Soooo the end of the year. A time to look back, reflect, ruminate, and to look ahead, plan, imagine.
Or to change the background colour of your blog, either's good. Anyway, first lets look at the pokers.
-> Online results:
So no complaints at all there, other than at myself for being such a lazy bastard. I obviously don't get to see anywhere near all of that given that I was backed for most of the year and had to clear Vegas live makeup, but pretty pleased I can pretend I won 6-figures! Some pretty silly swings in there, but the upswing is the most noticeable which is the way it should be :) Other notables include two triple crowns, (one of which I won in a single session!) and cold 4bet/calling off with K9o in a $5k. Wups.
-> 2011 was definitely the year I started playing live tho so a quick breakdown:
- Bricked 20-25 $1k+ events in a row including vegas and about 8 ept/wpt tours
- Online cleared vegas MU and then won a €1k side event in Prague which cleared the euro makeup
- Won money in vegas cash games
- Got backed for live cash, lost money in euro cash games
So fairly meh, lost money overall but some deep runs towards the end of the year which is a much needed confidence boost. Definitely looking forward to more live next year, when you're playing well it's just so immediate and fun. Nothing like stacking piles of chips to make you smile!
All in all, I think poker can be counted as a moderate, lazy success.
Outside of poker things get a bit more murky.
-> Didn't get to any festivals this year which I'm very disappointed about, been very lax with music and writing. Did a little travelling around Europe and America which was great. Creative and cultural stuff a mild fail.
-> Diet, exercise and sleep have all been very varied, 'lived' in about 6 different friends' or parents' houses for a few weeks/months at a time, and haven't even slightly settled or made clear ties anywhere. Attempts to have some sort of routine or stability also a fail.
-> I was actually debating whether to include this due to the typical reception of the subject but I firmly believe mental health should be regarded in the same way as physical health in terms of how it's discussed and perceived, and if I'd been in a car crash I'd write about it so fuck it. If I'm judged or avoided or whatever because of it at least then I'll have a legitimate reason to label someone a twat rather than just vaguely assume they are like I usually do. So:
Worst has been the continuing deterioration of my mental health despite concerted efforts to improve. It's heading towards being unmanageable at this point and am pretty apprehensive about this for next year, especially since I've decided to spend the whole winter (which is always when I'm at my worst) in the UK, something I've not done in a few years. Spent half the winter here early this year and it was staggeringly unpleasant, so might not be the best idea... Having said this I'm a lot more aware of what's going on now, and have the next 6 months fairly well planned which should be good for general stability. Looking into various options regarding treatment, none of which are particularly encouraging, but going to try anything I can obviously - don't really have much choice.
The year to come:
-> Moving into a flat in Leeds for the first six months of next year with Monsieurs Dan Morgan and Luke Fields. Really looking forward to this, going to put in a lot more volume hopefully, since both Dan and Luke are very well-behaved grinders and encouragement and shame are a powerful combination! Also going to sort out some kind of part time job or volunteering position, something completely separate from poker that will help me unwind. Dan and I are pretty evenly matched at badminton so I foresee/will enforce lots of playing (also saw in lildave's blog him and Perrins plan to play - badminton league?!) and have friends in Leeds and Sheffield, so generally feeling very positive about it all.
Pretty funny sweat as to whether Luke would have the money to pay for the rent, was looking like we might need to find a new third person - always knew the sweat would end in some ridiculous way and sure enough he just gets third in the Sunday Million for $110k on the first sunday in months he had 100% of his action about a week before he has to send the rent money. Standard LF. You'd better be buying the milkybars Mr Magic!
-> Heading to Vegas after Leeds and cashing in a WSOP event is definitely a goal. Plan to do a bit more rambling around America too, but nothing nailed down.
-> My bank balance violently disagrees with the graph at the top, and whilst I've enjoyed living my life in an extremely unsustainable way I've decided I need to be less of an idiot. With that in mind I'm aiming to spend slightly less in general life expenses, and certainly going to spend a lot less in Vegas (despite being there longer).
That's about it, nothing else planned. 2012's going to be an interesting one... let's see what happens. Typed 'lets see' into google images to finish with some stupid picture about THE FUTURE but the first that came up is a stupid picture about PANDAS and is much better: