drop Ali off and ride back to the shop - which is MUCH easier without him - for a few minor adjustments... (a huge iron pole and 6 men bending the engine guard thing back into place after the fall). Then I ride back to our hotel (in the dark + potholes and unmarked speed bumps + getting lost = eeeeeek) and finally get back to our room and have a small heart attack.

At this point my leg is looking pretty yellow from the burn - it doesn't hurt but then I read on the internet that it's probably because it's at least a 2nd degree burn and so the nerves have been burnt. So I head to a hospital (which is clean and westerny to my relief) and get attention almost immediately. First the doctors cleans the burn, then brings out a razor which makes me a little nervous, then he leans in to the wound and as he makes contact the lights cut out. So I'm a little freaked out, but he just starts shaving the hair around my leg, so I calm down. Until, that is, he starts cutting off the skin around and inside the burnt area. Slicing inside infected, burnt dermis with a razor without anesthetic is... not unpainful. So I chew my fingers off for a while, he sorts me out, prescribes some antibiotics and I pay a few hundred rupees. I was kind of laughing the whole way through, certainly an experience!

Which kind of takes it to now - I've been doing very little the last few days, I'm not supposed to walk much or get it wet, and have to go back every day for new bandages/to check on the infection. I sort of wish I'd taken a picture of the wound actually, but it'd just worry family members/put off other readers. Was pleasingly disgusting though, looked like the flesh of an orange covered in yellowy milk. ...yeah that was more graphic than strictly necessary.

aaaanyways, I've rambled for faaar too long - I have a lot of free time since I can't do much. Reading back it sounds kind of negative or like a bit of an ordeal but I've honestly been having an amazing time... there were a few unpleasant bits, but I'm just in a constantly good mood at the moment. It's been really nice just reading, meeting travelers and drinking lots of tasty lemon tea - it's a very relaxed place, peaceful and beautiful.

Time for some mutter pannier and roti methinks!

It begins... Delhi and onwards

2009-09-18T05:10:00.000-07:00

Namaste! I'm in a little web cafe in a leafy suburb of Rishikesh right now, having a very slow lazy day, which was what I needed.

Anyway, yeah, blogging... um... where to begin... arriving. Right. so. Ok, yes. Brain function. Ok.

I arrive in Delhi at 10am (flight cancelled, 4 hour wait, funtimes) get 'screened' for swine flu (form saying 'do you have swine flu: yes/no') and head out, get a prepaid taxi to the train station, which is an experience in itself. Indian roads are fairly infamous - I enjoyed every minute of the ride. 2 lane roads holds 4 lanes of cars, rickshaws, bikes, motorbikes, mopeds, cycle rickshaws reversing towards the oncoming traffic, donkeys, cows all wandering/swerving about all over the place, everything honking or mooing incessantly. I actually saw a motorbike park in front of a tree on an empty pavement and beep 3 times. They just can't help themselves!

As soon as I arrive at the train station I realise finding my friend is going to be nearly impossible. There must be 500 people around the entrance, and I get approached several times immediately telling me to go buy tickets at a special foreigners booth (yah, nice try). I figure it's probably not the best place to hang around looking lost, so I head across the street to parahganj (a popular backpacker area in delhi) and end up bumping into my friend in the small winding market streets, we have some food, and book a train to haridwar for that night to end up in rishikesh. We have some time so we go to India's biggest mosque:

Me in a very fetching skirt as shorts weren't allowed (definitely the new fashion, I've always been a trend-setter)

So anyways, we experience some more delhi madness which really is hard to describe... just an all out assault on the senses. Amazing though. And then we get our AC3 train (very nice, beds and sheets, and 8 hour journey, cost less than a fiver) My friend ali tells me about the last train journey he took where a man got into the (very thin) bed with him and started stroking him, so I guess there are possible downsides... (or perks depending on your point of view I suppose)

We meet a very friendly man on the train and talk to him for a while, he tells us he is going to an ashram in Rishikesh (where we are heading) to seek medicine from a guru for his father. He shows us his father's files and it turns out he has untreatable lymphatic leukemia, and is hoping he will find a cure at the ashram. We wish him the best of luck. We meet him again just outside the station in haridwar and he buys us a chai and biscuits and we talk some more, before finally getting a rickshaw to rishikesh, a spiritual city, famous for the beatles' visit in the 60s. We don't plan on too much spirituality, but some peace from the madness of delhi will be welcome.

That's enough for now, but the next installment includes the ganges, buying a motorbike, major 2nd degree burns + infections and lots of tasty curry. Hooray!

GUKPT, and leaving on a high

2009-09-08T07:27:00.001-07:00

I went GUKPT cardiff last week, I had a seat in the main event, and I played 2 side events. Predictably I bricked everything. Lost hooooge pots for the chiplead on the final 2 tables in both the side events, one losing a flip, the other getting it in on the turn with 75% equity, sigh. The main event was, as always, an anticlimax, as my stack dwindled and then got it in with the overpair and get 2 outered.

However... I had a pretty awesome weekend online, netting about $18k. Won a $75 for $10k, 2nd in a massive $26 for 8.6, and 9th in a $163 for 3.5, all on FT. weeee! Very nice as I had a horrible july and ended up roughly breaking even in august (somehow?!) so good to end on a positive note poker-wise.

No more poker for a while though... I fly out to Delhi on friday. eeek! Pretty damn excited. I think I'm going to turn this into more of a travel blog when I'm away if I get the chance - I got a fancy new digital camera for my birthday so hopefully there'll be pictures aplenty.

Anyways... back in 6 months I guess. Good Luck at the Tables!

Filling in the whole...

2009-08-07T04:04:00.000-07:00

Been a really good week, just what I needed. Up just under $10k, lots of it from getting my 2nd biggest score ever yesterday, winning a huge field $26 mtt on tilt for $8.3k. weeeee! Hopefully I can have a good month as it will be the last month I play for the next 6-8.

Talking of which... I've finally decided on my travel plans. India! Flying to delhi in a month and meeting a friend there, and we'll head north up to a place called Ladakh in the jammu and kasmir region for some mountain trekking and maybe rafting. My friend only has a few weeks, so he'll be heading back.

I'll be heading to Dharamsala - a small town with lots of Tibetan refugees and either working for an NGO for a while, or simply teaching english to any locals that want it (apparently lots). Probably stay there month, and end up back in Delhi. Then I'm hoping to buy a motorbike (doing my motorbike restricted license in a few weeks) and bike around the deserts of Rajasthan for a while, not sure how long - kind of depends how much I like the whole biking thing. If I'm not hugely struck on it then I'll head back to Delhi to sell the bike, but either way I'll be hugging the western coast, going through Mumbai, Goa, all the way to Kerala in the south. I have an Indian friend who said Kerala is his favourite part of India, and if I find a place I like I might live there for a month or two.

That should take me to about 5 months maybe, so if I have time I'll head back up north, just depends on time really.

Pretty damn excited!!

Thank god july's over

2009-08-02T04:52:00.001-07:00

July was great fun off the tables - I went camping in the gower with friends (sunny!), to visit my family in Oslo and went to womad, all of which were top.

On the felt however, I put in 6 sessions, -$3552, -$1990, -$4713, -$1479, +$500 and -$2990 for a total loss of $14,224. Fun times! The last few sessions my game was a bit off, but the beginning of the month I felt I was playing well. Kinda made me rethink BR management. 14k is roughly 140 average buyins for me, and it happened in six sessions. Granted they were impressively bad sessions, but to think that in 6 sessions I can lose over a third of my online roll on a 140 buyin downswing is kind of crazy... going to leave off some of the slightly tougher/more expensive games off my weekly schedule until I get back to $30k online (like the stars $50r and $100 1r1a). Hopefully this wont be a common thing...

Thankfully played a session last night and got august off to a good start, booking a profit of $4k.

August = reverse July plz.

weeeeee

2009-07-02T06:45:00.001-07:00

zoopzoop! Finally got a 5 figure score. Had a very deep HU match at the end with improved - ranked 13th in the world at pkt 5s. For someone who's won millions of dollars online he was unbelievably classless, calling everyone on the final table an idiot (in a $55 mtt? seriously? ever heard the saying 'don't tap the glass'?!) and had a hilarious legion of followers on the rail being even worse. Which made the win even more satisfying :D Improved was gracious in defeat though, signing off with a 'gfy'. Nice.

It's interesting what people take from poker. Working hard and getting reasonably competent at poker gives me confidence in one area of my life, which is a nice change. But maybe if you aren't a neurosis-riddled inferiority complex on legs, getting successful at poker turns you into a narcissistic ego-bag of douchey proportions. Maybe I am but just don't recognise it. Ho hum. Either way I don't understand how you can get to 13th in the world, win hundreds of tournaments and millions of dollars, and still get pissy when some guy cracks your AK with TJs in a $55 freezeout.

Glastonbury trip report

2009-07-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

I get to the station to get the bus at 11am wednesday morning, meet a friend in the queue and we leave at 11.30. We hear the 10am bus hasn't arrived yet due to a small accident, so we might be a few hours. Nevermind, we'll be there by 1 or 2 at the latest. OH WAIT - 9 hours later and we are still on the bus. This is the 25-mile journey from Bristol to Glastonbury - we are averaging 2-3 miles/hr. But it's a nice day, most people are walking alongside the bus and stopping at the pubs along the way, and when finally arrive at 9.30pm everyone cheers. James, who I'm camping with, has already arrived and put up our tent (score!) so I dump my stuff, and spend the rest of the day wandering around and intoxicating myself. hurray!

I wake early on thursday as the tent is BOILING. We spend the day doing more lazy wandering and intoxicating, and see a few random music things. It's a lovely day, so just sitting back at the tents chatting is great too. In the evening I go wandering, mind slightly fuzzy, and catch the end of Bristol band The Hand (rachael dadd+1) who are wonderful, and then I find myself dancing next to the rinkydink (set of speakers on a bike) with a bunch of guys in suits riding giant, luminous bug-shaped space hoppers. No, really. That'll be glasontbury then...

Rained a bit during the night, but nothing major. I meet with some friends at 12 to see Regina Spektor - I'm not a huge fan but it's nice to see my friends from Bristol. Next I head to the Jazz/World stage for the Hot 8 Brass Band, and then over to the dance area for lively reggae/ska/dub band Dreadzone which is very good fun. I meet my dad at reggae oldies Steel Pulse, and buy lemon Brothers cider and Pieminister pie. This is a good day.
At 9 I meet a group of friends at The Glade to go see Beardyman (awesome uk beatboxer) play with The Bays, who are a kind of dance/club type act but it's all improvised on the spot. They also have a super amazing drummer, which appeals to me as I've played drums for a long time. My friends don't enjoy it particularly but I think it's awesome - but then I'm in a bit of a silly state and would probably think most things are awesome. After dancing like a nutcase for an hour I head back to the tents and meet with some people there. We smoke for a while and have some 'hippie crack' (laughing gas - me feeling fairly fuzzy already makes this the most mindblowing 2 minutes ever. full on music in my head, light show, the works) After a while we head to The Park for a late night set by Fourtet. It hasn't started when we arrive, so we meet a friend of mine in the silent disco for some amusing noiseless fun, and then head to Fourtet, who are disappointing as it's a dj set, instead of the plinky-plonky niceness they play themselves. Me and James wander for a while, and then head back to the tents for sleep.

Another boiling morning, and I'm feeling a little fragile from the day before. I head to the Jazz/World bleary-eyed to meet my dad and we see Tenariwen who are fantastic. I meet up with James, we get a little silly and then go see Spinal Tap, who are suitably ridiculous/funny, and have guest appearances by Jamie Cullum and Jarvis Cocker. We head to The Park for the end of the Easy Star All Stars playing Radiodread, James heads to work (he's working for his ticket) and I lie around in the hot sun for legendary reggae oldie Horace Andy, who puts on a great show. My dad texts to say he's playing the Croissant Neuf at 8, which promptly leads to me falling asleep and missing it. I head to the jazz/world again instead to see Baaba Maal - top class Senegalese pop, and then head to The Park for Bon Iver, who has the crowd swooning with their chilled, beautiful melodies. I hang around a bit with friends, and end up going to bed fairly early as it's absolutely freezing and I'm feeling knackered.

Yet another stifling morning gets everyone up before they'd like. I go for a festival-wide wander, and bump into a friend from Bristol, and we go see The Destroyers, who are a 12-17 piece loud gypsy band. Needless to say they are good fun. I then head to the pyramid stage for international world music superstars Amadou and Mariam who are great, and then head to the other stage to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I'm excited about this gig and it doesn't disappoint - easily my highlight of the festival, and I am in an unbelievably good mood. We sit around a while, and then head to camp out at the Pyramid stage again, for Nick Cave and Blur. Nick Cave puts on a great show, and as soon as it ends there's a surge to the front for blur. We manage to get a decent spot fairly near the front, and spend the next two hours singing along to hit after hit. They aren't great to be honest, but everyone is having a good time - including frontman Damon Albarn who is so overcome he breaks down sobbing mid-song.
I'm starting to fade towards the end, and with a friend from Bristol and her friends I wander around slowly - wandering though Shangri La at night is awesome, tons of tiny 'side streets' with club-type things and music in lots of little tents and hidden corners. I'm feeling good, but then it gets cold, starts to rain very heavily and I'm very tired, dont have a coat or jumper, and am wearing my sandals. I get soaked through and my feet are caked in mud (i'd be disappointed if it hadn't happened at least once!) and eventually we head back to her tent to get her stuff, as they're all getting a 3am train. We wander to the entrance, I see them off and wander back very slowly (partly because I'm tired, partly to stop myself falling over - the mud is very slippy) feeling a bit shit.

When I get back to camp, clean my feet and get a jumper I cheer up though, and pack away our tent ready for James to finish work at 6am and we can head straight off to miss most of the queues. I manage to acquire some smokables, and I sit by myself watching the festival get light. A few of our camp return from various gigs and things and we smoke a few together, talking bollocks and things, all very pleasant. It starts to rain very heavily (I pat myself on the back for predicting rain and moving our stuff into the communal tent bit) and I feel sorry for James stuck outside. He comes back a little while later, absolutely bedraggled and I immediately wave the joint saying 'Come here and smoke this RIGHT NOW' He obliges and then packs up the rest of his stuff. We head off to get the bus, both talking utter jibberish and giggling, until we get to the bus gate and head our seperate ways. I'm feeling really quite silly and manage to get in the queue for the wrong bus several times before finally finding the Bristol bus. I then find out that instead of 1 bus every 30minutes, there has been 1 in the last 4 hours, and there are lots of grumpy people waiting. I sit on my bag in the hot morning sun trying to act vaguely normal, letting everyone else do the shouting, for the next 3 hours. It's quite surreal. Eventually 8 buses turn up at once (to a great cheer from our queue) and we head on to the buses. At this point I've needed the toilet for 4 hours, and had no food or drink for 10 hours and the bus is ridiculously hot, so am feeling slightly uncomfortable. I still manage to sleep almost all the way home though, arrive in bristol at 2pm (7 hours after I got to the buses) and hop in a taxi with a random guy who's been at glastonbury too. We discuss the highlights, and then he gets out and I head home for the wonderful post-glastonbury shower, toilet and sleep. And my god it's good.

A good score and GLASTONBURY!

2009-06-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

Yay glasto! Haven't been thinking about it much, but am starting to get excited. I missed last year (trust me to miss the one sunny year in aaages) and loads of my friends went, and all had a great time. It's not for everyone, and I know it's changed a lot since it started, but I still love it to bits. The people, the place, the atmosphere, the music - it's all amazing. My dad has worked there a lot, when I was young he sold pancakes and now he plays there most years, so I often get free tickets (not this year though). Basically I've been there a lot, and I feel its an important event every summer - some fairly major stuff has happened there for me.

It might be a bit weird socially this year though. I have a few good friends from bristol going, but I don't think they're going together, and then there's a big group from sheffield who I kind of know...ish (one or two I know well) - I kind of said I'd go with them, but they're pretty different from my bristol friends. Basically they're a bunch of druggy hippies :P who are all lovely, but my bristol friends aren't into the whole drug scene. I'm kind of in the middle somewhere. meh, i'm sure it'll be fine. I think i'm going to spend most of the time wandering on my own to be honest, trying to meet with people/staying in groups and stuff can get stressful.
Anyways, it's going to be awesome. And please don't rain.

As for pokerz, I've continued having dozens of near misses (10th-18th in a $1001r1a, a $100 FO, a $55 6max, a $77 6max, a $15 FO, a $7r and a $200 FO, and top 30 in a BUNCH more - in the last 2 days) but in my last game yesterday I finally got a score coming 4th in a $163 75k on fulltilt for a profit of 6.5k on the session. sweet! That score quadrupled my month's earnings which is great, nice to be back on track for the $6k+/month I've been hoping for.

The transition to the higher stakes stuff has been a bit rocky, but mostly ok. It's mainly the swings, I'm still not used to spending 2-3k in buyins per session. Still, no massive downswongz yet (touch wood) and I've decided to start cashing out again - it'll be nice to have some 'income'.

Swingy sessions and a warehouse rave

2009-06-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

So I went to a rave a few days ago, and it was pretty damn awesome. I've been to similar-ish things before, but nothing on this scale. Was a massive set of abandoned warehouses, different rooms playing different music, all totally trashed and grimey - pleasingly so. Thousands of people, all there through word of mouth, going bonkers dancing, great fun. Was feeling pretty tired at the beginning of the night, almost didn't go, but very glad I did - there's not much that beats dancing your socks off for 6 hours. Unfortunately it didn't end well. I guess when there are thousands of people possibly not in the most sensible frame of mind in abandoned buildings accidents will happen now and then. On the upper floor you could climb out of the windows onto the roof which was a big square thing where lots of people went to cool down, really nice - got a great view of the sunrise. Anyway, at about 7am there was a flurry of activity and one of our group told us that a girl had fallen from the roof (3 storey fall onto concrete) and the police were on their way. We made a sharp exit, was a strange end to the night. I found out the day after that the girl had survived, but broken her legs. Pretty horrific, but at least she lived and will be fine - frankly I think she was probably pretty lucky, it was a big drop.

So yeah, a slightly odd/subdued end for us but still an amazing night. We ended up going back to a friend's house to wind down for a few hours - a few of my mates had entered a football tournament starting at 10am, and needless to say they were seriously regretting it when the time came! Got to bed 11am, woke up at 5pm, spent the rest of the day shuffling around as you do after a big night out and then slept 13hrs last night. score

On to the pokerz. Played 3 sessions in june so far, -1.2k, -2.2k (I had maybe 1 or 2 mincashes this session, one of the worst sessions I've had in a long time) and +4.7k. Just finished the 4.7k session so I'm feeling positive :) Won 2 $109 mtts, on ipoker for 2k and bwin for $4.5k. Actually came reeeal close to some others, went out 10th in a fulltilt $55 mtt KK < A8 (ace on the river...) and 20th in a pacific $55 too. Still, nice to book some solid results after a rocky start to the month.

Got SUSOP this weekend (sheffield university series of poker) which is a £50 freezeout. Not much of a series, but should be fun, and then back down to bristol next week in time for glastonbury. And lots of online poker in the meantime of course.

Close encounter

2009-06-02T06:11:00.001-07:00

So me and a few friends are sitting in the park, drinking some beer and smoking a few joints, playing the guitar, generally having a lovely summer afternoon. A few of my friends go off to find the loo, and it's just me and my friend Jon. He's telling a story which I find immensely funny and am giggling, as you do.

'What are you laughing at?'

I'm faintly aware something threatening and unpleasant is about to happen, but try to ignore it and carry on talking to Jon.

'I said what the fuck are you laughing at?'
Ah crap. 2 guys approach.
'Nothing, my mate's just telling a story'
'You fucking laughing at us? I'll take that guitar and smash it over your fucking head'
Nothing like a guy who thinks he's Joe Pesci to round off a nice afternoon in the park. Why does this stuff always happen when you're slightly baked?
'Woah chill, we're just sitting enjoying the sunshine, we're not laughing at anybody'

We finally manage to convince them we're not laughing at them, and the guy who's doing all the talking apologises, saying there's 'gang shit' going on. At this point I'll add that my friend has long curly hair and wears cardigans and I was wearing a stripy hippyish shirt and shorts and sandals. Real mafia types.

When he realises we're students and not in a gang from out of town, he clocks us as potential customers and sits down next to us ('oh please god no') and talks about drugs and where to find student parties non-stop for what felt like hours. The quieter guy speaks up and is actually being quite nice, but there was that undertone of 'we almost got beaten up by these guys for no reason, they could easily flip out again' that made it very difficult to relax. Finally our friends came back and we decided it was a good moment to leave without looking like we're running away (which we were). Before we go he insists we take his number in case we need drugs. yah, I'm going to voluntarily meet up with a psycho who almost assaulted me in order to give him money...

Is this legal?

2009-06-01T04:57:00.000-07:00

Just had my 2nd winning sunday in a row - I'm suspicious! That has to be some kind of record, surely? Maybe the poker gods are placating me before dealing me a -100 buyin downswing or something. Final tabled 2 $109 mtts on ipoker, 2nd in a smaller one for $1100 (really good HU match, almost won it a few times but couldn't quite clinch it) and 3rd in a bigger one for $3100. Probably cashed for about 6k total, about $2.5k profit. Yay! Reached 20k online which is great, feel I'm able to take a shot at the majors without satting now, although I wont be buying in to $150+ mtts during the week, want to keep to the softest possible fields for now.

Pretty pleased with how everything's going pokerwise at the moment. I think I'm playing well and I'm actually progressing in terms of bankroll and stakes, which I haven't done in a long time. I've been a bit slack organising other things though. REALLY need to figure out what I'm doing this winter, can't stay in the UK. Not just because I'll feel crap, but I literally wont be able to do anything. Poker's off the cards (ba-boom tish) since SAD makes me tilt and lose bankrolls (I really really reeaaally don't want it to happen a 3rd time) so I'll have nothing to do, so I'll lie around feeling miserable, so I'll play poker. And lose bankrolls. Basically I need to phone this guy about a teaching placement in senegal who hasn't been replying to my emails, but I'm lazy and don't like phoning people. If that doesn't work out I have some decisions to make - and I'm really no good at making decisions.

Having said that, the 1 big decision I've made recently -dropping out of uni- I definitely feel was the right one. Even hearing about people's exams just makes me squirm, especially language oral exams... ewww. Hate them soo much. I always did fine, just... ugh, I'd just wake up and immediately start worrying, even in normal term-time without exams. I love being able to wake up and not worry about everything.

2 more winnings sessions, woop

2009-05-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

so on monday I finally got the win, a $109 mtt on ipoker for ~$3.6k, which was pretty sweet. Ran pretty good, but played ok too. Then tonight I luckboxed a $216 turbo mtt final table on fulltilt, came 4th for $4.6k. yay! Was 6handed and I went into the FT with the chiplead, was eyeing up the 14k for 1st, but wasnt to be, carddead+weakish play+cooler. Still, a much appreciated boost to the roll.

Hope this continues...

What's this? A winning sunday? Surely not...

2009-05-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

No massive scores, but came 2nd in a small $100 6max tourney for 1.7k and 5th in a $75 6max tourney for 1.9k, had a few other small cashes and ended up about +$1.5k on the session (sundays are expensive). Nice to have a winning session, had a few more frustrating sessions before this one. I mean, in a way it's great, every session I've played since I got back I've had a bunch of really deep runs, often at least 1 final table. It's just a shame I haven't been able to convert any of them so far and so am down over the last week.

Finally got around to buying HEM, did some leakfinding and was pleasantly surprised, no glaring holes in my game or anything. Also looked back over some HHs and again was pleased to see not too many hands that made me recoil in disgust, so I'm feeling positive. Lets see what happens...

Welcome back!

2009-05-21T04:09:00.000-07:00

So I've had 3 days of the most frustrating grinding ever. yay! An insane amount of near misses. Like, silly amounts. I could easily be +$20k if a few hands went different ways. Instead I'm stuck a few $k. boooooooo. The good thing is that I feel I'm playing well, and my concentration has been good, especially yesterday (6 near misses) - a decent score has to come soon.

Doesn't it?

Back!

2009-05-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

So I've finally returned from distant lands. After the hitch to zadar I decided to stay out there for a few weeks, went round croatia, bosnia herzegovina and montenegro, and flew back from budapest today. Had a really awesome time, was totally what I needed. I, however, now have a slight urge to play poker.

OH GOD I MISS POKER.

ahem. Too tired to play tonight, but gonna play a big session tomorrow I imagine. And probably every day I can possibly manage it for the mext 3 months. So yeah, lots of grinding, going to play some more live tourneys if I can - I've decided that some of money I have saved up isnt doing me much good lying around earning .25% interest or whatever, so I'm going to invest it in poker instead. yay! There's my gukpt seat to use, either luton or cardiff probably, and i'll try and make the monthly £300 at DTD whenever I can. There's also the £1k there in a week or 2, which I'll try and get a seat for.

Hoping to start playing more of the higher buyin games online too now that I'm actually building a roll. March was the rebuild from the $800 I had left after my xmas blowup, now I have a decent roll and no need to cashout. Hoping to reach 20k online by the end of june, so soon I can start playing majors without faffing about with sats. Still thinking about getting a coach too for a little bit, depends on what my plans are in the long term... seems a little pointless if I'm only around for a couple of months and then disappear for 6 months and not play a hand. we'll see.

I'm actually excited about grinding tomorrow - nothing like a break to renew enthousiasm. Time to catch me some fishies!

Aces suck.

2009-04-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

So I bust the Irish Open soon after the dinner break on day 1. 22bb stack, AA vs 99 aipf, he flops the set and turns quads, weee. Quads are good sir. Happy with the way I played apart from my 1 obligatory blowup hand - shipping it over a flop check/raise vs a shortie with air for some reason. That got me down to 7k from the starting 10k, hovered around there until 150/300, then got the aces. meh, pretty disappointing, but also fairly standard, not like it was some massive beat or anything.

Was going to play cash but just learnt the charge at 1/2 is 8bbs/hr. 8bbs! 32bb/100 to breakeven. Totally insane, my hourly would be waaaaaaay lower than just grinding online, though it seems a bit boring since I'm here. 2/5 is a bit better, but I've heard it plays more like 5/10 since its uncapped, I'm just not rolled for it really. They've got some sngs going with standard 10% rake, so I'll probably play a bunch of 100s/250s if they're running. If I run good I might take a shot at the 1650mtt in a few days, I'll see - I'll need to win about 10 just to cover my beer costs, it's pretty obscene.

Sigh. Not quite what I had in mind for my first major. Oh well, I guess I'll get to see more of dublin this way. Silver lining...

Back from break

2009-04-02T07:40:00.001-07:00

So I'm back from my break, went to Grenobe to visit an old friend which was great, and then to Verbier to visit another old friend, and to try snowboarding. The place itself was weird... full of very posh, insanely wealthy tourists wearing furs and sipping £18 beers (honestly) or arrogant swaggering boarders and skiers, or an intoxicating mixture of the two. So in some ways the town was my own personal hell...but all you had to do was lift your head slightly you and see this:

Which kind of made it all ok! Was just stunning. Boarding was fun, though pretty painful... got ok towards the end of the first day, then had far too much to drink and the next day was... well, I struggled. Dizziness, nausea and snowboarding as a beginner really don't go well together. I can laugh about it now though :)

So yeah, had a great time all in all. However, was much more expensive than I was expecting (silly prices for food, boarding stuff and ski passes were insane) so hopefully i can get a few decent sessions in before ireland. Got some family gatherings, but should be able to get 3-4 days worth of playing.

glatt all.

Breakeven

2009-03-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

So I've played quite a bit this last week, though I've been ill so not as much as I'd like. Came pretty close to some big cashes, took down a small tourney for 1.3k, final tabled the pp 20k again, but most of the sessions i've played have been breakeven (which is pretty odd for mtts).

I'm off on my travels tomorrow, so no more poker for me this month. Really pleased with how march went, had 7 4-figure cashes, and ended up ~$10k in profit. as I said in my last post, I really needed a decent start to this whole thing to get me on my feet, went pretty much exactly as planned (slightly better in fact!) so yeah, feeling good. I really think that I'm going to progress a lot as a player in the next few months. The last year has been pretty flat in terms of progress, but I feel that I'm ready to start putting in a lot of hours, and spend a lot of time analysing and improving my play. I've got a cardrunners subscription which has already helped loads, and over at pfu we've started a replay section where we look over entire hhs in the replayer for analysis. I just did one for the 75$ mtt at fulltilt that I finished 6th in a few weeks ago, already noticed several fairly major leaks. Sweet! (well, assuming I block them...)

Also considering getting a coach when I get back from travels at the end of april. There's a few I'd be interested in advertised at the CR forum, and I really think it could help me. Wouldn't be a long term thing (can't afford it!) but 10hours or so of help from a top online pro would amost certainly do me the world of good. going rates are $100-200/hr so it wouldn't be a decision I'd take lightly, but I think it'd pay for itself pretty quickly.

Anyways, that's all for now.

Runs good

2009-03-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

(picture taken from pfu - thanks sqrl!)

Been a good couple of days, with 3 decent final tables; $50mtt - 6th, cashed for $1200, $16mtt at stars - 2nd for $3300 and somehow I managed to come second in a $10 1r1a for $2700, depsite it being the only tourney I was playing for 4 hours and so me being incredibly wasted. Ya know, to pass the time. Was pretty funny! I have vague memories of some pretty huge suckouts, which of course made me giggle like a school girl. Ah, goodtimes. tbh I actually was playing pretty well, just got lucky in some spots. I totally lost it HU though, fairly decent player just crushed me, had nothing left in the ole cheese tank. Or something.

So I'll be grinding for the next 10 days or so, and then things kick off in april:
~1-4 april: visiting friends in france and switzerland (+skiing! never been, excited)
9-14th: Irish open in Dublin. Obviously this is going to be awesome.
16th-25th: Hitch-hiking to Zadar, Croatia. Really looking forward to this too.

Will be nice to get out of the country for a bit! Anyways, glatt all.

Good start.

2009-03-04T18:13:00.000-08:00

So that's my main score for the last few days. Been playing this tourney for like 2 years, finally took it down, feels awesome :D Apart from this I've had a few frustrating days of no results, and 1 final table, $75mtt, finished 6th for ~$3k. Was probably the sickest exit in any tournament I've ever played - allin on turn with top set, he rivers the gutshot. $16k for first. Was absolutely livid at the time, but still feels nice to rack up some scores - have about 8k online now, bit of breathing room. aaaahh deep sigh of relief.

Got most of my totals from all the poker clients I've played at, not as bad as it could've been. About $12k less than the last total I counted up, which isn't wildly off what I thought, lost about 10k over xmas, and ignoring another few k isn't unlike me... but anyways, onwards and upwards. Let's get that 12k back ;)

Right!

2009-02-28T16:34:00.001-08:00

Time to sort my shit out. The last 3 months I've been pissing about, not keeping records, and generally hemmoraging money all over the place. Time for direction, organisation, focus.

The big bit of news is that I've left uni, at least for now. Assorted medical and personal problems meant that xmas was a write-off in terms of uni work (and poker...sigh, byebye bankroll), so I'm months behind on work. That wouldn't be too much of a problem in itself, but the crux of it is uni really isn't what I want to be doing right now. It was always a filler as I had no clue what I wanted to do after a-levels, and I never really enjoyed it. I'm not in a place where I can just get through it for the sake of it - I need to do things I enjoy and am motivated in or else I'm just going to grind to a halt.

I should clarify that I'm not leaving uni to be a 'poker pro' or anything. Although I suppose poker will be my only income for a while... I'm in a lucky position being fairly well off financially and having zero responsibilities, so I'm going to do what I've wanted to for a while - lots of travelling and teaching english. Hopefully going to teach in dakar, senegal for 6 months this winter, if not there are hundreds of teaching organisations all over the place. I was diagnosed with S.A.D. (I think this is the reason the last two years I've gone all tilty and dropped $10k in januray/february) a few months ago, so my plan for the next few years is basically: poker + stuff I enjoy in the uk for 6 months in the summer, travelling and teaching for 6 months in the winter. Man, I hope it's as good as it sounds.

So, on to the poker. Well after the xmas crash I've been hovering around busto online, and putting in a load of sngs on ipoker. Almost earnt my GUKPT seat, which is nice, though have been running pretty bad, which is less nice. I'm now truly sick of sngs, so it's back to mtts for the foreseeable. Slowly getting back into them the last few days, no results to speak of yet. This would be a really really nice time to run good; little bankroll, big life changes, self doubts... cue 100 buyin downswing :P Probably will make some major redeposits at some point unless I have some big scores soon.

Decided it was about time I actually worked out how much I am up (hope it's up!) at poker, lifetime. I have a horrible feeling I'm in for a nasty surprise... I'm very guilty of ignoring/rounding down losses and exagerating wins. I've requested my complete deposit/withdrawal histories from all the sites I've ever played at (took bloody ages), waiting for the results now. Finger's crossed.

Sorry for super long post, it's been a while. Good luck at the tables!

Back to the grind, some live donkaments

2009-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

So I've been grinding the sngs again at ipoker, which have been going pretty well, almost got a workable roll for the limits I want to play there again, which is coolio. I want my GUKPT seat!

Played 2 live sessions last week. One was £10r, which I ended up dealing for as no one else wanted to which was fairly stressful, and didn't really give me a chance to concentrate/play much. Bust out pretty standardly (KK < 55 < 88), but got £20 and a free meal for dealing so not all bad. Ended up waiting around for AGES for a seat at a very juicy £1-1 cash game, but only got it at like 4am as it was winding down. I was pretty tired too, ended up dumping a quick £50 and leaving.

Next was the £50r, which was probably the worst I've ever run live. AK < A3, AK < J3s, AQ < 64s, top 2 < turned gutshot, £50 a pop. Managed to chip up a bit before end of rebuys, another £50 for the addon (in for 250, sigh). Chip up some more after the break, then get KK. few limps, I raise, some calls, J63r, I bet, get check-shoved on, call, he flips 36s. Sigh.

Gonna play it again tomorrow though, very fishy. And nice stakes-wise too (assuming I dont sink £250 every time...), dont particularly feel like playing cheap tournaments if i'm making a trip and using up an evening trying to make money. And I'm sure not going for the atmosphere, lets face it - gamblers are either dull or annoying. Usually both. Ipods are an awesome invention.

Anyways, glatt y'all.

lots of downs...then an up

2009-01-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

So i've been doing that whole tilt thing again...which has been pretty costly. Low point was playing $500 and $1k hu sngs in ipoker. dropped 3k there, probably down about 7k the last few weeks overall. Which sucks majorly - I'm a stupid twat. Been having a very rough 6 weeks anyway, with an array of personal and medical problems, so my head really hasn't been in the right place. I've withdrawn whats left of my battered bankroll (about 2k), have been depositing every now and then for mtts when I feel like it's not too bad of an idea... but i havent felt like grinding at all, so ive been playing the odd mtt session, but less games and higher buyins, so down about another 2k from those - not that much for $200 mtts. was playing ok, probably shouldn't be playing them, but oh well. Decided I really want to get out of this stupid country and play a live event somewhere, so have been playing sats for things including the irish open which I played a sat for yesterday...

and took down a seat! weeee

In april I shall be visiting the land of green, guinness drinking leprechauns surrounded by shamrocks and fiddles... and any other stereotypes you care to think of. So that cheered me up greatly; dont know why but sort of feel like I might settle down now. I've been gambling looking for a big score, now I actually got one (shock horror) maybe i'll be a bit more sensible. Bought time too, need to get back on the sngs for the bigslick promotion, dont want to get 1/2 way to a gukpt seat and then quit, would be such a waste.

...and that's a wrap.

2008-12-24T10:44:00.000-08:00

So I guess it's time for the mandatory '2008 roundup' post. Pretty good year in terms of results...

Fulltilt: $3600
Rileys: $0 (50 deposited)
Ipoker: $6250
Pokerroom: $0 ($600 deposited)

total online: $9850
LIVE: +$1250

2008 total: $46,150
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $76,750

Had a great run towards the end of the year in the mtts, ran like crap in the sngs but not too devastating, and started tilting and turning to the cash tables. Ups and downs! Don't really feel like I improved much as a player this year though, and next year I plan to work on my game more if I get the time. 2009 goals copied from pfu:

- If I do play full time for a prolonged period of time like this summer, get a Cardrunners subscription and spend some time analysing and improving my game.

- Start actually building my roll instead of cashing out all the time. Get my roll big enough to play the majors regularly ($20k minimum)

- Get my first 5-figure score. Been close a few times, would be nice to nail one.

- Get to at least 1 GUKPT tournament via the bigslick promotion, try to sat into others, play well in them.

- Stop tilting and donating at the cash tables.

- I'd like to have a $50k year since I was just short this year, but I don't know how realistic that is as I probably wont play as much. Guess that's just a thought rather than a goal.

Well, that's that then.

oh noes...

2008-12-18T20:10:00.001-08:00

Looks like that pesky 'tilt' thing is back (leaning tower? tilt? geddit? ...never mind). Been playing some cash, 2/4-10/20 CAP and shortstacking. Silly. Up ~1k overall, which is pretty amazing considering how much of a donk I am. Bust my PP roll, ran my pokerroom roll up to 1750 (and sensibly cashed it all out just now) broke about even at fulltilt. I really enjoy the CAP games there, but I really suck at them. Hopefully making this post and thinking about it will stop me playing any more... might take a break for a while.

One thing that helps me put things in perspective is that playing 3/6 or 5/10 with what's most likely a bunch of cash regs is almost certainly -ev for me, even shortstacking or trying to find other shortstacks to play against... in which case, I'm not just gambling, I'm taking a pretty bad gamble. It's probable that I have a higher expectation (tho obv still negative) playing roulette. And since I have an absolute 100% no casino games rule, how come this is allowed?

Lets hope the pleasure side of my brain starts listening to the logical side...

Fulltilt: $2700
Rileys: $0
Ipoker: $6400
Pokerroom: $0 ($1750 withdrawn)

total online: $9100
LIVE: +$1250

2008 total: $46,050

Rebuy tastic

2008-12-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

So I had another decent mtt session, went deep in pretty much all the mtts I played, had a few small cashes, went very deep in a $30r and $25r on ipoker, busting the 25 in ~15th. I final tabled the $30r as chippo, though only had 12bbs, so was a crapshoot really. The table was halariously tight so I was shoving a lot, and bust 2 shorties with 94o which was fun. Got HU pretty even, then lost when villain open shoved for 4x pot with OESD, I snapped with top pair but couldn't hold, so I took 2nd for $2400. It really helps running so good in mtts when I seem to insta-drop 10 buyins whenever I even think about playing sngs.

EDIT: another great (and in parts frustrating) mtt session again tonight, really deep in a load of tournies. Got to the final few tables of a few for some cashes, got to the final table of a $100 mtt on ipoker but manage to bust in a huge cooler when in 2nd in chips to the chippo QQ < AA which sucked. $600 there, and then I donked up a $50 turbo tournament that lasted 1hr 15mins for 250 people lol, won it for $3.6k. Mtts love me at the moment!

Fulltilt: $2700
Rileys: $400
Ipoker: $6750
Pokerroom: $700 ($3000 withdrawn)

total online: $10550
LIVE: +$1250

2008 total: $45,750

sng pain

2008-12-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

So the pain has continued, and I'm on a ~80 buyin downswing. Which is always fun. My worst downswing buyin-wise (tho not in terms of $$$). Im still in profit tho which is something, at 3.8% roi... meh. But I'm feeling ok cos I just received my rakeback for last month - £1017 :)

Decided to play mtts today, got 2 final tables, 7th in a $100 for $350 and 3rd in a $25r for ~1200. So a decent session, up about $1k, but both very frustrating exits, especially the rebuy, where I lost a pot that was almost all the chips in play to a 3outer vs an insane lagtard 3 handed. Basically a $2k 3-outer. But anyway, feels nice to actually win some monies.

Fulltilt: $2850
Rileys: $500
Ipoker: $5200
Pokerroom: $600

total online: $9150
LIVE: +$1250

2008 total: $41,350

Moan.

2008-11-29T14:46:00.001-08:00

So I'm running like crap again. Guess I can't run like god forever... sigh. Was down some over the last few hundred sngs, then lost 30buyins ($1.5k) today. *blerg* Was a bit tilty and played a few $200 games (which were ridiculously soft - I scoped all the players, there was 1, I repeat 1 player in profit, most of them $5k+ losers) and broke even apart from the rake, but I'm just running terribly in the $100 games. So I might stick to the 50s and 30s for a while, until I find my feet again. Feeling the creeping tilt starting to overtake me brought back bad memories of early this year... don't want to do anything silly.

Not particularly related (ie not because of tilt) I've played a few sessions of cash after watching a strat video made by a couple of cash regs over at pfu. Was playing mostly .5/1, and am pretty confident I can beat the games decently. I'm not going to play any more for while until I'm 100% tilt-free to be on the safe side, but it's nice to feel a bit more comfortable about my cash play.

About 1/3 the way through this sng thing, so am pretty confident I can see it out, which will be pretty cool, the GUKPT will be fun. Shame my roi has plummeted from 34% to 8% in a week, but I was aiming for 5%, so meh. And my roi in the 50s, the only level I have a decent sample size in (~500) is about 15% which I'm pleased with.

Anyways, barring a 100 buyin downswing in the next 2 days, november will still be my best month to date, so am happy really. Just annoying to have a crappy end.

Fulltilt: $3000
Rileys: $500
Ipoker: $4650
Pokerroom: $600

total online: $8750
LIVE: +$1250

2008 total: $40,950

One better...

2008-11-20T16:55:00.000-08:00

So I lucksacked another mtt score :D This time finally managed to actually close it out, which feels awesome. Was the $50 20k at fulltilt. Started well, but then nothing much happened during the midstages, and I got a bit bored as I'd bust out of my other games. Got to the money, and then things started to look up after I opened shoved 20bbs on the button with 44 and obv hit against KK cos that's how I roll, and then just cruised to the FT. Played good on the final table, and then got hu against a crazy lag, and made some superstar calldowns, including calling a pot-sized allin with 3rd pair on the turn with equal stacks - basically calling allin with 3rd pair for $2k :) he had the draw and missed, and happily I scooped the $5.8k for 1st.

Had another losing session on the sngs, which brings the roi down a bit, but its still above 25% I think, and mtts have been awesome, so can't complain. Oh and I just played the poker society live game and luckboxed my way to 2nd.

November is a good month for poker.

Fulltilt: $3000 (4550 withdrawn)
Rileys: $500
Ipoker: $6850
Pokerroom: $600

total online: $10950
LIVE: +$1250

2008 total: $43,050

Mtt score

2008-11-18T06:15:00.001-08:00

*imagine new picture of smiling cat here*

Decided to play some mtts last night - was home ill so had a bit of time to spare. Went deep in a few games, bust out cruelly in a $25r on ipoker (allin on turn for massive chiplead with 15 left with KK vs KT on QJxx board, he dings his 6-outer). I was doing ok in a $109 mtt, but felt like absolute crap by this time, and was playing poorly. Didn't bust though, and starting concentrating again the final few tables. Ninja-shortstacked the whole way until about 8 left, then picked up some hands and went to 2/3. Then my internet cut out. Cue cheesies slamming his head against the desk for 10 minutes bemoaning his luck at final tables. I blinded out of course, but still managed to come 2nd :D ship the $4k and change. weeeee
Annoying I couldn't take the shot at the win though.

Sngs still going good too, so november's already my best month to date. Still 2 weeks to fit in a horrific downswongz though...

Fulltilt: $2000 (3950 withdrawn)
Rileys: $500
Ipoker: $7600
Pokerroom: $900

total online: $11000
LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $38,500

More running good

2008-11-15T15:14:00.001-08:00

Sngs are still going awesomely. Started mixing in a few $100 games - played 6, cashed in 5, won 4 lol. Always helps to run good in the expensive games!

I was aiming for 5%+ roi in these games. I'm at 34% at the moment. Whilst I know this isn't my true winrate, having an roi of nearly 7x my goal over 320 games is making me think I was underestimating slightly! I mean, at this point I'm pretty sure I can gaurantee a 10% longterm roi in the $50 games, at least for the time being. I can play at least 15 of those an hour. Including rakeback, that's ~$100/hr. That's madness! imo.

*warning: longish, cliff notes at end*
I've never wanted a 'career'. I've never been motivated profession-wise, and I'm at uni for something to do more than anything. I don't graduate for a few years yet, but I have a year out next year (doing a languages course, get to spend the year abroad), plus my girlfriend graduates this year, and it's all been making me think about, like, y'know, the 'future'. And stuff. As I say, I'm never going to join a coorporation and work my way up or anything. So what am I going to do? Really I just want to play music, travel, start writing again. Which made me think...why don't I just do that? Screw the whole 'get a stable job' thing.
I don't want to be rich and have fancy things, I just want not to have to worry about money, and I feel so lucky to have found poker - something that lets me do that.

So I'm thinking I'll play poker for a while, hopefully save some money (already got some savings too), and then travel around, maybe teaching english - whilst researching my year abroad I found loads of voluntary organisations requiring english teachers. How cool would that be? Just travelling around the world, seeing loads of amazing places - but not as a tourist (I hate being a tourist - partly why I'm doing a language course). If I run out of money, hopefully poker will still be there! Or maybe I'll spend half of each year travelling and the other half pokering. Something like that anyway.

So yes, there's my grand 'life plan'. I think I'll need to force myself to be proactive about it though, I can tell if I'm not careful I'll slide into a lazy degenerative heap and just play poker, forgetting the very reason I'm playing poker in the first place: to do the things I enjoy without worrying about the bills.

cliff notes:
-Poker is awesome.
-I'm never getting a job.
-Don't lose sight of why you're trying to make money - don't let work/poker consume you.

Fulltilt: $2100
Rileys: $500 ($2500 withdrawn)
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $6600 (crazy strong $$ means this is smaller than it should be as my balance is in £. I think... I really don't understand the economy/currencies/basic maths)
Pokerroom: $1150
Betfair: $0

total online: $10350

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $33,900

2008-11-15T15:14:00.000-08:00

A good week, and a frustrating finish

2008-11-10T14:07:00.000-08:00

So I final tabled the pacific 100k yesterday. Played pretty good for the most part, was a crapshoot by the final few tables, I was shoving like crazy and was getting away with it mostly :) then on the final table, 3/8, my aces go down in flames for a big chiplead at a terrible table, and there goes a very good chance at the $25k for 1st. Arg. So I was pretty gutted at the time of course. Was eyeing the top 3, 5-figure places, looking for my biggest cash to date. Twas not to be I guess. The $3k is welcome though...

Had a losing session on the sngs yesterday - pretty irratating since it probably would've been a slight winning session if my power cable hadn't broken and made me lose some games at crucial moments. But then today I played 23, and made 16 buyins, so can't complain :D So I'm up ~$3k on sngs this week (which is silly good imo) so it's been a pretty sweet week. Played 200, so another 12 weeks or so. If I can do half this good for the next 12 weeks... sweeeetness would ensue.

Fulltilt: $2100
Rileys: $500 ($2500 withdrawn)
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $3850
Pokerroom: $1150
Betfair: $0

total online: $7600

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $31,150

Sng goodness

2008-11-07T15:38:00.000-08:00

Been playing an hour or so a day since monday, trying to get in my 20/day quota for this ipoker promotion. Happily, I've been running real good :) up $2.3k over 150 games, which is pretty awesome. And with the dollar getting stronger, it's like £1400. woop! Also the stronger dollar means I need to play less games to reach £7500 which is cool too. I'm sure it'll all come crashing down fairly soon, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Tripled my roll at ipoker in 5 days! 6 winning sessions in a row - never had anything like it.

Anyways, so yeah, this is just a brag post really. Go me!

Fulltilt: $2150 ($1500 withdrawn)
Rileys: $50 ($100 deposited)
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $3150
Pokerroom: $1150 ($2000 withdrawn)
Betfair: $0

total online: $6500

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $27,550

I feel like a pig shat in my head...

2008-10-19T07:39:00.001-07:00

Had a few too many last night... fun night! No poker for me today though.

*groan*

Played 2 sessions since last post. Felt like I played pretty well the first one and had lots of near misses, but didn't manage to bag any scores and ended down $600-700. But yesterday I ended up winning $500 in small cashes, and reaching 3 final tables, 2 for $500 each and the third I took down for $1700 :) So that was nice.

I've decided to go for a promotion I've been told about - if you can generate $13k of rake from november until the end of march you get a £1000 seat at a GUKPT event of your choice and £200 expenses. It's more of a staking deal since the site gets 25% of any winnings and you have to wear logos and stuff, but still, I've wanted to play a gukpt event for a while, and this seems like a good way to do it. Good motivation too - I'll need to play ~2600 $50 sngs in that time, which works out at 130 a week. Which is a lot considering uni work, but I'll just go nuts over the xmas hols. I'll make $4k in rakeback alone! Guess I'll aim for... 10k total, which is like ~5% roi, should be doable.

Need to get pokertracker working again, I stopped using it on fulltilt because I couldn't get it to move hhs once it'd finished, so it took 20minutes reimporting thousands of hands everytime. But I think it should work for ipoker, and I think it's pretty important I get it working, especially seeing as I'll be playing at least 9 tables. I can get away with playing mtts without it, but getting even a tiny extra edge can mean a lot when I'm putting in this much volume of sngs.

Anyways, I'll stop rambling. I have a hangover to nurse and the screen is making my eyes hurt.

Fulltilt: $3550
Rileys: $0
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $1500
Pokerroom: $3250
Betfair: $0

total online: $8300

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $24,150

I'll be back...

2008-10-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

...right now! Just finished my first session of poker in over 2 weeks. It was a pretty small session, broke about even, meh, whatever. Actually got the internet a few days ago, but haven't really felt like playing...which is weird.

Looked into some opr stats of mine and found that my roi for mtts isnt really that great... about 30%, with an average buyin of $50. Which works out at roughly $60/hr which is good, but I feel I should be doing better than that really. Or at least I definitely could be, and it feels stupid/lazy not to try and do the best I can. I think partly it's the huge gap between my B+/A game and the rest of the time (really really huge), but also I haven't put any effort into bettering my game in a long, long time. Haven't read any poker books since HoH a year ago, browse and post on the odd strat forum, but not often. I don't mind too much now, since I don't have much time for poker (this year at uni is going to be much tougher than last year) but next summer/next time I play a lot I'll probably get a cardrunners membership or something. 50% I'd be happy with, and I don't think is unrealistic. So I guess that's a long-term goal.

I'm not unrealistic in my poker goals, I know I'm never going to be a top tier player, but I can definitely improve a HUGE amount from where I am now. I remember working out my hourly rate this time a year ago and it wasn't much different from what it is now. I'm playing the same limits with the same bankroll. I should've made a lot more progress than I have this past year.

So anyways, with that ponderous thought, I'm going to bed. What with somehow not feeling much like playing poker and having loads of work, I probably wont be posting much... GLATT I guess.

Fulltilt: $3900
Rileys: $0
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $1900
Pokerroom: $950
Betfair: $0 ($500 withdrawn)

total online: $6750

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $22,650

blerg

2008-09-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

Not been going so great. Lost $1k on wednesday, which is the biggest 1-day loss I've had for a while. Dropped $600 playing sngs, and then played 2 $200 hu games and lost them both. Which was pretty stupid. They were both fairly poor players, but my head wasn't in the right place, and dropping $200 in one game is still too much for me. So yeah, took the day off on thursday, played last night and made a bit (won a $10 turbo mtt on betfair) but got really deep in 3 tourneys and managed to bust them all which was really frustrating. Played a few games just now but got bored and it's a lovely day outside, so I'm probably going to go out instead.

Looking forward to going back to uni on monday, think I'm getting tired of poker for now. If I was ever going to do this full time for more than a few months, I think I'd need to force myself to have one or two totally non-poker days a week so I didn't get like this - bored and more prone to tilt. When I'm fresh it's great, I feel good, play good and can expect some nice results, but when I'm tired of it all evening winning (which doesn't happen often) is tainted. Sounds odds but I need to be more strict in taking time off, I stil have the urge to play when I'm not playing, but then when I start playing I want to stop. Weird, huh? Guess that's the gambling side of it. But I've made ~9k this summer (~2 months) which I'm happy with, paid for my holiday, rebuilt my online roll and have enough withdrawn so I can eat next year. Which is always good.

Anyways, probably wont play much over the next few weeks. Gonna have to get back into the habit of getting up before 12, studying and... well, not playing poker. I don't know how I'm going to manage!

EDIT: Was finishing off a $26 90player at ft when writing this post - just took it down for $600 :) which is a nice boost, and a nice way to close out poker for the summer. Adios for now.

Fulltilt: $4100
Rileys: $0
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $1550
Pokerroom: $1000
Betfair: $0 ($500 withdrawn)

total online: $6650

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $22,550

Fulltilt million challenge

2008-09-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

So I got up a 5am yesterday on 3 hrs sleep to go to london for the fulltilt million challenge. Got there at the start time - 10:30, and ended up waiting outside for 40 minutes while they registered everyone, and then another 45 minutes in a TINY room which was supposed to fit like 150 people?? So that was pretty sucky. As one guy sitting next to me 'the words brewery and pissup come to mind...' The actual room was pretty cool, laid out nicely, although again pretty packed, observers and tv crews all over the place (yep, I might be on tv... woo lol). Play got underway well past 12, 5k starting stack, 30 minute levels (missing out a few like 150/300...) Nothing much happened until 100/200, where I nearly doubled with trips vs trips lower kicker. Nothing much more, made a few steals, then lost a big flip, and was crippled, out in 45th or something. Meh. Oh well, at least I get $500 for turning up.

Been mostly playing sngs, which have been, ok, breaking even on them roughly. Also started some HU sngs, which have been going really well. Mainly pleased with me keeping my head, been playing well, and not tilting which has always been my main problem with HU. Probably up 400-500$ on them. The main thing which has helped is the sharkscope searches I bought - I just check everyone I play HU, and don't play the profitable players. Easy!

Fulltilt: $3850
Rileys: $0
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $2950
Pokerroom: $850
Betfair: $150

total online: $7800

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $23,200

FT FT

2008-09-11T19:27:00.000-07:00

Weird session this evening. Started off great, and had a few deep runs going, and then it all went wrong... had a big chiplead in a $75 mtts near the bubble, then lost AA < QTo AIPF to have double 2nd place, then AKs < AA for a big pot, and then 2nd nut boat vs nut boat to basically bust. Min cashed in that. Few other tourneys went in a similar vein, until I just had one $50 15k at fulltilt left. Ended up broswing the interwebs and drinking beer waiting for it to bust, but it didn't - ended up coming 4th for 1900 :) Bust AJ < AT, but got fairly lucky in parts... like getting it allin on the turn and hitting my 2 outer on the river with 15 left for huge pot, so can't complain!

Kinda feel relieved more than anything, was soooo tilty after busting the $75 tourney I thought I was going to explode.

Fulltilt: $2750
Rileys: $100
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $2950
Pokerroom: $950
Betfair: $150

total online: $6900

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $22,300

Slow and steady wins the race...

2008-09-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

Had a few poor sessions, but recently had a decent session on the sngs and a 90-man win at fulltilt. Up to 150 of the jackpot games, and am almost exactly breakeven (+$500 with RB/bonus). Still too small to tell, but I have a feeling it might be too hard to beat the extra $4 rake for a decent amount... getting an 8% ROI normally is breakeven here, a decent 10% is netting you $1 a game. Not sure that's worth it...certainly not without the incentives. It's weird...there are some players who play those games A LOT, like 12-tabling 6hrs a day, they seems to play ok, and on sharkscope they've played 7-10k games. And are down like 10k. One guy is down $24k over 7000 games. wha?? Seems mental, who grinds like that, for that long at those stakes and loses $24k? I don't understand it. I can understand people who play $400 HU games for the thrill, and lose a ton, but to grind out $60 sngs for hours every day just doesn't seem to fit somehow... maybe these guys are just desperate to win the jackpot.

Anyways, I'll play a few hundred more, see if it's viable, and then most likely just play the regular sngs there. And carry on with the mtts of course. Oh and I deposited on betfair for a promotion they had, some WSOPE freeroll. Starting to wish I hadn't though... still need to earn 250 more points in the next few days.

Fulltilt: $1100
Rileys: $150 (200 deposited)
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $3200
Pokerroom: $1000
Betfair: $150 ($400 deposited)

total online: $5600

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $21,000

Sunday...

2008-09-07T18:37:00.000-07:00

Just finished the sunday sesh. Went pretty meh. Had a pretty bad session earlier dropping $500 on sngs, and spending $550 on sats for 2 $200 seats, so although I'm up on this session, I'm down on the day. Had one small cash for $280, and came 2nd in a $5r for ~$1k. Went better than it could've.

Fulltilt roll is crazily low, might actually have to redeposit :/

Fulltilt: $700
Rileys: $0
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $3150
Pokerroom: $1100

total online: $4950

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $20,950

Ok day

2008-09-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

Had a couple of deep runs, finishing 14th in a $55 mtt on pokerroom, and 21st in one on FT, and had a final table with I busted 7th for $380. Slightly frustrating, but most of them were coolers, didn't take any beats in them so don't feel too annoyed. Doing pretty well on the jackpot sngs, up ~$450 on them today. Just a matter of time before I get a run going, 6 top 2's should be doable, especially since I haven't been playing them much - am going grind them alot more from now on I think.

edit: decided to track these sngs, just pulled up my tourney histories; I'm almost exactly even over 67 games (up $7 lol). Bonus/RB mean I'm up a couple of hundred overall. Obviously tiny sample, but I thought I'd done better than that... I'll play a few hundred and see. Maybe the extortionate rake isnt really beatable for a decent amount.

Fulltilt: $1500
Rileys: $0
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $2450 ($3700 withdraw)
Pokerroom: $1000

total online: $4950

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $20,950

This always happens...

2008-09-01T19:03:00.000-07:00

I go on a bad run and stop blogging because I'm temporarily annoyed at poker, then I post when I get a decent win :)

So yah, been on a pretty horrific downswing this week. Down 3k maybe? Maybe more, havent kept proper track. Just not going well at all, then had a pretty bad sunday yesterday, though I've been playing well I think. But started today well with a bit of profit on the sngs, won a 90player for ~$600, fted a $15mtt for $450 and won the pfu session which might not be particularly profitable but is a great confidence boost as the standard of play is very high.

And to finish it off, just finished 2nd in a 10r 35k on ipoker for $4.2k yay!

hold the phone...wait just a minute now...I think...yes! WOOP! Broke 50k FINALLY!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Man that monkey's been on my back for sooo long. Take THAT stupid monkey. Erm, anyway, I'm pretty tired.

Sleep. sleeeeeeepppzzz...

Fulltilt: $1850
Rileys: $50 ($600 deposited...why do I carry on giving this place my money?!)
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $5700
Pokerroom: $700

total online: $7650

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $20,600
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $51,200 <<<< BOOM

Good session

2008-08-21T06:59:00.000-07:00

Came 2nd in a $26 90 player for ~$350 and 4th in a $7 rebuy for ~$450. GL to cottlad from pfu who's still in. Would've been cool to be HU for the win, but never mind. Also had a nice profit from the sngs on ipoker.

Mostly playing good, though bust a few tourneys stupidly, really need to work on concentrating the whole time and not phasing out/blowing up/being a donk. Still, nice to have a good session.

Fulltilt: $3200
Rileys: $
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $2250
Pokerroom: $850

total online: $6300

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $19,250
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $49,850 <<< so close again!

arrrrrgggg

2008-08-19T20:22:00.000-07:00

Just finished unbelievably frustrating session, but I'll write about the last few days first.

Had a pretty terrible sunday. Satted into a load of big majors - $300 big deal on pokerroom, sunday warmup, PP 80k, 250k on ipoker, and played the FTOPS 24, and a ton of smaller ones. Cashed in one (one!) for $150 or something. Was pretty damn tired and not playing well at all, towards the end was tilting so bad was just open shoving every hand of the last few tourneys to get it over with.

Played again monday feeling better to begin with but started feeling a bit of the tilt set it, and again towards the end of session started to get 'lets bust this ****' syndrome. So had a break today and started playing this evening and felt a lot better, playing well and not tired, and no tilt. Having said that, bust most of my tourneys fairly early, ended up with a minor cash in a $75 (lost huge pot QQ < 88 to put me in top 5 with 60 left and then a big flip TT < AJs against the table donk) which left me with 2 games - $26 mtt which I again bust on a flip and a $33 8.5k on ipoker. Ran really well last few tables, won a few sizeable flips and 60/40s (and 40/60s) to give me a huge chiplead going into FT. FLopped quad aces early on to have 1/2 the chips in play 8 handed, cruised to 3 handed with 2/3 chips, then promptly lose A4s < J8o and AJs < A9o to the same guy within 3 hands to go joint 2nd, then shove 10bbs with A2s, and get called by new chippo with JJ and thats that.

WTF? How to I not take that down? Or at least get HU for a minimum cash of 1.3k? ARG.

Having said that the ~$800 is very useful, and makes up for some of the losses of the last few days. Coming 1st makes up for all of it and puts me over 50k total. Sigh.

Fulltilt: $2950
Rileys: $
Stars: $0 ($150 deposited)
AP: $0
Ipoker: $1550
Pokerroom: $900

total online: $5400

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $18,350
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $48,950

Running good.

2008-08-16T10:55:00.001-07:00

Well it seems like the 2 week stretch of pain has reversed - just finished a 6hr session, winning a $26 90player for ~$550 and coming 2nd in a $33 10k on pokerroom, for $1500. *big grin*

It's great remembering what winning is like again. Also awesome that I have a roll on the 3 sites now, dont have to worry about redepositing... for a little while :)

Fulltilt: $3600
Rileys: $50
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $1000
Pokerroom: $1550

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $19,300
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $49,900 << sooo close...

Decent session

2008-08-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

Just finished a nice session, winning a FTOPS main event seat (T$535 if I decide to take the money), PP 80k seat and placed 2nd in a $20 mtt on ipoker for ~$1k; ended up about $400 + seats overall. I've been thinking about sats recently... surely I really really shouldnt play the ftops game? $500 is like 15% of my roll. But I won my seat right? meh. I'll probably unregister. Maybe I should stop playing sats (unless I'm just playing for the T$), except for ~$100 mtts that I'm happy taking shots in, like the PP 80k. In fact, yes. That.

I've just unregistered.

ok.

I'm tired.

Fulltilt: $3250 ($1000 withdrawn)
Rileys: $50 ($200 deposited)
Stars: $0
AP: $0
Ipoker: $1150 ($300 deposited)
Pokerroom: $150 ($300 deposited)

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $17,700
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $48,300

Just seen I've made nearly double the £1200 I spent on hols since getting back about a month ago which is pretty awesome. Obviously I've spent money too, but it feels great to have made some monies and to have a $4K+ roll again. Am feeling good about poker atm :)

weee

2008-08-14T05:23:00.000-07:00

Long day yesterday. Played 2 sessions, which lasted ~5hrs each. First one ended up getting deep in quite a few, again busting a lot, (more KK < AQ/AJ) but made the final table of a $5 rebuy, busting 5th for ~$500. Bust kinda stupidly, which was disappointing, but a decent cash. Only ended up a few hundred on that session though - deposited on pokerroom and ipoker, lost quite a bit from each.

Then the night session, once again got deep in a couple - 16k freezout, which I ended up busting in 27th/1100 (SIGH) on a flip, and a $5 6max rebuy. I had a MONSTER stack (300bbs+) just after the rebuy period (1st hand after break managed to get it in good with TT on 85xcc board for 250bbs...<3 rebuys) cruised along chipping up, then down to last 3 tables I lost KK < Ax AIPF for big pots 3 times (2 of them were runner runner). Survived each time though, scraped to final table where my luck changed and won K2 > K8 and A8 > AK to take me to HU. We were 40bbs deep when hu so it was a grind, opponent was good but no match :P Ship the $2100!

Soooo satisfying. I've been getting deep a lot, feels great to finally close one out. Seems I've been getting deep in a lot of rebuy tourneys. They're great, allow for lots of play and the ones on FT don't have too many runners and so dont go on for 9hrs.

Been playing well and putting in a lot of volume, though I'm noticing leaks I think... late stages often around a 10-20bb stack I tend to 3bet allin alot over late position raises (with any hand I'd open raise with basically), but I think i'm doing it too wide. Lots of players tighten up insanely in the late stages, and I consistantly find myself getting called and being dominated. Also people have taken to open limping big hands with shortish stacks behind them (maybe just me? lol) to induce the shove. Which I often do...

Anyways, probably going to carry on what i've been doing - if I can keep getting to final few tables with this regularity hopefully some more nice scores are on the way.

Fulltilt: $4000
Rileys: $0 ($150 deposited)
Stars: $0 ($300 deposited)
AP: $0 ($300 withdrawn)
Ipoker: $50 ($500 deposited)
Pokerroom: $0 ($250 deposited)

Wow. Didnt realise I made that many deposits. And lost them all. Hm. Need to bankroll manage better on new sites.

LIVE: +$1200

2008 total: $16,950
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $47,550

This is getting silly.

2008-08-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

Yep, did it again. Got deep in a bunch of tourneys and bust like 14th in all of them. ARG. 2 of them were rebuys ($5 and $20) bust 12th in the $5 running A7s into AK and 20th in the $20 when KK < AQs AIPF for 40bbs. Also bust a few 90player fts early against 4 outers, etc.

It's so frustrating...I can feel a big score coming, I'm playing great for the most part, just a matter of time. Wish it would hurry up though, I'm starting to worry about my bankroll again.

oh and in the last 90 player of the night I mentioned yesterday, I busted 8th losing 2 40/60s in a row, whcih I was fine about, except I missed 1 hand getting a drink - had kings, 2 allins, I would flop quads, lol.

Sigh. Back to it tomorrow I guess.

for the love of god...

2008-08-11T16:24:00.000-07:00

man I hate this game sometimes. Got down to final few tables in a $20 rebuy and 9.5ko on ft, bust both, the ko QQ<99 for huge pot, the rebuy was in top 3, then guy who was shoving at least once, usually twice per round for 15-20bbs and had stolen my blinds lots open shoves the button, I call bb with a8 for 15bbs, he flips a9 - sigh. Think it was a good call though. Then run AK into AA and i'm crippled.

Also final tabled a 90 player, bust out first hand of the final table AK < AT, and got to final 2 tables, busting again.

AAAAHHHHHH

last game still going, ft of a 90 player again...just lost big pot though, down to 7th.

Sigh.

doifgjoerihgoinro'mv'oimbnoengpaeijr'fpoaijeroigjaokdmfv'aeijr

Live donkaments ftw!

2008-08-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well I've been in sheffield for the last few days sorting out uni stuff. Got my keys to my house for next year, which is great, except when I got there there was no phone, no internet and no hot water. And I lost my mobile. It felt very odd being totally disconnected from the outside world... you kind of take it for granted normally. Also meant I had to unregister from the FTOPS events I'd satted for which was very annoying as I was looking forward to them, but I might buy in to some others instead with the T$.

Anyways, went out to the casino every night with a mate who plays a lot. In short: £50 1r+1a, ok stack at end of rebuy, card dead, ninja-shortstack, chopped a pot after guy slowrolled KK preflop against my A6 allin shove, he flops a set - flushed board ftc (I laughed lots), went out A6 < AK aipf, flop a 6 river brings the resuck, bust 14th, top 8 pay.

£10r, halarious, 1000chip rebuys, didnt rebuy, ok stack at end of rebuy, ridic card dead, double with AA, miss 15 outs in a big pot, bust standard in 14th top 10 pay. (pattern at all...?)

£30 + £20r, didnt rebuy, ok stack at end of rebuy, redic card dead, ninja, etcetc but this time chip up a bit with some nice hands and then win monster pot 11 handed (with JJ, 3 way allin on 359 flop - they flip 66 and A4...), chippo going to FT, obv cheesies ftw :P Ship the £800!

So that was pretty satisfying. Promtply lost a buyin and a half in a super juicy £1/£1 game, so all in all I think I ended up about £450 just for poker, although probably more like £350 for the trip overall, including taxis/food/bought some dvds, etc. Still, pretty happy with the result. Was slightly anxious on the train home carrying my laptop and nearly £1k in cash though!

So, online I'll carry on satting to bigger events, hopefully have a decent sunday. And I'll probably research the live scene in bristol a bit more. Live play bores me senseless but I cant argue with the potential for money making, the players are just so piss poor. Shame they're so bloody irratating too.

Fulltilt: $2200 (including ftops T$)
Rileys: $50
Stars: $0
AP: $250

LIVE: +$1200 (includes some older cashes, total is minus expenses, e.g. taxis)

2008 total: $16,150
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $46,750

Just realised how much I want to break 50k. I've been hovering around 45 for months now and I want to actually show some progress. Tentative goal for the summer...

More frustrations...

2008-08-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

Keep coming close to decent scores, made the final table of a bunch of smallish mtts and bust out 7-9 in all of them. Also had a 20buyin downswing in the sngs, which is always fun. Been 12 tabling the $33 games on fulltilt for the sng madness promotion. I lost $600 playing the games, but at least I made $20 for coming 6th in one of the 2hr slots, so that's ok. *sigh*

So I'm going to give the sngs a rest for now. Really feel like a decent mtt win is around the corner. 2 FTOPS events coming up, plus I'm going to a casino a few times next week for a £50 1r+1a, and a £10 rebuy, so hopefully I can put in a good showing there too.

I'm up $1550 since coming back from hols, so am on track to make back what I spent. Hopefully I'll do significatly better though.

Fulltilt: $1800
Rileys: $50
Stars: $0 ($1000 withdrawn)
AP: $250

2008 total: $14,550
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $45,150

frustrating but decent sunday

2008-07-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Played the million on stars, the brawl, 750k and 40k on fulltilt, 80k at pacific and the 75k at absolute, and a handful of other random ones.

Made two decent runs. Got deep in the brawl, down to 90, then lost a massive race to put me in top 5 with JJ
Then was the million, played a ninja shortstack for hours, got aces at a few timely spots and had average chips with 300 left. My bustout hand:
raise to 2.2x with qks, bb calls. Flop 9Tx with the flush draw, guy bets small, I raise big, he calls.

Turn A, he checks I ship it, he tanks and calls with... 95s (with the flush draw). I miss.

BAH! Should've raised a little less on the flop to give me more FE on the turn, but still, very annoying. 95s? grrrrrrr

Anyway, cashed for $1k in that. So I definately feel it could've been a lot better, but having a winning sunday is a nice change. If I keep it all online I'll actually have a bankroll again which is a great feeling, although I need to withdraw some as I have very little cash available.

Fulltilt: $2.2k
Rileys: $100 ($300 deposited)
Stars: $1000
AP: $100 (200 withdrawn)

I also have $500 coming when I turn up at the million challenge tourney in london.

2008 total: $14,850
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $45,450

millions!

2008-07-27T04:37:00.001-07:00

So I've had a fairly good few days. Nothing huge, just a few smallish wins to get my BR at fulltilt out of the dangerously low area it was a few days ago. I also won a seat in the million pound challenge there:

http://www.fulltiltpoker.com/million-pound-challenge

Sounds awesome! Apart from the $1k, I go to london to play a tourney with the other 80 winners of these tourneys, top 6 get £1k, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 50k, and the winner plays phil ivey, patrick antonius and gus hansen HU for up to a million pounds! I probably wont win anything at all, but it'll be fun - I'll get to meet the pros I assume which'll be pretty cool in itself.

Got a biggish sunday today - 80k at pp, 75k at AP, brawl+750k at fulltilt, plus plenty of other smaller games. Would be great to have a nice cash and get a bit closer to robusto.

Lets go!

Overslept...

2008-07-25T04:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I majorly overslept this morning. My sleep experiment thing is fairly strict, and it basically means I messed it up, and undid most my 'adjusting' of the last week. Which really sucks. I also managed to miss an appointment with some window fitters for my dad's house. Epic Fail. So I'm thinking I might give the polyphasia a rest until next week, and I can have a few days of proper mtts, without having to sleep half way through them. I might start blogging about the polyphasia a bit more too when I start it again...might remind me to set my bloody alarm this time!!!

I've been playing a few mtts and some sats, got seats into the sunday brawl and the 750k at tilt, and also FTOPS events #1 and 3. So thats something, hopefully I can get at least one half decent cash in there somewhere. I literally cant remember when my last 4 figure cash was. Which is ridiculous. I could just unregister and get the tourney $$. Which I probably should, I'm basically spending $850 on mtts. Thats the problem when I play sats that I can unregister from, I'm playing the sat because I cant afford to buyin, therefore when I win the seat, I shouldn't play because I'm still not bankrolled. Oh well, I'll just pull a halfrek and win both FTOPS events, and all will be good.

One time?

oh the pain

2008-07-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday I lost ~35 buyins, in 80 games, in 2 hours. After that I rocked in the fetal position muttering and twitching.

I'd been on a good run beforehand, so it leaves me down about $100 since last post. Still, fairly depressing. I've no doubt I can crush these superturbos but this kind of variance is nuts - if something similar happens again I could get near busto at fulltilt which would really suck. So maybe I should go back to mtts. Except my weird sleeping pattern kind of prevents it - I'd have to take breaks in the middle of games.

Meh, this sucks.

Edit: Big congrats to idi0 at pfu, who just took down the fulltilt 40k for $15k! Fantastic result. Am very, very jealous :)

Slow progress

2008-07-19T05:58:00.000-07:00

Been fairly swingy, probably because I'm playing lots of the super turbos, which are just insane - I can play 40/hr easily. Had quite a few breakeven/losing sessions, but just finished a good 90minute session, and am up about $400 since last post. Probably played about 10hours or so.

*waffle warning* - mostly thinking on paper, may be tedious.

While AP's recent 'fame' thing is actually worse in terms of incentives, I might try and concentrate on it. Think I might play an absolute TON next month (for which there might be a 2k bonus in diamond form...?) - like 4 hours a day minimum, 7 tabling (when I can, the traffic isn't that high at ap all the time, so I can fill it in with the super turbos at tilt) If I can play 40sngs a day I should make the diamond elite thing. Which doesnt actually look that good, but whatever. All it takes is 15/hour for 3 hours, should be fairly doable... just motivation is the problem I guess. However, I'm doing a crazy sleep thing at the moment (google polyphasia), just for fun, but it means I have loads of free time, so hopefully I should make it.

Having said all this, I just figured out I could make at least $40/hr playing the super turbos, and the 40/hr figure is based on only playing the $15s, which I dont, and it's based on a 7% ROI (it's 9% atm - I like being cautious...). So it could be quite a bit more than that.

Ahh, decisions decisions.

AP: $750
FTP: $1100

2008 total: $13,400
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $44,000

Time for the grind!

2008-07-15T12:00:00.001-07:00

Right! Back from hols in france and spain which was great, but left me £1200 poorer and I'm in serious need of some monies. Basically planning to do exactly what I did last summer, grind sngs, a few mtts mixed in - I'm even moving back to AP (I know, I have no morals...) so hopefully it'll be an exact match of last summer...including the profits.

A good start, just played some super turbos on FT which are great (start with 10bbs :P great fun) and made $50, then deposited onto AP, played 2 $20 6man and won them both, a nice welcome back ;)

PP/rileys: $-
AP: $500 ($400 deposited)
FTP: $950

2008 total: $13,000
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $43,600

downs

2008-06-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

Well, my forray into horrifically underrolled cash inevitably went pear shaped, and I ended up losing a load and then cashing out some, leaving just a few hundred online - had exams and stuff, so shouldn't have been playing anyway. Seem to have my head screwed on ok now, and am playing well. Have come painfully close to a few big scores; last 50 in $50 MSOP mtt, lose HUGE pot TT < 34s; down to 11 in $26 mtt, 3k to first, lose huge pot for chiplead KK < AK; final table of PP20k, 5k for first, lose huge pot AK < AT to go out in 8th etcetc. However, i'm confident one will come soon, i'm playing the best I've played for a while, just some bad situational luck stopping me from solidly getting back on my feet.

Just took down a $24 90player KO sng on ft for ~$600, which is a great help - more than doubled my current online roll! That's kinda depressing...but i'm on the way up ;)

PP/rileys: $200 ($600 deposited)
Stars: $- ($500 withdrawn)
FTP: $800 ($400 deposited)

2008 total: $12,950
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $43,550

What, me, run good? Surely not...

2008-05-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

firstly, lol at me taking a few weeks off :)

Decided to carry on trying the shortstacking vs other shorties for a while, though obv not at 5/10, and am running good for once. Including the 5/10 I played last week I've played ~2000 hands, and am up a little under $3k. Should be more actually, made one or two mistakes which probably cost me ~$500. But never mind! I will learn.

Most of it (Apart from the 5/10...running 75PTbb/100 there lol) came from 2/4, though some from 1/2 and 3/6. Withdraw some more, still not convinced this is going to work out... but we'll see. Might sling a few hundred on pacific again, stars is ok, but the cash games at PP are much better. Heard good things about some other sites too - I'll see how things work out.

PP/rileys: $-
Stars: $2500 ($1150 withdrawn)

2008 total: $14,950
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $45,550

took a shot... :D

2008-05-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

Funny evening. Kinda went insane... Started off by playing about with a few hundred I had on pacific, (got bored of trying to grind it up lol) got it up to 400 playing 2/4, then jumped into a 5/10 game :D Got it up to 600, then down to 500. Then quit, and promptly lost it playing 3/6 HU. No biggie. However, the 5/10 game I was in was full of shortstackers - me included, but I was shortstacking better than them. It seemed very profitable, (coughandIwastiltingcough) so I decided to shortstack with my stars roll, mainly against other shortstackers (table selection was the key)...at 5/10. In short, I won $1700 :D Minus the 200 from pacific means $1500 profit on the evening.

So...I obviously need a break from poker. Playing levels for which I have 3 buyins isn't the best bankroll management in the world lol... But it did seem super profitable. I'm tempted to look into it, though probably at levels I can afford. But not for a few weeks - I have exams anyway. So I've withdrawn my winnings from tonight, gonna buy myself an amazing amp and looping pedal for my guitar and come back in a fortnight.

Man it feels good to run well when taking a shot. FINALLY!

PP/rileys: $- ($150 deposited)
Stars: $2500 ($1700 withdrawn)

2008 total: $13,800
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $44,400

Good day

2008-05-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

Was down a few hundred this morning, but then won another of the $60 45mans, which makes 2 wins...and considering I've only played 2 in the last 6 months, I think that's pretty good going! Ran good in it - nice to run good in the more expensive games for once.

FT: $-
PP/rileys: $200
Stars: $3700

2008 total: $13,650
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $44,250

some swongs

2008-05-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

Day after last post I dropped 600-700$ just running bad, then had a frustrating sunday, though I didn't lose much. Had a good day today though, won a $60 45 man, and some other cashes, which nearly made it back - just down a few hundred now.

Sunday was annoying though, felt like I turned a corner in my mtt game, but then didn't really 'feel it' on sunday, bust out of loads early with undersets, big pairs, etc, and just didn't get rolling. Didn't play all that badly...but not that well either. Plus I have this bad habit of it I only have a few cheap games left I just go nuts to try and bust or accumulate a huge stack - I get bored basically. Not really sure how to combat this...

Anways, today was good. Positive mental attitude!!

FT: $-
PP/rileys: $250
Stars: $2800

2008 total: $12,800
Grand total (since 01/03/07): $43,400